"Don't you ever wish you could skip all the bullshit conversation, just grab someone and fuck them?"
That depends if the conversation really is bullshit. I like gauging people's responses to the things I say. Knowing their preferences in advance can make for less guess work.
"Believe me, I've had plenty of human experience. More than enough as far as I'm concerned."
Just because you were present doesn't mean you experienced it (speaking from my own experiences as an insomniac anyway).
"Do you honestly think that how I present myself among a bunch of people I care nothing about on an online forum, where what I say won't impact my personal life, is exactly how I talk to people off the net when socializing? Seriously?"
There's bound to be some similarities.
"Of course, it's my furniture's fault I'm bored..."
I mean not everyone can be as lucky as Peewee: