Sintetika said:TC thinks I'm part of a cult
Not quite.
I was saying how you were handling it was cult-like. Your zeal typically sounds a bit blind.
You haven't written a manifesto yet. It needs to be done. It's common courtesy. Post it on the forum too so we can help meme it up for the whole world to see, when you do decide to go through with it all!
Why would I write a manifesto though? I'm not becoming a mass shooter. I don't want to shoot up a bunch of people then kill myself, I mean, I might write in a book about my life and views, but if I ever decide to publish it myself or if it's ever found is something I haven't considered yet. I don't want to post a detailed version of everything on here. It's a double edged sword for me, this place is a place for me to ramble my thoughts at times, but I also have to limit it as it can be detrimental to me.
I have a basic path I'm going down, that will open different choices for me to make. Do I stick with my comrade, and achieve the "task" or do I leave him and do my own thing. Any choice I make will inevitably lead to attempting to achieve my goals one way or another.
TC thinks I'm part of a cult, even though I'm only working with a guy I put my trust into. I've considered leaving that group and doing my own thing. Regardless, I still have a vision I'd like to achieve and that is the destiny and meaning I have created for myself. If I ever achieve it, maybe I'll turn purple, sit in a chair on a porch to a house built by myself, living off a farm created by me, smiling at the world I've created.I think its less of a cult and more edgy organization more concerned with romanticizing a revolution instead of actualizing one.
What is the world you wish to create? What is the actual vision? If you cannot answer that question beyond 'marxism', 'paths are offering different choices', or 'I do share views with such and such' then you have no idea what you actually believe nor hold a vision. And, as consequence, hold no real guiding principal for make choices that aid in that vision.
Speak of the future you see.
I would agree with your assessment, however the group itself is really dead, and silent and small. It's just there, the only person doing stuff is my leader, who I have contact with and he's the one who gave me my task.
Aren't you literally doing what your master tells you to do?
I don't think it's entirely romanticizing, we have goals, at least if he's actually doing what he says he doing. Though, I would admit I have doubts about the success of what we're doing would be. That's why I've considered my own path.
It has you joining the military when you don't even believe in what they'd be training you up for.
When I speak of "different paths" I mean different actions to take that would lead me to one of those two goals. Perhaps rather than work with x group, I find y group to work with, or alternatively, I start my own group attempt to prepare for economic collapse and be trained and ready to rise up. All of these different choices, of course would stem from me entering the military to gain practical knowledge and combat training.
Or you could just live life as it is.
Why change things?
I don't go in depth with these plans because why would I openly speak about the details of what I plan to do? I feel like that would FUCK me OVER.
It'd just have us going at length about how you're under the wrong impressions and follow bad ideas.
If there's any reason to not talk to us about it, it is to preserve the sanctity of your thoughts instead of letting us critique them and mill them into the ground.
I suspect your ideas are worse than what you've already told us (me), and that the only thing really guarding said bad ideas from proper appraisal is your "secrecy".
I've also found it odd that in general you seem to not want to contribute towards topics where you'd be critiquing someone or otherwise insulting them (unless they're a pedophile).
You go into such topics asking for someone to critique you, but with how little you know about people here it makes your self-directing almost identical to BR (other than how BR notices other people more than you do, as someone who questions if he's narcissistic).
You won't spend much time learning who other people are, yet you want this seemingly unknown group to be telling you what's wrong with your ideas and life? This makes it seem to me like you already see problems with your paths, but can't put your finger on what they are.
Turncoat said:Aren't you literally doing what your master tells you to do?
Because I'm following a task?
Turncoat said:It has you joining the military when you don't even believe in what they'd be training you up for.
If "by they you mean my leader. I'd still enter the military for the combat training and practical knowledge. If by they you mean the goals of the military itself. Military knowledge is still useful, so is Combat Training.
Turncoat said:Or you could just live life as it is.
Why change things?
Because I believe in a better future for humanity, and modern day society disgusts me. Why have views at all? Why have morality at all? That's how I view your question.
