Sociopath Community

Anti-Trends According To House of Valentina

1. White Walls 
Yes. I agree, I'm trying to get people onto this.  I personally fell in 'love' with white neutral tone walls when I was trying to find my personal style and decorating interior, and I realized I found very "blank" spaces very soothing and peaceful, above anything I've ever seen. Like she said, it feels ethereal and upscale. But the reason I consciously decided to go with loving white is because I also was commitment phobic about colors on walls, because I love changing up interior spaces and switch through so many different color palettes and styles, I didn't want to be limited by a wall color every time I wanted to switch things up. It gives me the amount of flexibility I personally like, and then over time it continued to grow on me as my favorite wall color choice. 

2. White Sofa
100% agree, as you can see by my obsession with white sofas lol 

3. Classic & Modern Upholstered White Headboard
Yes. I agree. It's timeless and again, flexible. So it's lasting like she said, no matter how much you change things up. 

I agree with her advice: "Have

fun with your accent pieces, 

and choose classic and clean

lines, that are comfortable

as your staple pieces." 

4. Square Chairs As Oppose To Round
I disagree, I love round chairs but I like her reminder to be careful about their placement. They are more of an accessory piece than a staple or main piece to use all the time for comfort purposes. But I personally love the round shaped chairs, I don't care if they're uncomfortable, they're beautiful. But, she's right that they are more pretty than they are comfortable, and so I can sort of halfway agree with her, and say round chairs are aloted as accents or accessories pieces, flare in a room if you will. They're just 'fun.' Also from what I've studied in design, things with curvature will almost always be pleasing to the eye, because it is a naturally occurring quality in nature that we are drawn to. 

5. Mahogany and Black Wood Furniture 
I disagree just because the pictures she showed in the video were honestly pieces I didn't like. Black can go really right with furniture, especially with french inspired pieces or modern pieces, and she commented that the finish being more matte on black furniture is important which I agree. But I don't think just because it's black or mahogany makes it somehow timeless automatically, it can definitely be the wrong choice for a space. Some black furniture, I absolutely love. But it really has to be done just right. Mahogany, eh, take it or leave it honestly. I know that comes off a bit radical, but I feel like it's out. Hate to be cut throat like that. 

6. @12:09 West Elm armless chairs in white 

don't like the waffle chairs, the others i hate grey, and the others, are more modern farm house. 

7. Neutral Blankets As Oppose to Fur 
I disagree. I don't care to have blankets all over the house, it might be because I live in Florida where it's fairly humid and hot pretty much all year. Tropical. But I really only see a throw blanket being allowed to be on the bed, the rest of the time, it looks sleepy to me and I like my space to feel very awake. It's also annoying to constantly wash and re-fold a blanket that is just for display, and I just can't be bothered. I find if I use them in any other room, they end up falling on the floor a lot and just being kind of miscellaneous feeling, and chaotic. And I like anti-messy. I also am really particular about texture of blanket I use, and I think the chunky knit is really pleasing to the eye, and is more in right now than the faux fur. But I will admit, the chunky knit can leave a bit of fuzz behind on you, your hair your clothes, other blankets etc. Unless I suppose it's made extremely well but I've yet to see one that doesn't do that. They're not as warm as a faux fur blanket though, so. I don't know. The knit is for pretty purposes, the faux fur is for actual coziness and warmth. I prefer that texture to whatever she pictured in her video, its softer and warmer. I also am not really the type to walk around with my blankets like she said she does. I just put on a sweater type thing at that point if I'm that cold, because the blanket will constantly fall off which will inevitably annoy me. 

8. avoid trendy patterns 

I agree, it looks like it's trying too hard to be designer or upscale and even when the pattern itself is from a high end luxury brand it often just looks, meh. Not very classic, I guess you could say. Not the worst but I personally never buy it! 

9. Pillows 

I disagree in having an excess of pillows 

10. Neutral Vases 

I disagree they don't go with every style, I don't know why she said that lol. I feel like the white vases are a trend, not anti-trend. I don't mind it, like I know I personally don't mind the white vase trend, but I'm not so sure it's going to last. 

