Sociopath Community

People have different tells. Some give too much info when reporting on something, others hide info. People close their body language, or even go red from embarrassment when they lie. I find good liars to be a rare breed, even a good poker face is not easy to find. 

Xadem said: 

People have different tells. Some give too much info when reporting on something, others hide info. People close their body language, or even go red from embarrassment when they lie. I find good liars to be a rare breed, even a good poker face is not easy to find. 

I find it crazier that the tells are fairly uniform across people foundationally with variation following it. 

Ekman's studies on Microexpressions shows that even culture doesn't really change much, save for for example some nations showing embarrassment with a smile, or how quickly one might go into an expression. People will more often opt for follow up gestures once the silent utterance has already been done, like trying to hide their face or repeatedly tell themselves to 'play it cool' if not masking it with flooding anger and disgust. 

There are gestures embedded into us as a species, rather than learned, and as such people can recognize and mirror the expressions to relate to the person they're talking to. This can even somewhat translate towards other mammals, even other primates, but gets weirder once you get to bugs and lizards. 



Lying tends to be more hard to gauge if the reader is either distracted or invested, which is why the show Lie to Me even had them recording interviews to study repeatedly for clues. 

The show jumps the shark a few times... somehow, but Ekman was a consultant on it and the data's a nice jumping point. 

Apart from other advices, like asking ur friends is pretty solid, you can also risk it, do it and learn from the result.

It is honestly the best way IMO. If you never try, you will never know.

Of course, be ready to be wrong, but do not hold back because of fear either. It is a balance and a paradox.

Good said: 

Apart from other advices, like asking ur friends is pretty solid, you can also risk it, do it and learn from the result.

It is honestly the best way IMO. If you never try, you will never know.

Of course, be ready to be wrong, but do not hold back because of fear either. It is a balance and a paradox.

 this is what i do. i go along like i'm buying it just to learn the rest of their tricks. it's fun

natasha87 said: 

Good said: 

Apart from other advices, like asking ur friends is pretty solid, you can also risk it, do it and learn from the result.

It is honestly the best way IMO. If you never try, you will never know.

Of course, be ready to be wrong, but do not hold back because of fear either. It is a balance and a paradox.

 this is what i do. i go along like i'm buying it just to learn the rest of their tricks. it's fun

 What of they know you're going along with it, then they are letting you play along just to watch your face.

LiYang said: 

Xena said: 

Ask them questions about the things they say.

If they're trying to manipulate or troll you, they will contradict themselves, eventually.

 

I will often have success with this tactic within minutes.

Sometimes it will take a few days or a few dates.

 

Note: bona fide sociopaths contradict themselves constantly bc they have shit for memory.

No feelings or empathy make it difficult for meaningful experiences to stick to their grey matter.

 This is true, but what if the sociopath is telling the truth. Where they actually know you will be asking them questions. A real evil one. Maybe she has one of these.

 thats what im worried about happening because i think i know the signs to look for since ive dealt with sociopaths before but then i think what if this one is smarter than them and he knows what im looking out for 

Spatial Mind said: 

Empath said: 

I want to make new friends and connections but I have trust issues so when I connect with someone I feel like they are just pretending we are connecting to manipulate me.

I can't tell if my instincts are telling me this person is a manipulator like the ones I've met before or if this is real normal connection and I am just being triggered because of my trauma.

Does anyone know how to tell the difference between genuine connection and like love-bombing/just fake connecting from a sociopath?

I can't tell if im feeling fear because my instincts know this person is dangerous or if im just attracted to them???

 Stuff like that is easier to determine if you're willing to explore the cold hard truth about yourself.

For example, it'll come across as mean if I ask, are you pretty ?

See that's a creepy question right, and commonly off limits, nor is it really my business. But take heed and ask yourself, are you hot or not ? The answer to that will help you weigh odds. Stuff like this matters regardless of what people have to say about it.

If you're just a regular person on the scale, then odds are you're not being toyed with again, however, if this type of thing happens a lot, that is, you being love bombed, then it's because you've put on a display of easy prey to a certain type of person yet again. You'll then have to weigh in on that other guy status, how desirable he is to others etc, if you can't gauge him. 

If he's good looking and confident in his approach while you fancy him, then something might be wrong if he's resorting to love bombing.

Love bombing is a bad sign. Though be sure whatever it is they are doing, that it actually is love bombing. You can read about love bombing and in every case you find you'll see something is wrong with it, so, if your subject really is love bombing, then you have someone who is determined in an unhealthy way, to keep you. If that person is somewhat obsessed, then imagine how they might turn out if you're in a relationship with that person, and you get into an argument or a disagreement, you might find they aren't well.

With little detail that's the best I can do.  I don't claim what I've wrote here is accurate to your case. It could be nothing, though love bombing is kind of a red flag in every outlet that mentions it. 

 i think i am pretty lol. like at least above average. i have a hot body and like maybe an average face, above average with makeup, so its enough that people are trying to fuck me.
So that does add to my trust issues with guys.

I know that for other reasons, the way i present myself not just physically but the way i talk, i definitely come off as prey. I am very gullible and try to assume people are good. 
I've known this about myself for a long time but pretty much became determined to find a way to protect myself without changing myself in ways i dont want to.

I am extremely upfront with people about how gullible and trusting (despite my trust issues, ik its contradictory) and pretty much tell them there is no room for them to act like it happened on accident if they take advantage of this.

Its a risky method but im just too stubborn. 

Its not just love bombing that sets off my alarms at this point, its also just genuinly connecting and having a lot in common with someone. I think youre right that no matter what the situation if they are love-bombing it unhealthy.

But what if this manipulator is smart enough to know if they straight up love-bomb me i will see through that as a red flag and leave, so they try to create a more realistic scenerio of us just having a lot in common.

But I'm worried i've just been gaslit and manipulated so much that im overthinking it and missing that this is just what normal healthy connection is like

natasha87 said: 

Good said: 

Apart from other advices, like asking ur friends is pretty solid, you can also risk it, do it and learn from the result.

It is honestly the best way IMO. If you never try, you will never know.

Of course, be ready to be wrong, but do not hold back because of fear either. It is a balance and a paradox.

 this is what i do. i go along like i'm buying it just to learn the rest of their tricks. it's fun

 thats what i used to do and thats why i overthink every interaction with anyone slightly intelligent i get along with because everything they say and do i'm wondering how far ahead they think in their actions. 

Also this advice is the exact advise my manipulator has used to get me to trust him in the past lol

It works so well because i hate the feeling of never knowing 

Empath said: 

LiYang said: 

Xena said: 

Ask them questions about the things they say.

If they're trying to manipulate or troll you, they will contradict themselves, eventually.

 

I will often have success with this tactic within minutes.

Sometimes it will take a few days or a few dates.

 

Note: bona fide sociopaths contradict themselves constantly bc they have shit for memory.

No feelings or empathy make it difficult for meaningful experiences to stick to their grey matter.

 This is true, but what if the sociopath is telling the truth. Where they actually know you will be asking them questions. A real evil one. Maybe she has one of these.

 thats what im worried about happening because i think i know the signs to look for since ive dealt with sociopaths before but then i think what if this one is smarter than them and he knows what im looking out for 

 no shame in being caught off guard or overlooking a sign. i recently fell into the social pitfall trap of one because i had let my guard down.  Just recognize it, brush your shoulders off and move on with your life.  Most of them have narcissistic tendencies, so by showing no interest in their antics or presence you will undoubtedly dig under their skin and force them to show their ugly face in public