Turncoat said:It'd just have us going at length about how you're under the wrong impressions and follow bad ideas.
If there's any reason to not talk to us about it, it is to preserve the sanctity of your thoughts instead of letting us critique them and mill them into the ground.
I suspect your ideas are worse than what you've already told us (me), and that the only thing really guarding said bad ideas from proper appraisal is your "secrecy".
Why should I have to tell you though? Why should I trust the people on a site called "sociopathcommunity.com" There's only one person on this forum I trust the most and have told the most. They have been critiquing me about some things, and I'm trying to become better. I don't feel comfortable telling the details of the "task" given to me. You could call it dumb. I'm trying to be as meticulous and self-critical as possible. I don't think I'm invincible or that I'd even entirely succeed. I'm trying to be as careful as possible, I'm trying to think it through as much as possible, but I can't see any other way that doesn't involve me attempting to achieve my goals and vision in life.
Turncoat said:I've also found it odd that in general you seem to not want to contribute towards topics where you'd be critiquing someone or otherwise insulting them (unless they're a pedophile).
Most topics here criticizing others do not pertain to anything I find relevant. I'll post sometimes as a joke but I don't deeply care about some of the drama that goes on here.
Turncoat said:You go into such topics asking for someone to critique you, but with how little you know about people here it makes your self-directing almost identical to BR (other than how BR notices other people more than you do, as someone who questions if he's narcissistic).
Considering I do on some level respect some of the insight, I try to adapt, others I just can't entirely take your word for it. I don't view myself as narcissistic.
Turncoat said:ou won't spend much time learning who other people are, yet you want this seemingly unknown group to be telling you what's wrong with your ideas and life? This makes it seem to me like you already see problems with your paths, but can't put your finger on what they are.
I already know there are some problems, I'm trying to be as careful as possible. I don't want you to tell me what's wrong with my life or ideas. I made this thread for people to roast/criticize me if anything, that's what we're doing now, yes? We can end it here if you want, I don't need people to criticize me to feel alive or feel loved, or feel attention. I just wanted to see some criticism. One person so far on here has been helping me as I mentioned in the post above.
Turncoat said:Aren't you literally doing what your master tells you to do?Because I'm following a task?
It's more about how you do.
Turncoat said:It has you joining the military when you don't even believe in what they'd be training you up for.If "by they you mean my leader. I'd still enter the military for the combat training and practical knowledge. If by they you mean the goals of the military itself. Military knowledge is still useful, so is Combat Training.
You don't need to enlist to get combat training, technically.
This is you wanting quick answers towards "a productive future" and "getting away from the family and the past". It's escapism under the guise of productivity, but you seem to only see it as doable if you jump in it head first like diving into a pool.
You aren't self-motivated it seems, so you instead look for people or a framework to do the organizing for you.
Turncoat said:Or you could just live life as it is.
Why change things?Because I believe in a better future for humanity, and modern day society disgusts me. Why have views at all? Why have morality at all? That's how I view your question.
You can have morality and views without thinking that the world's only worth living in if you change it towards what you prefer.
Yours sounds like a control freak issue that you're externalizing towards "Society". Your default emotion seems to be "Distaste", and you use it to justify a surprising number of things.
Turncoat said:It'd just have us going at length about how you're under the wrong impressions and follow bad ideas.
If there's any reason to not talk to us about it, it is to preserve the sanctity of your thoughts instead of letting us critique them and mill them into the ground.
I suspect your ideas are worse than what you've already told us (me), and that the only thing really guarding said bad ideas from proper appraisal is your "secrecy".Why should I have to tell you though? Why should I trust the people on a site called "sociopathcommunity.com"
You chose this site to be your platform, and seem to otherwise be stuck between "I can't let these people know the real me" and "I need people to tell me about myself for it to be 'relevant to my interests' ".
I don't feel comfortable telling the details of the "task" given to me.
You could call it dumb.
Of course not, because then we'd be able to deconstruct it and have you feel 'dumb' about putting so much investment into it. When we start going that way as is you start going a wee bit emotionally unstable.
