Sociopath Community

 I've been called a pompous windbag here.  Lycan says I'm sneaky.  That's about all I can say about myself, for certain.

It only becomes over analysis once you start seeing things that aren't really there as a result of it.

At least that's the idea I practice.

 You sound like a borderline.

"A 12-year-old awkward child"

That's close enough with regards to my emotional development.

"a wealthy and suave middle-aged hetero man"

You're getting close.

"a younger gay man"

Male sexuality is yucky. I'm simply a lesbian who sports a dick for the ladies' and the self-entertainment.

"and a single mother of some nonexistent orphan all at once"

All the fools are my children. But I'm more paternal, rather than maternal.

And the orphan is humanity as I perceive it.

 .

Since I was a child I would climb cherry trees in my parents' orchard and gorge myself on the fresh ones.

Not much has changed since then (except I look for the worms and obvious signs of guano residue these days).

I'm 34 and stil climbing cherry trees to get the sensation.

Processed shit belongs in the mouths of people who can not appreciate, or are unable to find the natural sensitivity of ones' own palette.

I can make it a... sensate experience.

Intimate knowledge of the female anatomy and the ability to appreciate its in's and out's is my delight.

 I hear and see what people don't say when they talk. I see what they don't intend to express when they write or text. 

Just like in art, to be truly effective, it is important to notice the abstract, to notice what is absent.  If someone paints this mysterious portrait for a price, they just might notice what is missing. 

Perhaps I paint that portrait.

"I can make it a... sensate experience."

I mean that's most of it isn't it?

 I didn't even think some questions would get asked...so, no I do not work with children at all. As for the mom "issue," there was no abuse of any variety there. Maybe I should state that this is a recent loss, so I am sure grief plays a strong role in how I feel right now and why it looks like there is "something" there. I clearly did feel a need to bring it up and I did.

Um...was there a question of why I felt I needed to manipulate people, or something kinda similar? I don't actually think I need to, I just do. It gets results. The results benefit me, but I don't think anything has caused a major disruption for those involved, but have to admit...I don't know. I cant say I care though. I might, but really, no. I wouldn't say it is a thrill at all. I see it as necessary. I feel like it generally occurs because I sense that my time/space/person is being attacked/invaded...and absolutely that I need a break and no one will just back off, so...I manipulate, or let's just call it lying b/c I do lie to get my way. I cant say I see it as justifiable revenge or something I am entitled to...its just a reaction. I may put thought (I do put thought) into getting my way, but there is no thought to my reaction...not that I could point out right now.

Like others have mentioned, I also prefer to be left alone and tend to get very anxious and then angry when that does not happen. I'm older now, so I manage that reaction better, but like I said, I do still lie/manipulate, so I wouldn't say I am evolved or whatever...a better person.

And, I don't see what I do as something bad at all. I do not feel guilt about it. I am aware that I somehow should be, or not do it at all...but, really?

let me go back and see what other posts there are and see what else I can talk about with regards to me.