Disturbing, as in very bad!
i love it. even you don't think you're trustworthy..right now, as i read your post, i don't find you trustworthy.
i think you're describing it pretty well nonetheless. it's when i become the observer that i am no longer fully in control and perhaps dangerous, and someone who maybe doesn't know all the facts and doesn't have as much empathy as i usually do, is dealing with it.