Yeah, my family has been quite lucky for my step father...
And yes, in retrospect I suppose she could have been viewed as narcisistic... She did have attention seeking habits... then again... everyone does... but I suppose it was one her least obvious symptoms...
Btw, many people have schizophrenic like experiences when they're high... doesn't mean they're schizophrenic...
by thesugardudei'm curious whether you'd want to have children after everything you've experienced
I know you both got shit in common, but this forum is no place to look for a Sugar Daddy (sorry, I had to). If you're looking to boost your social security benefits, you should try www.skanksandpimps.com. I'm sure you will find more eligible gentlemen folk over there.
yes, and you should visit www.amazon.com. there are a wide range of products and it's one of the most frequented sites on the web.
Hi Daddy
1. I am impressed you can say this after you had a brother kill himself. Seriously. You are tougher than I thought.
2. As a matter of fact, I did plan to go on a hunger strike against political corruption I didn't expect to survive.
You are welcome to cheer me on, as my other friends were horrified I would really go through with it.
The issue is to save a national historic site for Veterans. Since you are in the Military, that would be fitting.
Thanks for the vote of support. If I can pull off this stunt, I will give credit to you for being the first to endorse it.
And Ukandle the second.
Sorry Silkthread I will delete my long msgs from here so I don't junk up your thread. Thanks, Emily
No worries, Silk. Her number is posted on many sites. It's like the "9-1-1" helpline for people like your sister that no one else can help. She's practically brought people "back from the dead" in cases even worse.
I will delete my long msgs off here because I am getting too many complaints. Thanks for being nice about that!
Ah.... I'm sorry for not replying sooner, Silkthread. I've had some things to deal with. I'm also sorry for questioning you earlier, I was hurt.
I hope your sister gets better.
First of all in case you're blaming yourself, you shouldn't. I won't pretend to understand everything you might have gone through but I have also had to deal with a person who was impossible to handle. It's just hard to imagine dealing with someone sucking the life force out since as far back as childhood. One-sided relationships seem to work that way. The person repeating the same loop over and over like a broken record won't help things, either.
I'm trying to imagine how I'd be if my own sister was that way. Unlike with my mother I'm on ok terms with my sister. I see her maybe once a year or so although I can't say I'm always that happy about it. If she needed help and didn't have anyone else to look after her I'm not sure what I'd do. I'd probably help her out like you did out of some sense of obligation, but I can't imagine doing it forever. If she died, though, I would feel a part of me was gone as well.
I don't want to dig too deep if the subject is sensitive but I still might, accidentally, so bear with me. Also despite your sister being in hospital I would like to give you my honest opinion and I hope you can appreciate that. I don't know your sister so I won't be able to give anything beyond that. You say you've become apatethic to your sister's needs. I understand there are people who simply won't listen to anything, and borderlines are difficult to deal with as they enjoy feeling sorry for themselves.
Did she ever have anyone else to talk to? A professional? If her problems stem from home then I imagine you are likely to understand her problems and as such in a way I can understand why she would confide in you. I'm not implying you are responsible for dealing with her problems, though. I don't think you are.
You say you've closed your sister off. That makes me wonder about whether things used to be different between you two. She must have had her moments, like all siblings do. I know what it feels like helping someone out out of habit. I also know how it feels like getting paid back nothing in return -- despite your best efforts. I imagine it must be hard to deal with a person whose personality changes constantly depending on the trigger.
Self-loathing is also hard to deal with. People always need to be convinced they're good in the inside, that they somehow amount to something just by being who they are. If a person is never loved they will never learn that. It seems to be quite common among children with insensitive parents or parents with overly high expectations.
I've never had to deal with a person suffering from BPD. You describe it as being with a stranger. I think I can understand when you say you felt like the little sister. If that was the first time in a long while she tried to help you out of her own volition (out of her character as she may have been), then I wonder how you felt about it.
I would personally probably be angry if my sister started talking to me about forgiving my mother, especially since she was always treated better. I can sense you weren't too happy with what your sister said either. I'm just wondering how much you two talk about your parents. I personally haven't talked to my sister about my mother in a long time -- the last time was when I was kicked out. I think it might be better that way.
I understand the futility of trying to tell someone to keep still or try to reason with an impossible person. I mentioned I used to know someone like that, and I tried every way possible to get through to that person but it was impossible. Nothing I said registered. There was always some unbelievable reasoning that always linked to the person's misery.
It was interesting to read through your story. Take your time, I'll read your next post once you have it ready.
Firstly, I'm not sure what you mean by you questioning me, or that you were hurt?
Secondly, my sister has DID, not just BPD. So when I said she felt like a stranger, the DID was what I was talking about, just to clarify. I would love to know more about your situation with your mother and sister. Especially would love to know how it was that your sister got better treatment than you. I'm used to it always being the reverse with mothers.
Thank you for taking the time to write your thoughts out. I prefer not to go into a long drawn out history between me and my own sister on here. Would like to just continue writing from where I started. The point once I am finished will not be about the frustrations of dealing with her, so I'd prefer not to make that the main focus either.
I would ask you to email if you would like to talk to me about your own history... but for present, I feel it may have been a mistake for me to let a few people from here into some intimate corner with me. I don't like feeling I have to live up to people's personal expectations of me, least of all on a damn sociopath blog, once we get all private and shit. :D So I'll leave it to you to decide whether you would like to share here... I would really like that. Thanks again for sharing.