Sociopath Community

See a fucking doctor, get some anti-depressants and quit trying to justify your depression by calling yourself a natural loner when you're clearly not one.

by Thrill Kill

 

by BELIAL

I never said I wanted friends, I said I tried gaining them to see whether or not it would help my mood, but it didn't.

I said quite specifically that having them didn't change my mood.

 Of course it didn't change your mood. Your deeply depressed. You likely need anti-depressants to change it.

 

I'm a natural loner because I do not require human connection and I can't connect to others. It was just an experiment, that's all.

Natural loners don't experiment by seeking friends to see if that will make them feel better...

It's kind of like not having the urge to exercise but doing it anyway because it's the logical thing because it keeps you healthy. And I discovered that working out does actually help me with my depression. So that's something I didn't expect to discover, but did due to making an effort despite not wanting to.

This experiment took place 7+ years ago when I was a teenager.

Like working out, I didn't have the urge to do it, but I thought I should try it to see if there was something to gain. I tend to try and do the logical thing not the thing that feels right, and I decided that, despite not wanting to, that socialising might help with my depression, and maybe fill the empty spot. But it didn't.

And it was at this time that I pretty much accepted fully that I could not connect with others. I could sometime enjoy interaction with others, but I couldn't establish a connection, and being around other people mostly just annoys me or makes me feel more depressed.

And being a teen at the time I was still young and quite rough around the edges, and almost let a few impulses get the better of me in public places with others around. I've already told you about the time with the guy and his dog, but there wasn't anyone around to see so no harm done.

So I decided that I am a natural loner and being alone for most of my time is probably the best choice as I am not suited to socialising. I can enjoy interacting on certain occasions in 1v1 situations, but that's it really.

Dear Belial Thanks for bringing up a critical issue to address. There are obviously more angles on it than the one you intended. None of these should be overlooked Or compete with each other. 

Someone brought up depression issues on Eyes thread (is this forum a joke).  he asked about regretting not feeling feelings for ppl he would like to just to.know how it feels.

There is a differnce between circumstances making someone depressed and chemical or clinical depression that is chronic.

So this brought up everything at once.

All I know for me is to forgive when depression hits and i cant get jack done. And not be afraid or dread that hitting. But commit to focus on activities I can get done or can be done better while I am going through a bad spell. Some things requiring sitting still and numbing out the mind.

For chronic issues of energy imbalances in the mind/spirit, i recommend spiritual healing. Every person is different, so I really couldn't compare all these different experiences with depression.

Thanks for a good post! please check with eyesbehindshades if this is related. 

for the last time, m.e. is not an expert on sociopathy, she even states such in her book. she's simply been diagnosed as one, your seeing her as an expert on the subject... thats like saying a monkey that eats its own shit is an expert on monkeys... ofcourse sociopaths feel negative emotions... god what is with all the stupid people??? does anyone actually think for themselves? for fucks sake its morons like you that give satanism a bad name...

by Daddy

for the last time, m.e. is not an expert on sociopathy, she even states such in her book. she's simply been diagnosed as one, your seeing her as an expert on the subject... thats like saying a monkey that eats its own shit is an expert on monkeys... ofcourse sociopaths feel negative emotions... god what is with all the stupid people??? does anyone actually think for themselves? for fucks sake its morons like you that give satanism a bad name...

 I never claimed she was nor made her out to be the fountain of knowledge.

I just stated in her book she claimed Sociopath's are immune to depression and negative emotions, and it's not the first time I've heard someone say that either.

I've also noticed a few traits commonly stated that are sociopathic traits that I don't see in myself.

P.S. Calm down bro. Mmmkay?

You keep claiming to be a natural loner, but it seems to me that being a loner (not being able to socialize properly) is what's causing your depression.

I can tell you with absolute certainty, as a natural loner myself and as someone who has never connected with anyone, let alone my own mother, that if you were a natural loner, seeking friends to make yourself feel better is the last thing you'd want.

Me, personally, I want my own private island so that I can actually get some alone time.

by Daddy

for the last time, m.e. is not an expert on sociopathy, she even states such in her book. she's simply been diagnosed as one

 I think she lied about having been diagnosed as one. She's made certain statements that don't even relate to sociopathy. She just needed to claim she was diagnosed to validate her book.

by Thrill Kill

You keep claiming to be a natural loner, but it seems to me that being a loner (not being able to socialize properly) is what's causing your depression.

I can tell you with absolute certainty, as a natural loner myself and as someone who has never connected with anyone, let alone my own mother, that if you were a natural loner, seeking friends to make yourself feel better is the last thing you'd want.

Me, personally, I want my own private island so that I can actually get some alone time.

Seeking friends WAS the last thing I wanted, but seeking friends and socialising wasn't something I attempted to do before.

Most natural loners will have discovered that they are natural loners through years of having to socialise and have friends during early school years because you don't really know much about being an individual when you're a little kid, you do what your told and do what's normal as it's the only thing you know until you're old enough to start making your own decisions and become an individual, and explore your mind and feelings properly.

