attachment style defines everything

10 / 33 posts

0 votes

on 3/14/2023

Posts: 5402

my whole identity is defined by my avoidance and anxiety. likely childhood emotional traumas/unsafe patterns which made me feel too unsecure to be vulnerable in any relationship, which extrapolated itself across my life from then on, reinforcing it.

what is YOUR attachment style?

https://simplypsychology.org/attachment-styles.html

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/anxiety/understanding-the-anxious-avoidant-attachment-style/

https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/creating-secure-attachment-tips

this idea suggests that relationships formed early (typically with parents/carers) have an influence of our perception of bonding. Meaning we mirror the reciprocal behaviour of our parents well into adulthood.

People with a secure attachment style tend to do better in life, form meaningful, lasting relationships and have an advantage over damaged attachment styles. I am very much avoidant still, and had the worst of both worlds, but am anxious to a greatly lesser extent. let's see who else is out there.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/202104/how-change-your-attachment-style-and-your-relationships

https://www.forbes.com/sites/allbusiness/2021/11/26/understanding-employee-attachment-styles-helps-managers-build-more-cohesive-teams/

What is your attachment style?

secure

42.86%

Voters(3): Delora , FOTS , Friedrich

preoccupied

14.29%

Voters(1): Turncoat

dismissive

28.57%

Voters(2): Good , Prick

fearful

14.29%

Voters(1): Xadem

by Friedrich

on 3/14/2023

Posts: 1331

You can change it or work with it. Take responsibility.

by Turncoat

on 3/14/2023

Posts: 33411

Definitely this one no question.

Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔

by Friedrich

on 3/14/2023

Posts: 1331

I used to be fearful avoidant now I am secure.

by Delora

on 3/15/2023

Posts: 2759

Mine is idk cus I don't care. I bet blanc will give you a twenty page auto biography on hers though.

🌺🐀 🌺

by Delora

on 3/15/2023

Posts: 2759

My parents treated me like shit but I have really healthy relationships with people now despite that.

🌺🐀 🌺

by Delora

on 3/15/2023

Posts: 2759

Turncoat said:

Definitely this one no question.

How so?

🌺🐀 🌺

by PastelPink

on 3/15/2023

Posts: 523

However, other researchers have proposed that rather than a single internal working model, which is generalized across relationships, each type of relationship comprises a different working model. This means a person could be securely attached to their parents but insecurely attached in romantic relationships.

Family: avoidant

Romantic partner: secure

Friends/ Others: anxious

The blood on my hands covered the holes

by Anastacia

on 3/15/2023

Posts: 56

Turncoat said:

Definitely this one no question.

More people have this attachment style here than want to admit.

by Turncoat

on 3/15/2023

Posts: 33411

Anastacia said:
Turncoat said:

Definitely this one no question.
More people have this attachment style here than want to admit.

It feels like I see a fair amount of Avoidant going on here too, as shown by an odd confidence in a more solitary life in spite of low interpersonal skills.

Anxious types still throw themselves out there, but once out there aren't really sure what to do with it. Avoidant would probably sit around telling themselves things are fine if they otherwise express low anxiety over their sense of self.

Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔

last edit on 3/15/2023 5:11:48 PM

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attachment style defines everything