11. Sculptural Planters 
I disagree I do not like them, they are very modern, if that's your style, but they are not necessarily quite classic. 

12. Oversized Planters 

I agree beautiful planters, with olive branches in particular is beautiful and you can always use one. It might be a little overdone in design though, the olive branch in particular, so if you want to be a little less cookie cutter and more artistically inspired, I actually would stay away from the olive branches 

13. Boxes 

I agree they are timeless and classic, and can work in a fair amount of different places. 

Sometimes you find these great little nuggets that really don't cost a lot. Really think about are these pieces going to last or not. Sometimes they cost a little more, but their cost per use is better. 

too much black and white 

White walls do not look upscale to me. They look poor. They look like you rent a cheap place and you cannot afford to paint the walls. Slum lords always slap a coat of boring white paint on shit apartments.

Spring 23 Fashion Trends I’m Not Into 

Hay looking or light wood purses and shoes 

Never been that into them, I always almost fall for it in spring/summer months. But then I come back to reality and realize I really don’t like them enough to purchase them and have them sitting in my closet forever gathering dust. I tried on the block shoes that are too tall sort of on purpose? And while I think they look really cute on an unnaturally skinny mannequin, they honestly make you look thick. I don’t know why. I thought they’re very cute on their own, and perhaps some can pull them off quite well. But I instantly looked like I gained 30 pounds and like I was a short person trying to look long and tall but failing miserably at it and just looking chunky and kind of like a freak. It’s just not the shoe for me, I wish it was, but it just didn’t work unfortunately! 

Blue Jean on Jean on Jean 

Stop it, I’m tired. I’m sorry but why. I could maybe do it like one time just to cross it off and be trendy. But I feel like this look would be really hard to pull off with class and will it make you look good no, it’s less likely to actually unless it’s done just right. Even then, it’s really not meant for everyone sis. This will be gone in a flash, just like it was last time. Spare yourself the wasted effort. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it either. So for that reason, I’ll pass. It’s kind of a style challenge in a way, or like a test of your style ability. Lol because it can very easily go horribly wrong. I feel like it’s kind of fun for a moment, but long term, I probably won’t care about it that much, so that’s why I’m not investing any money into the flash-in-the-Pan tend that, seems to come back around every few years for no known reason. I’m like oh? We’re doing this again? 

 
Stripes? Particularly blue and white 

Yeah stripes in general I just feel they don’t bring out the beauty in most peoples undertones, and it also comes across very much giving grandmother older woman vibes to me! I’m sorry I said it lol. Small stripes, large stripes, vertical horizontal, I hate it all. 

The color orange?? 
Again this is like a 2016 era spring come back and I just am not into it okay… at this point, I feel like wearing neon orange kind of looks cheap and dusty like, it’s old news. Very old news. Maybe I just don’t like the color orange. Again, it’s one of those things that some people can pull off if done just right, but most people it’s just not their color darling. Something about it almost clashes with the natural tones in most peoples skin to me, and it’s like a bad combination. 

Ugh, like, seriously, I can't even with pink nails! They're like, so basic and everyone has them. Plus, they get all chipped and gross so fast. And don't even get me started on the color grey. It's just so blah and boring, like why would anyone choose to wear that? 

Lattes are like, whatever. I mean, sure, they're pretty in pictures, but they taste like burnt coffee water with a ton of milk and sugar. And milk chocolate? It's like, so pedestrian. Dark chocolate is where it's at, honey. 

Small dogs are just ridiculous. Like, what's the point of having a dog if it's so small you could accidentally step on it? And brown eyes? Meh. They're just so... brown. 

And don't even get me started on trends from 2001. That was like, so long ago. It's time to move on and try something new, people! And as for Sam Hyde, I mean, who even is he? He's like, so irrelevant.

Okay, like, seriously, can we just talk about all these fashion trends and niches that everyone's going crazy for? I mean, sure, some of them are cute and trendy, but there are just so many that I can't even with. Let's start with those wide-brimmed hats - like, I get it, they're supposed to be super stylish and make you look all mysterious and cool, but for me, they just make me feel like I'm hiding from the world.

