Message Turncoat in a DM to get moderator attention

Users Online(? lurkers):
10 / 90 posts

Trust


Posts: 417

I was talking earlier about making a topic about trust. I'm not going to make this topic too long. I feel like writing something because I think the amount of topics created is going down pretty steadily.

 

I've been wrestling with the question of trust. On this forum nobody really trusts each other because they're too afraid of being backstabbed. As a result, I've noticed that when I am being honest or kind to people I immediately get placed under suspicion. It's more of an observation than a complaint really. However the troublesome part about it is that nobody who isn't rotten to the core will get a say in anything. Kindness is interpreted as stupidity, weakness or deceit.

 

This brings up the question of why trusting someone is so hard. I suppose it's more about taking a leap of faith and being vulnerable. I wonder why it makes one vulnerable, though. I honestly don't know how to approach the subject. The story usually goes something like this: you confide in someone and the person passes whatever you said on to everyone else. The outcome is often screams of "BUT I TRUSTED YOU". Whatever the case, feelings have been hurt. In this particular example I wonder if the feeling of hurt would be as great if whoever goes around passing confidental information had just heard it in the passing.

 

There are other examples of breaking someone's trust which might vary from breaking a promise to pretending to be something you're not. The feeling of betrayal is still present regardless of how the trust was broken. I'm just mostly interested in the why. Trust itself is a difficult concept for me to get a clear grip on. For me it means that I can talk about myself honestly and I can count on someone. So as a result of losing that trust I suppose I have one less person I can be honest with or count on. I wonder if that means that trust by itself is self-serving. Then again by having a mutual trust you're also helping someone else, so I guess not.

 

That brings me back to my previous point about betrayal. I'm not sure what part of me is hurt if I am betrayed. Maybe it's the ego. I don't see why, though. I believe trust has a lot to do with feeling helpless. By trusting someone one surrenders themselves without having guarantees of how that particular person is going to act. In that case if one gets betrayed I wonder if it's the feeling of helplessness that bothers them.

 

I'm a bit too tired to write more right now. Thanks for reading through it.

Posts: 323
Trust

Why trust a stranger on a forum like this one? ;) You could be a serial killer or a stalker!

Posts: 605
Trust

Valeo.

Posts: 417
Trust

I was just meaning to mention this forum in the passing. Most of it was generally speaking. :)

 

Now that you brought it up I don't see why trusting on this forum is so hard.

Posts: 417
Trust

thanks for the reply, do you want to share? Ill promise to reply properly later on when I have more time

Posts: 7645
Trust

 

by Legga

Kindness is interpreted as stupidity, weakness or deceit.

 That's because it usually is. Kindness is easy to manipulate and exploit, and it can be used to deceive others.

Posts: 262
Trust

i think that it makes perfect sense why no-one would trust anyone else on here. 

if i lie and cheat daily, then i'm going to assume that everyone else does as well. you are honest and trusting, so you expect everyone else to be too. it's all subjective, biased, and humans project, so there you go. :)

Posts: 323
Trust

Oh? Who betrayed you? Gossip!

Posts: 323
Trust

Well... were all anons here... Most of us anyway. :) And you changed your name. I don't trust users who change names lol ;) Not everyone's as honest as I am.

Posts: 7645
Trust

 

by blabla011

i think that it makes perfect sense why no-one would trust anyone else on here. 

if i lie and cheat daily, then i'm going to assume that everyone else does as well.

That's exactly why I have trust issues. I know what I'm capable of. If I can do it (lie, cheat, steal etc), then so could anybody else.

10 / 90 posts
This site contains NSFW material. To view and use this site, you must be 18+ years of age.