Well ... actually, from what you wrote, it looks like ignoring him wasn't effective at all. Quite the opposite actually, if he continued to harass you!
I'm wondering if maybe it's just the type of people they are. Do you tend to date people who are particularly insecure or able to be manipulated because you prefer it over having relationships with people who are less vulnerable?
It was effective because it was only after I started ignoring him that he finally gave up and left.
Insecure people generally don't interest me. I prefer confident, self-assured people who are willing to challenge my dominance at times, because I enjoy competition.
Insecure people usually have a lot of issues and I don't have the patience or tolerance for that. With that said, I don't think my ex was insecure. He was just upset that I dumped him the way I did and got his heart broken.
There are concequences to our actions. You must pay attention to and learn to predict the 2nd and 3rd order of effects.
This is a common byproduct of seduction. Dependance is a sign of VERY strong bonding and is quite normal when developing deep relationships we people, something that is facilitated through the bonding hormone oxytocin and re-inforced through the flooding of dopamine in the brain during sex... it is literally like an addiction, that is associated with you. Thus the common sentiment: "I feel addicted to you".
There are other methods of seduction that do not include the bonding phase, not getting to know the person and humanizing them will lead to a more of a one night stand sort of deal, where as intimate conversation leads to pair bonding.
If you insist on the initimate conversation to form a bond, you must learn to adopt an i don't give a fuck about you additude, which can be very emotionally damaging and bring potentially severe backlashings... In other cases you can simply lower your percieved value to that person, by becoming something they pity or detest... chase them, and flood them with affection and make them withdraw... afford them every opportunity to find a "better" option that isn't you... this is a win-win situation and usually has the best outcome for both parties... ofcourse this requires a good bit of ego suspension and patience...
My best advice is, don't bond with people if you don't like icky emotions... if someone feels "led on" then you probably did lead them on. maybe you shouldn't do that... and if you must, then learn to deal with the consequences... for women I've seen girls who adopt a "bitch" persona tend to handle this quite easily... it is similar to the "dick" mentality in men.
I just realised you're a woman... so most of what I wrote probably isn't applicable...
You simply need to realise you are a sexual object, you get what you want because you have what all guys crave, a vagina... just use the V-power... adopt a bitch additude... and problem solved.
Ya, I am a woman. Which is why it's more scary/threatening than just "annoying" because I don't necessarily have the physical strength to overpower a guy, espcially if he's taller than me. So when a guy does go a crazy, I think the possibility is there for a guy to harass me or become violent. Or if I'm flirting with him, he might see that as an invitation to grope me or something. Are you saying that if I make a guy like me, but I'm a "bitch", that guys WON'T do that?
Would you be willing to give a basic case study on the typical infatuated person?
I've known some who complained about this, but it was because they hung around with mostly unpopular geeky types, the sort who begin to fantasize the minute they realize "Holy shit she's talking to me!"
No! I don't! I don't even interact with them long. My classmate just happened to be friends wtih this guy. I met another crazy guy at college at "speed dating". There was another guy who hit on me in the bookstore and seemed OK until I gave him my phone number and he texted me at every point of the day asking me what I was doing and how I was. I don't actively seek these people out or anything. And it's not like I think we have anything in common.