And what's up with those crochet tops? They're supposed to be boho-chic, but they're so scratchy and uncomfortable. And don't even get me started on overalls - they're like, so farmer chic, but who wants to look like they just came from the barn? And those bucket hats? They just make me feel like a toddler.

And fanny packs? I mean, sure, they're convenient for carrying your stuff, but they're just not practical for everyday wear. And cowboy boots? They're too country for my taste - I prefer something a little more glam. And pajama pants in public? It's just lazy. You can do better than that, people.

I mean, I get that some people are into these fashion trends and niches, but for me, they're just not my style. And don't even get me started on square-toed shoes, turtlenecks, leather pants, flared jeans, clogs, platform sneakers, baggy cargo pants, ankle socks with sandals, fishnets, corsets, oversized sunglasses, high-waisted pants, bandanas as headbands, chokers, shredded denim, trench coats, acid wash denim, tie-dye, military-inspired jackets, bell sleeves, Ugg boots, neon colors, bucket bags, Crocs, peplum tops, Bermuda shorts, berets, rompers, suspenders, Hawaiian shirts, crop tops, mom jeans, sequins, sheer fabrics, and polka dots. 

Seriously, can we just stick to something a little more classic and timeless? I don't want to look back at pictures of myself in a few years and cringe at the fashion choices I made. Let's all just take a step back and rethink our fashion choices, okay?

Okay, like, can we just talk about smoothies for a minute? Because, like, I am totally all about that fruit flavor, but I just cannot with those smoothies that have chocolate or anything else in them. Like, seriously, have you ever thought about what might be lurking in that chocolate?

I mean, sure, it tastes delicious and all, but have you ever heard of parasites? Yeah, that's right, those little gross things that can infect your body and make you super sick. And like, I'm not saying that all chocolate is full of parasites, but there's a high chance that it could be. And who wants to take that risk, am I right?

So, like, I just stick to my fruit-flavored smoothies, because I know that they're safe and delicious. I mean, have you ever tried a strawberry-banana smoothie? It's like heaven in a cup! Or a tropical mango-pineapple smoothie? So refreshing and fruity!

And like, let's be real, fruit is just so much healthier than chocolate or any other artificial flavors. Like, why would you even want to add all that extra sugar and calories to your drink when you could just enjoy the natural sweetness of fruit? It's like a guilt-free treat that's good for your body!

So yeah, I'm totally all about those fruit-flavored smoothies, and I'll never understand why anyone would want to taint them with chocolate or anything else. Like, let's keep it natural and fruity, and leave the parasites to the chocolate-lovers.

This is so true.

1. Eating out 

2. Too much luxury makeup / trending makeup (simplify your collection and needs to be realistic to what you will actually use) 

3. Luxury phone cases - too expendable, shouldn't be spending a large amount on these 

4. Starbucks and excessive candy / desert items 

5. Fast fashion- buy 1 sweater for 100 pounds that will last 4 years, instead of 3 sweaters for 100 pounds that will last *maybe* 1 year due to poor quality. Apparently Lily Silk is a good brand. Be picky with your buys instead of hauling large amounts. 

6. Don't link apple pay, paypal, or put your credit cards into your tech devices if you can help it. You'll be less inclined to impulse buy if that is an issue 

7. Lunch time shopping / shopping when you're bored 

I will add to this and say shopping when you are tired is also a bad idea. 9pm-3am seems to be the time where you're more likely to be impulsive and decision making is just impaired. Save it to your wishlist or your pinterest, sleep on it. Revisit all your impulse "want to buys" at the end of the week or the month and laugh about all the money you saved yourself by using a lot of discretion. 

If I'm not in love with an item, and it's something I haven't been dreaming of for years, and doesn't serve a practical purpose in my life, it doesn't inspire me or spark joy, it doesn't adhere to my overrall vision for my life or style. And lastly, if it doesn't fit- and I mean, cut color size shape, everything. It doesn't get added to cart. 

