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Posts: 517
0 votes RE: An Unidentifiable Emotion

 The six month mark is a tough one.

Posts: 33529
0 votes RE: An Unidentifiable Emotion
Lena said: 

Wait they decapitated the guinea pig 

The neighbors? 

Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
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0 votes RE: An Unidentifiable Emotion
BohemianRhapsody said:
It is not sadness or grief and comes once those emotions have passed and can be best described as disassociative yet liberating.

Narc wounding giving an elating form of numbness. 

It's super dangerous to ride that high. 

 TC can you give a more detailed analysis of all I have detailed here? I need answers.

People, but Narcissists especially, live in a construct ideal that nothing will ever go wrong even if they are logically worrying about it. When things do go wrong past an acceptable threshold, an odd compensatory feeling of either invincibility, lust, or vengeance can kick in based on the person's personality style. 

For myself at least, when hit hard enough irl, I can find myself shutting down my fear centers and acting very unlike myself, such as cussing out cops, running head first into traffic, and riding motorcycles. I find this state of mind to be dangerous, and when I see it in others I can't help but worry. 


I take it based on who you are there's a story attached to this fear/confusion of yours? 

 My fall 2018 sc novel spree came due to this feelinq following my ex Sofia ghosting me. While me and D are having issues largely due to my behavhor, I am resisting  the lure of this druglike feeling for her. Sadly she is staying at my moms to take a break from me but we still see eachother. We back in ohio btw, near your area. We should meet.

 u sound like a real cunt

Posts: 678
0 votes RE: An Unidentifiable Emotion
Lena said: 

Wait they decapitated the guinea pig 

The neighbors? 

 Ya

Posts: 2278
0 votes RE: An Unidentifiable Emotion
Xadem said: 

Are you still taking high doses of amphetamines on a regular basis BR? 

 Not for 2 months and it never was a high dose.

My grandiose delusions are better than yours.
Posts: 9465
0 votes RE: An Unidentifiable Emotion

In this post I will address a feeling I often experience in response to loss,  a feeling that a loss is coming, or the abscense of a partner (even if temporary). It is not sadness or grief and comes once those emotions have passed and can be best described as disassociative yet liberating. This feeling coincides with a continuation of "lone wolf" activities that were halted during the relations with the person who is no longer around and the longer I feel it the more the grief fades and I become consumed by my pasttimes. It is a warm and numbing rush; empty yet so distinctly an emotion. Along with it, I start to feel arrogant and powerful and beyond reproach. The odd emotion begins to consume me as I totally detach from the person I lost. The power I percieve fuels social charisma until someone new comes along. And arrogant me, whom feels empowered and has drowned out the memory of my past mistakes decides to begin a relationship. Then the numb, empty, warm, confident, and powerful feeling fades to something more familiar: love.

Until the next loss. that is.

What is this odd emotion I have described?

 Nostalgia, mixed with withdrawal. AKA, lack of dopamine. 

You seek out your next high, and it is simultaneously a coping mechanism (seeking the new partner) 

This is perfectly natural. 

 

Compensatory ego, as a coping mechanism. There is narcissism, and then there is covert narcissism as a cope. 

 

This is all just how you handle loss, a repeated pattern. 

 

Stages: Sadness, Grief, Nostalgia, covert narcissism and ego stroking, seeking romantic bonds, the bond breaks.

The cycle repeats. 

 

You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself for going through something very normal. It’s not the most healthy way to go about things if you ask me- but this is learned over time typically with maturity. You can start to form healthier habits and responses to loss aka break ups, and break the cycle/pattern by doing a bit of self discovery and personal work. Introspection. Healing. Rewiring. Enforcing new habits. But you have to have a desire to do so, or a realization to do so- or it won’t likely work. As it requires adamant, deliberate practice to change ones own mind and responses to things- especially when switching from unhealthy to healthier. 

 

but grant yourself some slack, you’re young. It’s a process, we all go through differently. It’s not what happens to us that matters, as much as it is how we respond to it that shapes us. But getting stressed about it isn’t going to do much good, so have patience with yourself and forgive yourself for maybe acting in ways you don’t yet fully even understand. 

 

Maybe begin though by asking yourself, why do I respond this way. 

 

Interestingly enough you’re already on the path to “introspection, healing, rewiring” as I mentioned because you are doing the first step there is in introspection, or- in the official processes those who practice DBT (dialectal behavior therapy) use- in order to approach, changing their mind and their behaviors. Which is- identifying, your emotions. Funny enough. 

 

That’s the first step and you’re already doing it. Identifying your emotions. This is the first step to awareness. 

last edit on 8/27/2019 2:24:53 AM
Posts: 819
1 votes RE: An Unidentifiable Emotion

BH you talk all that shit, until you get punched in that retarded face and curl up like a bitch. 

In this post I will address a feeling I often experience in response to loss,  a feeling that a loss is coming, or the abscense of a partner (even if temporary). It is not sadness or grief and comes once those emotions have passed and can be best described as disassociative yet liberating. This feeling coincides with a continuation of "lone wolf" activities that were halted during the relations with the person who is no longer around and the longer I feel it the more the grief fades and I become consumed by my pasttimes. It is a warm and numbing rush; empty yet so distinctly an emotion. Along with it, I start to feel arrogant and powerful and beyond reproach. The odd emotion begins to consume me as I totally detach from the person I lost. The power I percieve fuels social charisma until someone new comes along. And arrogant me, whom feels empowered and has drowned out the memory of my past mistakes decides to begin a relationship. Then the numb, empty, warm, confident, and powerful feeling fades to something more familiar: love.

Until the next loss. that is.

What is this odd emotion I have described?

Posts: 6443
1 votes RE: An Unidentifiable Emotion

BH you talk all that shit, until you get punched in that retarded face and curl up like a bitch. 

In this post I will address a feeling I often experience in response to loss,  a feeling that a loss is coming, or the abscense of a partner (even if temporary). It is not sadness or grief and comes once those emotions have passed and can be best described as disassociative yet liberating. This feeling coincides with a continuation of "lone wolf" activities that were halted during the relations with the person who is no longer around and the longer I feel it the more the grief fades and I become consumed by my pasttimes. It is a warm and numbing rush; empty yet so distinctly an emotion. Along with it, I start to feel arrogant and powerful and beyond reproach. The odd emotion begins to consume me as I totally detach from the person I lost. The power I percieve fuels social charisma until someone new comes along. And arrogant me, whom feels empowered and has drowned out the memory of my past mistakes decides to begin a relationship. Then the numb, empty, warm, confident, and powerful feeling fades to something more familiar: love.

Until the next loss. that is.

What is this odd emotion I have described?

 do you think his potato wife has tard raged punched him in the face yet? I doubt it could contain itself not to

last edit on 8/27/2019 2:50:57 AM
Posts: 2816
0 votes RE: An Unidentifiable Emotion

Sc is pretty boring.
Posts: 2278
0 votes RE: An Unidentifiable Emotion

This post has little to do with Delora. But naturally, someone must talk their shit and naturally, my critics are often massive (literally in the case of slobrietta) degenerates.

My grandiose delusions are better than yours.
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