Sociopath Community

LiYang said: 

natasha87 said: 

Good said: 

Apart from other advices, like asking ur friends is pretty solid, you can also risk it, do it and learn from the result.

It is honestly the best way IMO. If you never try, you will never know.

Of course, be ready to be wrong, but do not hold back because of fear either. It is a balance and a paradox.

 this is what i do. i go along like i'm buying it just to learn the rest of their tricks. it's fun

 What of they know you're going along with it, then they are letting you play along just to watch your face.

 yeah i've had multiple people tell me "People will still let you manipulate them even when you tell them you're going to."

FOTS said: 

Empath said: 

LiYang said: 

 This is true, but what if the sociopath is telling the truth. Where they actually know you will be asking them questions. A real evil one. Maybe she has one of these.

 thats what im worried about happening because i think i know the signs to look for since ive dealt with sociopaths before but then i think what if this one is smarter than them and he knows what im looking out for 

 no shame in being caught off guard or overlooking a sign. i recently fell into the social pitfall trap of one because i had let my guard down.  Just recognize it, brush your shoulders off and move on with your life.  Most of them have narcissistic tendencies, so by showing no interest in their antics or presence you will undoubtedly dig under their skin and force them to show their ugly face in public

 tru thank u

and maybe accept that you're a dishonest person, too. 

Xadem said: 

and maybe accept that you're a dishonest person, too. 

 how am i dishonest?

Empath said: 

Spatial Mind said: 

Empath said: 

I want to make new friends and connections but I have trust issues so when I connect with someone I feel like they are just pretending we are connecting to manipulate me.

I can't tell if my instincts are telling me this person is a manipulator like the ones I've met before or if this is real normal connection and I am just being triggered because of my trauma.

Does anyone know how to tell the difference between genuine connection and like love-bombing/just fake connecting from a sociopath?

I can't tell if im feeling fear because my instincts know this person is dangerous or if im just attracted to them???

 Stuff like that is easier to determine if you're willing to explore the cold hard truth about yourself.

For example, it'll come across as mean if I ask, are you pretty ?

See that's a creepy question right, and commonly off limits, nor is it really my business. But take heed and ask yourself, are you hot or not ? The answer to that will help you weigh odds. Stuff like this matters regardless of what people have to say about it.

If you're just a regular person on the scale, then odds are you're not being toyed with again, however, if this type of thing happens a lot, that is, you being love bombed, then it's because you've put on a display of easy prey to a certain type of person yet again. You'll then have to weigh in on that other guy status, how desirable he is to others etc, if you can't gauge him. 

If he's good looking and confident in his approach while you fancy him, then something might be wrong if he's resorting to love bombing.

Love bombing is a bad sign. Though be sure whatever it is they are doing, that it actually is love bombing. You can read about love bombing and in every case you find you'll see something is wrong with it, so, if your subject really is love bombing, then you have someone who is determined in an unhealthy way, to keep you. If that person is somewhat obsessed, then imagine how they might turn out if you're in a relationship with that person, and you get into an argument or a disagreement, you might find they aren't well.

With little detail that's the best I can do.  I don't claim what I've wrote here is accurate to your case. It could be nothing, though love bombing is kind of a red flag in every outlet that mentions it. 

 i think i am pretty lol. like at least above average. i have a hot body and like maybe an average face, above average with makeup, so its enough that people are trying to fuck me.
So that does add to my trust issues with guys.

Being attractive is what will draw certain guys toward you. Guys further up the scale in looks in particular. Most guys won't  approach hot chicks, while some hot chicks appreciate  being approached cause it doesn't happen as often as one would think. That guy you're talking about, is most likely good looking, and you are considering him despite the red flags. Of course the redflags are a pattern recognition in this case. At the start of your other relationships, as it is with many relationships, the partner will be extra sweet before things change. That's normal.

I know that for other reasons, the way i present myself not just physically but the way i talk, i definitely come off as prey. I am very gullible and try to assume people are good. 
I've known this about myself for a long time but pretty much became determined to find a way to protect myself without changing myself in ways i dont want to.

Men like those attributes in women. It makes us feel useful and important. We like to be providers and protectors. Of course that's only most men.

Most guys will not in their life score themselves a hot chick. For those men, when they do score say, someone that fits your description, they will hang on for dear life and do everything in their power and knowledge to keep you. That may include not expressing how much you mean to him.