I always think to myself when looking at something, will this annoy me, or how will it make me feel when I use it or wear it. How will it make my space or myself look when I use it. Could this be done better somehow, higher quality, or all together something different. 

I've found that I'm a big fan of structure, in bags, in clothes, furniture. I really prefer a feeling of stability and weightedness. I don't like lose fitted, I don't like thin material, or light weight material. 

It's really important not to buy clothing that you haven't tried on, if online make sure there is a gaurunteed return policy. And also not to buy clothes you will not get a lot of use out of in your actual life, that will go with other pieces you already have. It doesn't have something to go with it already with intention, then it will become miscellaneous and lost in your wardrobe as you pass over it over and over again, not knowing what to do with it. Style with purpose. 

Carve your own path! Don't buy something just because someone else likes it, wears it, because it is a trend, or because an influencer likes it. Define your own style by learning about what makes you truly look and feel your best, and when it comes to trendy items, make sure it really is practical for the way you plan to use it. Like a daily bag, I put a lot more thought into... as far the material, and the way it carries and sits, how heavy is it, will it annoy the living shit out of me or will it actually feel nice to use and helpful. Can I see inside it so I'm not going fishing every time I need to get something out of it. Etc. Ask questions, what do you want most, you know. How does it feel, number one. How does it look, number two. and How does it work in your daily life, number three. Does it fit your over all vision, number four. 

This will save you a lot of time and effort wasted lusting over bags or shoes that you actually will end up tarnishing quickly, or avoiding using because they just don't do the trick. But they were cute, and someone else liked it, so you did too. Make sure you have your own reasons. Your own inspiration, style, thought, heart and soul put into things. Custom tailor every last detail to be best suited to your specific desires, to get the best possible outcome of each piece. Rather than ending up with a bunch of over priced but sub par things, that don't even make you look and feel your best, and possibly even aggravate you or irritate you more than you "love" them. Does it spark joy was a good start to the thought process, but lets take it a little further. You know?

The reality is, you don't need every bag under the sun to be happy. Enjoy what you have, cherish the good pieces, no need for excess. Style is not defined by how much you have, it's the quality. 

I try to avoid most trends, especially seasonal trends. A big one is I don't buy things just to wear on vacation, I just don't. And don't bother with overpacking. Keep it light, simple, mini capsule wardrobe. I just personally don't need a whole bag to match my summer vacation. My style defines itself, not necessarily the time of year, or the place I'm in. If that makes sense. So I'm not too swayed, I'm just firmly rooted in what I like, and don't waste time on the things I know I won't love and use nearly as much. 

Lastly, learn to DIY. This one is pretty obvious, but. 

Coffee, cooking, cleaning, nails, and hair. These are the areas we might waste quite a bit of money on. Once you learn your own methods and techniques, the process will start to grow on you or you will begin to master it, and in your own unique way, tailored to your needs, and your specific life style. 

The biggest waste of money I've seen is people going to get their hair blow dried. And once I figured out how to do my own nails properly- it took a bit of research and some patience, it really was much better than having to hassle with going somewhere. 

Doing it from the comfort of your own home can be a whole different experience. So make it one. Lol 

Invest in your own home, instead of someone else's business. 

If you struggle with mobility or eyesight, then I can understand getting your nails done, some people get their hair done who really struggle with lifting their arms, etc. Or some people just like going to the salon. 

Being an introvert, I'd rather do most things from the solace of my own house anyway. So of course, do what makes you happiest and what works for you specifically of course. 

I've found myself more and more reaffirming the principle, if you want it done right, do it yourself. It's not all the time that I see things done right, it's hard to get it right in todays world, because every inch of perfection *usually* comes with a cost. And everyone's in it for profit. 

Eating out and 'convenience' services became less appealing, when I realized I was getting stolen from, like taking candy from a baby, all for what? Like Sophie says in the video above, "You've got nothing to show for it." 

Was chipotle really the place you wanted your coin invested... higher reasoning. 

