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Posts: 84
Relieving Anger

 

by Venator of Verum

The way I see it (mind you, it is a skewed point of view as it relates to my experience only), you have three options:

A) Be the Master/Shepherd and tell her how to defend herself

B) Be the Mentor/Guide and teach her how to defend herself

C) Be a friend and defend her in her stead

No matter how much personal attachment you resolve to invest into the affair, you will still be detached in the end and only anger will direct you.

 Possibly be of the most intelligent suggestions I have seen in quite some time.

Venator has summed up the options well.

Posts: 3882
Relieving Anger

All 3. Thank you.

The situation has evolved quite a bit now. I've already confronted him, got tired of waiting and just went to his place of residence.

She came with me, she broke their relationship then and there with me standing next to her. To see his face when she downgraded him, how badly he wanted to react. Seeing his face twist and contort itself back and forth between anger and rationalization was priceless. Knowing that I made this all happen just by standing there was even better. 

After it was done one thing kept bothering me. When he did speak, his tone varied between several emotions. One of them was guilt. He has been sending countless apologies through voicemails.

23 to be exact.

 

Posts: 84
Relieving Anger

 

by Systematic

All 3. Thank you.

The situation has evolved quite a bit now. I've already confronted him, got tired of waiting and just went to his place of residence.

She came with me, she broke their relationship then and there with me standing next to her. To see his face when she downgraded him, how badly he wanted to react. Seeing his face twist and contort itself back and forth between anger and rationalization was priceless. Knowing that I made this all happen just by standing there was even better. 

After it was done one thing kept bothering me. When he did speak, his tone varied between several emotions. One of them was guilt. He has been sending countless apologies through voicemails.

23 to be exact.

 

 Not an uncommon action for a perpetrator of domestic violence. 

if she had remained he would have undoubtably continue used apologising, possibly attempting to 'make it up to her' by being overly kind. I would not be surprised if these kinds of text messages follow on from the remorse/apologies. Once these are not reciprocated and/or she acts in some perceived inappropriate fashion, the perpetrator will quickly return to an episode of violence - be it physical, mental, psychological etc.

Perpetrators of domestic violence really do simply need to be skinned alive  - such a drain on tax payer dollars and generally low functioning, boring, twerps. Blah

Back to the point - the danger period may not actually be in the past Systematic. The highest danger to a victim of domestic violence comes when she ( statistically most victims are female) leaves the perpetrator. 

Undoubtably you are attempting to address your own obsessive issues with this female but it may very well be that you are the very best protective factor in her life at this time.

Posts: 1231
Relieving Anger

Glad to be of assistance.

I do enjoy injustice, so as to allow for the provision of justice.

Can't have one without the other.

Posts: 174
Relieving Anger

She'll probably go back after a while again.

Posts: 59
Relieving Anger

Smiling!

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