So my husband of almost 3 years has told me he is a diagnosed sociopath with suspected o.c.d. He's extremely intelligent, controlling most of time and not affectionate or interested in sex. My problem is though, since finding out I have been struggling to understand. I ask him questions but he gets sick of trying to make me understand and I think he probably just doesn't care. I don't blame him for frustration over my 'stupidity' he's highly intelligent with next to no tolerance for idiots. Not his fault. He can't change that.
My problem is, he doesn't want anyone to know he's a sociopath. He said it would be worse than cheating. That he would punish me, get me back if I ever breathed a word. I guess it's like outing someone. He knows people will see him differently and that if his family and friends found out it would negatively affect these relationships that he's been 'maintaining' for years. I get that. People hear sociopath and they think Serial Killer! Which isn't fare. Anyway, after another exhausting rant about something or rather, I was upset and desperate and I felt I needed to vent, unload.. so I told my mother his secret. It just blurted out. I regretted it instantly but still felt relief to have released what has been weighing me down since I knew.
He asked me last night if I'd told anyone... I didn't want to lie to him (despite the fact that I suspect he lies to me quite often) so I admitted telling my mother. He laughed. I was immediately on edge. That was the reaction I was afraid of. His eyes showed a blank wall. I knew he was calculating something.. I apologized profusely but tried to stay calm. He seems to get a kick out of my overly emotional nature so I was determined not to lose my shit and beg for forgiveness. All of a sudden he says, icy eyes and stern face. 'You don't seem scared of me, of what I'll do to get you back... you should be'.
I don't know why I asked but I just had to know 'what do you have planned for me?'
'I'm not sure yet, I've ruled out a couple of options'
'And what would they be?'
'Killing you and making it look like an accident. Probably involving the train.(we live right beside some actively used train lines).. poisoning you, not enough to kill you just enough to make you very very sick, maybe requiring hospitalization. .and getting you fired from your job. Those iv ruled out'
I know he says ruled out. But should I be worried? I know that he might have just said that so that I'd freak out and not be able sleep all night (successful on that score) but like so many other situations it's all a game to him. The game isn't over.. how could be making me paranoid or then letting me think 'oh he's just messing with me' than bamm! I'm in hospital or Hogg tied to train tracks. He thinks so many moves ahead.
I am asking the other sociopaths out there. Am I safe? Is it a bad idea to stay in this house?
He's never harmed anyone as far as I know and never seemed violently minded before..