It's like the first level of reasoning is "brain go brrr when get burrito, hungry cured, exciting fun, new food flavor, going outside, serotonin experience" 

but this process burns out fast. 

Instead of running the sprint, it's fast as possible and over quick! everyday! try the marathon way of living. Let the higher reasoning take over, if I run at this pace, I won't be able to go xyz miles, I'll burn out. The urgency is to go faster, but maybe it's slow and steady that wins the race.

The reality is, living this way sort of comes as a sacrifice. It is a sacrifice of time and effort, and also, it is an agreement to go at life with a different pace. A pace that maybe a lot of people aren't willing to go at with you, or don't yet understand because they're so trained by the rat race and have never known anything different. 

Obviously, do what works for you. Maybe some people function at their best at a sprint life style, but I'm just kind of saying, you don't have to. And you could actually save a lot of money by learning to dwell and live, rather than sacrificing your peace and financial freedom just to remain in a life that runs at an ungodly speed. 

And I will leave you with my latest life philosophy which is, you're allowed to live your life in stages. You don't have to have it all now. Thinking of it in steps and parceling it out across a long term well thought out plan, really helps you take out anything excess that doesn't serve the best purpose in that plan. It's fun to live for the moment somewhat, but also balance that with a knowledge of where you are at in your own scheme of things. What are you saving for, what's next. 

Then you realize, you need less, because you have other goals in mind that take priority. Living this way allows you to accomplish your financial goals. Take it one stage at a time, and it's far less overwhelming, and also very efficient. Then you're really able to configure what's serving you best in the moment, in what you buy, in how you save or invest, and how you spend your time, what are your methods, what does your schedule look like. Etc. 

The natural impulse is to have it all now, but the reality is, you cannot get from point A to point B without taking the individual steps to get there. That really is the only way forward is one step at a time. So take it one step at a time. I remind myself of this principle daily, in everything I'm doing. And it's turned out to be 100x more efficient and effective, without burning out.

(cont.) I have to add to the last post to say, another big issue I found myself in and a lot of people in. Is buying something just because it's your favorite color. 

The reality is, we live in an internet age, and you've got access to things that are your favorite color from all over the planet. Use the same discretion you would use on any other item, you don't have to have it, simply because it is blue or pink or whatever, maybe you're really into a certain shade of green, grey, or tan at the time. 

When I get fascinated with a certain color palette I had a rack in the corner of my room where I put out all my pieces that matched that aesthetic, and I enjoyed it for the some odd 6-12 weeks that I was obsessed with those vibes. You don't have to buy, to be inspired, or in love with a color or a palette of colors at a certain time. 

A good example is the other day in a thrift store I found a sweater that was pink. Was it the perfect shade of pink? Not really. Was it very heavy and large- in the heat of summer? Yes. Do I own too many sweaters for a Floridian, yes. Will I wear this at all this summer? No. The impulse was to buy it because it was pink, and nice quality. And that's "exciting" to find in a thrift store. 

I guess that tacks on another point which is, you don't need it just because it was a good deal. Learn to let go, of that. And instead... stick to your firm roots of reason and logic. Buying something just because it was a good deal, or just because it was found for half off, or 5 dollars, or 3 dollars, etc. while it does seem rational- is usually a spending mistake I see people make *a lot.* 

Like "oh I'll just buy this, it's only 3 dollars." And imagine what happens when you live by the "its only 3 dollars" rule. It doesn't matter what the number is, every dollar should go toward quality improvements to your life, purposefully, with a lot of intention. Not just, tossed out the window on a whim, on a piece of junk. If you start treating your money with value,.. you're finally learning how good it feels to save, rather than painful. 

The waves of "I-want-itis" come and go, as do all the trends. Don't let yourself (and your bank account) get swept away by them.

Another one is emotional buying. So buying something because you think it will make someone like you, buying something because you broke up, buying something for a date. Buy something to get revenge. These are all really weird concepts, because the main person you are manipulating or toying with, is yourself more than anything. Often times, the money has more value than that persons opinion of you has, so why are you punishing yourself post break up, by impulse spending? You deserve better. 