But I was never encouraged to make friends and I was never accepted by groups or anyone really. I remember dreading a school day and having to talk to teachers and pupils, and just wanted to go home. I made myself as anonymous as possible.

So I decided to do the opposite for once to see if It would make me feel any different, but if anything it made me feel a bit worse due to the fact that I wasted time doing that shit, when I could have been watching porn, reading a book or playing xbox.

 I felt somewhat like this as a child. I saw no reason to live and always felt bored. No matter what happened to me I never felt "full". By full I mean I always felt empty, and experienced emotions for a couple of seconds, literally. Something good could have happened, and i would still be bored and unhappy. My parents began to notice as i aged, and sent me to various psychiatrists/psychologists, a futile attempt to "cleanse" me. Even as I child I essentially trusted no one, so lied to the doctors. I also was never interested in school, and did poorly. My parents both in "mental" professions insisted on having me tested. I took 3 IQ tests and various personality tests, along with inkblot tests. I scored very high on IQ tests, however, the results were different by 10+ points every time. I assume the results differed because they were taken at different times, and were given by different psychologists. With all the tests done, no one could really decide what "problem" I had. Some thought autism,PTSD,ADHD, bipolar. My parents disagreed with these judgments, as did other professionals. My parents considered doing a brain scan but could not afford to. I think all these tests had a "negative" effect on me, as I had to constantly manipulate and lie. Most of the professionals assumed I was just a timid and lazy. As i grew into my teenage years "things changed". It seemed problematic that i enjoyed solitude and had no desire to socialize. My parents and professionals started to realize that i was highly manipulative and treacherous. I did not think at the time that i needed to have a constant mask to blend in. My parents and some family members saw the part of the real me. They thought it was just a stage that all teenagers go through. One of my greatest flaws is that i sometimes want people to see the "monster " inside me, I dont know why. I would manipulate almost everyone to get what i need, with no remorse or consideration. In fact emotional people sickened me at times. I would say I began losing most of my emotions, at age 12. This put me at an advantage as i was able to understand how others felt. I was always very insightful, and could gain peoples trust easily. I felt somewhat depression during my teenage years until around age 15.I didnt really feel lonely just bored, and was upset that I could never have a real friend. In high school I did not meet anyone who was like me, or even similar. After years of isolation, i lost interest in attempting to make friends or having a relationship, which is why i have no desire for sex. As a teenager i thought a relationship with someone i truly related to would cause me to feel something, in a way salvation. I actually even tried but quickly lost interest. I was very good with girls( yes i am a male) and could attract their attention. There was no girls in my school who i found similar to me, so i gave up. Along with being cold and calculating, and my true desire being destroyed by myself, I became even more ruthless and manipulative. Looking back i assume my attempt to have a relationship was just a test of my abilities, or maybe thats a way to cover my attempt to be human. Earlier by salvation i meant joy, not changing who i was, as i saw emotions as human weakness. Joy and maybe some convoluted form of love is something i desired, but never found. I believe my partner would have to be very similar to me and have my moral compass. This is rather improbable as most sociopaths or what ever i am do not have a moral compass. By moral compass i mean would show me genuine loyalty, and i would return the favor. I have no morals and dont feel remorse ever, but i might feel it if i met someone like me, only to that person however. In regards to your depression and lonely question, no i cannot relate. My "soul" was destroyed long ago and i have no desire for any social interaction, unless it is with people like me. I believe if i do socialize it is only to gain something. As for depression, I do not feel any emotions. I have no desires, love, remorse, and fear. I fear nothing and essentially do not care about anything, my life included. Im not suicidal as i will let nature take its course, no reason to end my life. Any good or bad events do not effect me in any way. Even though i enjoy nothing and fear nothing i still continue to carry out essential functions. I manipulate people to get what i want at the time, nut in the end of the day dont really desire anything. I said i dont feel any desires because if i want something, it something very simple or pleasure related. Pleasure is the only ...... I ......I dont know if it is an emotion but i know pleasure is pleasure. This may be very contradicting to what i said earlier because it is very difficult to explain who i am, and obviously will only give a glimpse of the real me. What i said here was 100% truth, i dont care if you believe me. I just want to know if anyone is similar, and potentially have an intelligent discussion that would be of meaning to me. In conclusion i am an empty, emotionless, twisted, manipulative, sadistic, lying, and dangerous person. I believe i was made into who i am, and would never choose a different life. I exist because I exist, there is no meaning in life, so why not just have as much pleasure as possible, in any form.......

Most natural loners will have discovered that they are natural loners through years of having to socialise and have friends during early school years because you don't really know much about being an individual when you're a little kid, you do what your told and do what's normal as it's the only thing you know until you're old enough to start making your own decision and becoming an individual.

That may be true for most, but when I was little, I never had much interest in socializing with other kids. I liked spending time on my own. I never cared whether or not I made friends.

But I was never encouraged to make friends and I was never accepted by groups or anyone really. I remember dreading a school day and having to talk to teachers and pupils, and just wanted to go home.

That's why you're depressed, because you've been rejected all of your life by other people. If you could make friends easily, I bet you wouldn't be a loner at all.