I've decided to finally come to the bat-cave of fellow Sociopaths. I will pay my respects to
the leader as and when the leader replies to this thread.
I don't usually seek out other Sociopaths but I feel almost alien to the rest of humanity.
Once I reveal my mask every human doesn't want to know me. Suddenly I become the
sole reason for every disaster in their life and so fourth I am shunned from society.
Dating could be described exactly the same. Even if I manage to find someone who doesn't
mind being around me they automatically reject me upon discovering what I feel inside.
Which is nothing. Just a hallow calculating shell of nothing.
It wasn't always like this though. During my childhood I could actually feel love and empathy
for those around me. In school though I was the target of intense bullying. In a way I grew to
love the negative attention. It is how I got though 10 years of hell. However there was a mix
of strong emotions. Wanting to be accepted, fearing for my life and having some connection
with the opposite sex. It didn't just stop at school though. It carried on though College and in
the work place. I developed a hunger for negative attention.
Now I am warped upon belief. The most vile things stimulate me like group orgies and manipulating
people to the point where they become a hostage by their own emotions.
Looking back at my previous exploitations I only just wish for a next victim to do the well known
Silence of the Lambs scene where Hannibal completely shreds the trainee FBI agent and calls her
a well scrubbed rube. (Yokel Local White Trash). He then strikes fear into the agent by telling her
he ate a humans liver with fava beans and some wine.
Most would think I was conditioned into being a Sociopath. Well that is half of the story. I am
a super male. Recipient of XYY chromosome syndrome from my parents. As much as I hate the
condition I am stuck with it. I have had Borderline Personality Disorder traits since I was born.
Now I have Narcissistic Personality traits.
There are dozens of doctors queuing up to examine me. I recently told University of Oxford to sod off.
I don't want to be no lab rat.
Anyway I am bored. Bored upon belief. Bored to the point where depression Is just one step away.
by TurncoatIf you were truly warped, wouldn't you no longer see the things you do as "vile"?
Depression can manifest as numbness. Have you ruled that reason out for where your feelings have gone? There's far more possibilities than just "sociopathy".
Yes if I was truly warped I would have no remorse what so ever. However I am self aware and holding onto the last bits of humanity I have left. Trouble is a Sociopath without a fear is a Sociopath who makes irrational decisions and then faces jail time. The fact that I can some how see the reactions from others is a strength. Even if I am at most incapable of a active conscious I can at least utilize the conscious of others.
There are days when I just go complete idiot-rant mode at friends/family and then 2 hours later when talking to someone else online about what happened I realise I may have just acted like a total jerk.
Not really. I am pretty happy at the moment because I got a forum reply. You fed me. I still have this emptiness though.
I have been clinically diagnosed numerous times. I have also been cross examined by 5 doctors. But now whatever therapy I get I just use it in a way to get access to anti-psychotics to help me manage my moods/personalities. It also helps to choose environments as well and apply different medication when I need it.
I don't usually like speaking out in the open about this though because other Sociopaths usually don't want Drs knowing how they can be controlled.
by Thrill Kill
by ControversyI will pay my respects to the leader as and when the leader replies to this thread.
That would be me. Your respect is much appreciated.
If it is you then I must apologise for baiting you in the other thread. However you could be lying and see if I fall for that trap. But then again I guess you have to put up with narcissists 247. Forum trolling is usually our full time hobby.
"There are days when I just go complete idiot-rant mode at friends/family and then 2 hours later when talking to someone else online about what happened I realise I may have just acted like a total jerk."
I've done the same sort of thing more than once, but I've done so as not a sociopath.
So you take anti-psychotics? What are you like without them?
by Thrill KillOh yes, you're the idiot that didn't understand how to respond properly in my thread. That's not baiting, my dear, that's you lacking comprehension.
Yes. The hunger for attention always reigns supreme. But I am a idiot at times :D Well most of the time.
by Turncoat"There are days when I just go complete idiot-rant mode at friends/family and then 2 hours later when talking to someone else online about what happened I realise I may have just acted like a total jerk."
I've done the same sort of thing more than once, but I've done so as not a sociopath.
So you take anti-psychotics? What are you like without them?
I start hearing voices. People knocking on the door or people shouting my name out. And I tend to be taken in by my own delusions. The whole 2012 scare put me into lock down mode.
by Thrill Kill
by ControversyI have been clinically diagnosed numerous times.
What were you diagnosed with?
If it's mentioned in your main post... I didn't bother reading it all.
XYY Syndrome (blood dna test). Autism, OCD, BPD, NPD, learning difficulties and dyslexia.
I have a low IQ but don't let that fool you. I am qualified in 10+ careers.
"I start hearing voices. People knocking on the door or people shouting my name out. And I tend to be taken in by my own delusions. The whole 2012 scare put me into lock down mode."
Ever try Zinc? My own case of problems like that was apparently Pyroluria. They wanted to put me on a cocktail of medications, but a simple supplement fixed it all (well, most of it anyway).
I cover my B6 issues with Vitamin Water Revive. The potassium helps too.