I am extremely upfront with people about how gullible and trusting (despite my trust issues, ik its contradictory) and pretty much tell them there is no room for them to act like it happened on accident if they take advantage of this.

Its a risky method but im just too stubborn. 

It's been said that the truth will set you free. I don't see the risk in being open with a guy about your weaknesses, unless he's a girly boy. ( Not to argue but, using a partner's weakness against them is something women typically do. Guy's usually feel they have an advantage whenever we get into arguments with our women. ) 

If the guy is masculine, you can absolutely share what freaks you out. And if he uses it against you, you'll probably have plenty of time to find someone more worthy.

Its not just love bombing that sets off my alarms at this point, its also just genuinly connecting and having a lot in common with someone. I think youre right that no matter what the situation if they are love-bombing it unhealthy.

But what if this manipulator is smart enough to know if they straight up love-bomb me i will see through that as a red flag and leave, so they try to create a more realistic scenerio of us just having a lot in common.

Seems like It's not clear to you if the man is lovebombing.

Having a lot in common won't make or break how we feel about romantic interests. We won't choose who we fall for. Sometimes we fall for terrible people, and willing to give them a shot anyway.

But I'm worried i've just been gaslit and manipulated so much that im overthinking it and missing that this is just what normal healthy connection is like

 That's interesting.  Gaslit and manipulated. You've been with a mentally disordered person if they did that for no appearant reason.

Your biggest problem is likely the fact you like the guy. If he's the type of guy that get's a lot of female attention, then your concerns might have more weight to it. Probably not as bad as gaslighting you. As far as manipulation goes, every interaction we have is a form of manipulation.

I couldn't know his intent from here, plus you're aware that you've been conditioned by your past experience.

- That guy CAN break your heart it seems.

- You're not interested in the options who can't break your heart.

People on their deathbeds often suggest how life's biggest regrets are what we don't do. It's probably better to risk heartbreak than passing up on a romantic interest. Besides, you feeling insecure about being in a new relationship, is the work of your previous abuser. 

I don't know who you're dealing with. Date him, but take it slow, if he sticks around then keep him, but don't shittest him too hard.

I can usually see when people are lying. However, I have been used and manipulated in friendships before etc and that is not so easy for me to see. It makes me question my intuition and senses lately. And how would I know that I had been lied to if I didn't spot it? 

LiYang said: 

natasha87 said: 

Good said: 

Apart from other advices, like asking ur friends is pretty solid, you can also risk it, do it and learn from the result.

It is honestly the best way IMO. If you never try, you will never know.

Of course, be ready to be wrong, but do not hold back because of fear either. It is a balance and a paradox.

 this is what i do. i go along like i'm buying it just to learn the rest of their tricks. it's fun

 What of they know you're going along with it, then they are letting you play along just to watch your face.

they don't

Turncoat said: 

Xadem said: 

People have different tells. Some give too much info when reporting on something, others hide info. People close their body language, or even go red from embarrassment when they lie. I find good liars to be a rare breed, even a good poker face is not easy to find. 

I find it crazier that the tells are fairly uniform across people foundationally with variation following it. 

Ekman's studies on Microexpressions shows that even culture doesn't really change much, save for for example some nations showing embarrassment with a smile, or how quickly one might go into an expression. People will more often opt for follow up gestures once the silent utterance has already been done, like trying to hide their face or repeatedly tell themselves to 'play it cool' if not masking it with flooding anger and disgust. 

There are gestures embedded into us as a species, rather than learned, and as such people can recognize and mirror the expressions to relate to the person they're talking to. This can even somewhat translate towards other mammals, even other primates, but gets weirder once you get to bugs and lizards. 



Lying tends to be more hard to gauge if the reader is either distracted or invested, which is why the show Lie to Me even had them recording interviews to study repeatedly for clues. 

i think this line of thought also focuses on how normal people feel when lying. con artist isn't feeling the same things and trying to hide those tells

Tryptamine said:

con artist isn't feeling the same things and trying to hide those tells

They still flash them, just less obviously. The absence of normal tells also tends to give people an unconscious indicator that something is "off", like noticing where something should be but isn't.

Even those who learn to pretend still give off fairly inauthentic displays, but if people aren't trained to look for the tells or aren't otherwise wired that way it proves to be rather easy.