Basically, you tard out when people critique your life, so you're afraid to share that with us out of seeing that as "risky".
I'm trying to be as meticulous and self-critical as possible.
I think you need to get the stick out of your ass for about five minutes and take some deep breaths in a nearby panic tent.
Turncoat said:I've also found it odd that in general you seem to not want to contribute towards topics where you'd be critiquing someone or otherwise insulting them (unless they're a pedophile).Most topics here criticizing others do not pertain to anything I find relevant. I'll post sometimes as a joke but I don't deeply care about some of the drama that goes on here.
How much would you say you've tried caring about more than yourself and pedophilia on here?
You seem like someone who only knows how to self-direct when it's not about externalizing problems onto your surroundings, at least for your more public face.
Turncoat said:You go into such topics asking for someone to critique you, but with how little you know about people here it makes your self-directing almost identical to BR (other than how BR notices other people more than you do, as someone who questions if he's narcissistic).Considering I do on some level respect some of the insight, I try to adapt, others I just can't entirely take your word for it. I don't view myself as narcissistic.
I didn't say you were, I was just using him as a relative example.
I'll give you the same advice I gave him: Make it about other people on here instead of self-directing so much. To walk around saying the only things you care about are purely about yourself doesn't really open as many doors when it comes to other people.
Turncoat said:You won't spend much time learning who other people are, yet you want this seemingly unknown group to be telling you what's wrong with your ideas and life? This makes it seem to me like you already see problems with your paths, but can't put your finger on what they are.I already know there are some problems, I'm trying to be as careful as possible.
What problems though? This is kinda general.
I don't want you to tell me what's wrong with my life or ideas. I made this thread for people to roast/criticize me if anything, that's what we're doing now, yes?
Your life and ideas is a big part of you, as your rambles and constant self-direction keep repeating to us.
We can end it here if you want, I don't need people to criticize me to feel alive or feel loved, or feel attention. I just wanted to see some criticism.
You're talking like you want to shut it down now.
I don't think you know what you want beyond wanting all the spotlight to be on you while you hide in a theatrical cloak. You want us to see you, but you also keep insisting that you can't show us. You see how that's kinda like chasing your own tail, right?
One person so far on here has been helping me as I mentioned in the post above.
It's more than one person, it's just that only one of them is working in a way that you recognize and enjoy.
Almost willing to bet it's a woman helping you, too. Your idea of what is and isn't helpful is likely less about results and more about feelings.
I don't need a theatrical spotlight, I don't need attention, we'll stop right here wit that stuff. I won't ramble about this stuff anymore. This isn't productive. Call it escapism. It can be considered such. I'd go into the military either way, and to an extent you're correct I'm not entirely structured, it's something I want though. Yea, I made the impulsive decision to drop out of my college and go into the military, but I've considered this thing. What if? Just maybe perhaps? Right? I go into the military and also do college? It's something that I've considered as a really stable option for me. I would like to major in one of the three following, but still try to focus on all three of said topics. Political Science, Philosophy, and Psychology, while also going into the Military.
I won't ask for criticism or seek attention anymore. I can't go into my task because it's confidential. I regret speaking on it in the first place. I don't need to do this, I'm better than this, I'll plan carefully and attempt to take everything into consideration, and if I have a problem, I'll consult some of my friends that do know what I'm doing. Thank you TC. I do agree with your points. Especially in regards to chasing my own tail.
Turncoat said:How much would you say you've tried caring about more than yourself and pedophilia on here?
In regards to this, I find it hard to care for problems that I can't help but view as redundant, I have attempted for example I conversed with Blanc, Lena, Pale, and Alice, as well as Trypt at times, but even then, I confess that when I say I care about Blanc's problems and wish I could help her, it's more of an empty statement. If Lena is dead, I'll move on with life as if nothing happened. I used to care about people a lot so much so that I bottled up my own pain until enough mental breakdowns molded me into whatever I am now.
I wouldn't say I'm entirely superior to other people though, I just have a different outlook on life, and I can't see myself living like that without going against my code.
