Because being honest about not wanting to fix myself (?) Means I'm aware it's not unbroken but I'm doing nothing to fix the problem.
It means taking responsibility for the fact that I realize I'm a shit person and doing nothing to address the problem and that, my feculant friend, means I'm an asshole.
The truth remains unchanged regardless of your perception of it. You just admitted to me, what you couldn't irl. That already offers a glimmer of hope you fucking asshole. Just be honest and be done with it.
Yeno
Fake it til you make it
Or break it with lousy coping mechanisms. Whatever comes first.
This just leads to burying, which makes the problem worse.
You likely just don't want to watch yourself doing the things you don't like.