I have a friend group I met on 4chan as a young teen that I am very close with, but I have had a "double life" pretending to be a female crossdressing in vidchat as a male and now my life is destroyed because that was actually a majority of my friendships. I have been exposed as a girl and now I am not being treated the same by my friends.
I have done a similar thing in reverse (not on 4chan though dear god why?), changing nothing about myself other than what sex I went with as the answer. Not video though that's begging to get caught.
If they are willing to drop you as a friend because of your gender, screw those people they aren't really your friends.
she has been lying to them for years tho
About gender.
Would you be pissed off if you suddenly found out I was blonde?
No + I won't care if you lied about your entire life.
However, if it was a friend I've been e-hanging with for years and they lied about their hair, I would be confused and careful: what else did they lie about? Tho not too much, but I would keep it in mind.
If they lied about their gender, I would feel the same, but 100x more.
If they can explain why they did it, like if they are insecure or something, it may alleviate my concerns.