Is hyper self awareness mutually exclusive with virtuosity?
I've been hyper focused and hyper self aware of what I'm doing, ever since I was a little kid, much more so than anyone else in the world.
I've been wondering if me being hyper self aware means I'm a terrible person. I can be entirely objective and place myself out of a situation in a way that I observe others can't. When I'm kind, I'm hyper aware of it. I feel like there's nothing genuine about it, it's not a visceral reaction for me at all, I've never had a visceral reaction to anything, save for panic when my life is threatened.
Do you think you need a visceral reaction to suffering in order for your help to be considered genuine?
Or, in other words, if you do things because you're playing a character do you think that you can absorb the virtuous parts of your character into your self essence?