by HelenaPersonally, I don't use the word "nigger" or "nigga" at all because I find it distasteful. I find the indignation of white people who are told that they can't use it to be most amusing - who wants to lay claim to a single word when you can weave together entire sentences to destroy the egos of your enemies?
I am down with your views on the word "unacceptable," however. Whenever someone says "the 'N' word," they force their listener to imagine the word "nigger." Thus, they hand responsibility for their usage of that word over to their listeners. Why don't they just SAY the word? I believe that Louis CK did a good skit on it awhile ago.
As for your presumptuous Facebook friend (ex-friend?), I'm not actually shocked that she's respected. People will respect anyone they deem to be strong. I get told regularly that I'm an "inspiration to society" because people don't realize that I'm a career criminal. People just love a good underdog story. They'll overlook the most hideous offenses if you've been accepted into medical school despite your upbringing (I was probably accepted into medical school in large part BECAUSE of my upbringing, not despite it). Your ex-friend has probably got some sob story that she reiterates frequently to demonstrate how fucking awesome she is for escaping the drudgery of a plebeian upbringing and making herself look so patrician.
You're probably right. But apparently, as I recently found out, she is also a teacher/professor. She's probably strict, and probably respected by those who didn't have the balls to dissent when they took her course. Her ego was blatantly inflated by years of self-righteous douchery. But that tends to happen when you spend your life around a bunch of teenagers that obey you due to fear of consequences.