The urges or fantasies I had from the beginning weren't really sexual. They had a special feet them. In fact that entire "urge" is more like a feeling. I get it today when I'm near animals that are hostile towards me (or just not friendly, but not dangerous). I also get it sometimes when I'm near or think about some retarded people and so on. Basically it's directed towards animals or weak people.
I also get urges to harm or even kill people that do things to me. It can be like in one situation where a woman was acting in a condescending or spiteful way towards me. I had never seen her before but I wanted to kill her. I even stood for a long time outside the place were she was, and watched her through the windows.