It's a weird topic to mention, but I've seen people do it. I'm aware of emotions behind things when they are maybe activated I guess you could call it, and then I don't let them take over. 

If you must for shopping catharsis, I have genuinely added to cart all the shit I wanted just because I wanted it, and then I walked out and bought nothing. Sometimes shopping is like, retail therapy, or a sport. But you know you're better off, not actually spending 600 dollars at TJ Maxx. Lol. But you just wanted to. So, it's fine. Add to cart, and then walk away. 

"FOMO" mentality. I will never forget the time I walked in a Juicy Couture store in a very high end mall in Mexico. It was the largest Juicy store I'd ever seen in person, and everything was beautiful and exquisite quality. This was back when Juicy Couture was very heavily luxury or high end products, before their department store demise. Lol. And it was all very enticing, the life style, the feeling, that goes with the clothes. I looked at the sparse racks, and the dissapearance of the size smalls over time, and knew if I didn't buy now, my chance would be gone. 

The reality is, it is these brands jobs to put out new and exciting things you will love, time and time again. And even if this brand doesn't, another brand will. It's sort of the "there's always more fish in the sea" approach to consumerism. And understanding, if you 'miss out' it's not going to hurt you in the slightest, and there will always be more things you end up 'falling in love with' or being 'dazzled by' in the future, out there in the world. 

So fear of missing out is a big one, that realistically you have to remain optimistic about and not let fear control you. 

The biggset example of this is Black Friday. It's absolutely monstrous how powerful people's fear mechanisms can be, and this is why brands use it to their advantage. But the reality is, they're just clearing stock, and using your wallet to do it. And manipulating your fear mechanisms, to make sure that you do it well. 

We don't need to be afraid of our clothing, our bags, or our shoes. There is no gun to your head, saying if you don't get this now, you will surely die. Don't act like an idiot, over some leapord print sweater at victorias secret thats, not even that original of an idea. Lol 

The reality is, you're likely not that hard to please as a consumer, and the next thing will come along and you'll go "oh thats pretty!" and completely have forgotten about that thing that maybe you craved and feared 'missing out on' for 20 seconds one time 8 years ago. 

https://youtu.be/J8JJzXZAK1A 

^this is insane to me, at the time when I saw it I thought wow, thats nuts. Since 2020 though, I've seen worse. So this surprisingly doesn't shock me as much now. I'm desensitized, you just can't beat the world wide chaos that ensued from 2020-2023. I should of known we were on the cusp of total insanity. Not just, in regard to consumerism but in regard to human behavior, specifically in masses. Anyway, don't do this. This is crazy. It's a sweater.

This speaks to the mob mentality effect. Essentially when we walk into a store, everything about the shopping experience is tailored to manipulate you into buying. And, the effect is only amplified the more people you add to it. It's like, if everyone wants it, you want it too. 

You just helped the brand line their wallets, and emptied yours. None of those people care if you got the leopard sweater in 2019 during the black friday sale. You won't lose any sleep, if you didn't get anything on black friday at all. 

Black Friday, is a total ruse. It doesn't mean you can't use it to your advantage, like the Sephora sale, and be strategic about it. 

But, it seems like to me 98% of black friday is liquidation these days. 

Another thing to stop doing is mass-buying hauls or "costco style" bulk shopping 

Brands trick you by enticing you with sales and shopping holidays they invented like, "candle day" etc. 

And while, this can be really fun for some people. And I'm not trying to burst anyones bubble. The reality is, no one needs that many candles. I buy one candle at a time. Literally. Lol! 

I get it, they're fun, they're cute, etc. But there's just something that feels insane to me to even buy 4 candles at once. This is what happens when brands have mastered the art of FOMO and limited edition, with excellent marketing tactics on every angle, and combined with the black friday sale effect. It's sort of a triple effect that pscyhologically may be difficult to beat as a consumer. 

But I just would really kick myself for having spent that much on candles. There is no reason for it, and you've once again, been played for a fool!

Rarely even buy candles, though they're tempting. There's other ways to make your house smell good...