Sociopath Community

AppleGenius said: 

If you had my lived experience, you would think differently.

To be clear I'm just working with what you've written out so far, which with this little of information doesn't build enough of a case on it's own for me. 

It is just as possible that you are calling quirks full blown disorderly behavior just as much as you underreporting the severity of the issues, for all I know you might not be over the things you claim to have recovered from and I don't really have any way to prove it from here. 

My depression was not chronic, from what it sounds like? It wasn't. I don't have depression anymore, so clearly it wasn't chronic. But it was definitionally not chronic. I'm just saying that, at the time, if you had evaluated me, without the wisdom of hindsight, my condition would have been indistinguishable from what you call "chronic depression".

Hard to know when that's not the you I'm seeing, especially when you don't want to take Neurochemistry into account. To me it sounds like the classic "fast person in the slow lane" problem, which can to many resemble disorders if they otherwise lack context. It very much reads to me so far as hyperactivity with down moments, even down to the "I was not challenged by my environment until I noticed it trying to" issue. Depression in the more mood swingy sort by comparison is more of a recharge than a permanent state of being, and chronic depression is with them through everything, while yours sounded more contextually based. 

Depression tends to display itself as exhausted and withdrawn, which is how even Insomnia for example can come across as a false positive. Even a case of Bipolar I've seen was logged as simple Depression over how he did not ever come to their doctor in a manic state, lending to him being prescribed antidepressants that made everything worse. 

In fact, I have major qualms with the way that modern psychiatry deals with mental illnesses. They've essentially elevated mental imperatives to the level of biological imperatives. I'm saying that there's no need to do that, and that there is no evidence that almost any of these chronic mental illnesses are actually chronic at all, with the exception of a few. 

Do you figure people with chronic depression, the thing you don't have, just aren't trying? 

Would you say that Buddha and that guy Paulo Coelho was actually just ADHD, too, along with everyone else who thinks they've awakened?

I would have to meet Buddha to know, but his life to me sounds like one of an escapist. He ran away from his responsibilities towards the very thing his father was trying to keep away from him, and had his father instead tried to force him to become a Holy Man we'd likely be talking about what kind of King Buddha was instead. 

I don't really know Paulo, but from a quick glance he seems to be one of the many people who left Christianity to pursue the stuff it expressly demonizes (yet in doing so legitimizes), just to return to it later on without having actually truly left it's framework. Having been raised Catholic furthers my presumption here, but again I have not looked into the man beyond this. 

To be fair, I was actually diagnosed with ADHD, alongside dyslexia and several learning disabilities. But I guess you knew that already. (I could guess, but didn't know) As for whether or not I was overtly excited by small changes -- I would  say jumping to a D or C student to a having the highest academic scores in the school overnight is not a small, incremental improvement.

Most people with some form of focus problem can end up diagnosable in the ADD spectrum, it's too commonly prescribed for symptoms that can be present within clusters of unrelated problems and Big Pharma does not help that, but rather streamlines the issue into something quicker. 

I have also been diagnosed with ADD, but upon further work it was clearly part of something larger. In the field, if one disorders symptoms can be explained as coming from another source (such as depression from bipolar), then they are more likely to diagnose the person with that rather than writing down both. OCD interestingly enough also has much higher odds of piggiebacking hyperactivity problems, you rarely see it hit the more tired ones. 

The ADD range though often reports how you did over school, both for why their grades were bad and how they got better. Focus-problems from hyperactivity is very telltale, usually able to do well enough once given a path to hyperfocus on while otherwise struggling to steer where that hyperfocus goes (unless in key hobbies that have locked in).

I would still consider this incremental improvement since the problem wasn't academic any further than being a symptom of the larger issue: Focus. People who don't feel challenged by their environment have a tendency of giving up on it, but that doesn't mean that once that changes that the slacker is suddenly smarter, just motivated, and just as quickly that motivation could tangent elsewhere if not burn out from going too hard. 

As for running as a kid, ever since what you call a small incremental improvement, I had the highest score in every race up until university. I'm not necessarily bragging, but I'm just saying that these realizations did not lead to small, incremental improvements that, as you say, I was overtly excited about because I was hyperactive.

Omg the hyperactive spaz was an expert runner too? 

I grew up with someone like this, he was ADHD to the point that he couldn't stay in his chair in class. He got in all kinds of trouble for it but the guy was not an idiot, just too jumpy to not be spending his time throwing pencils into the ceiling and stuff. He was effectively cursed with the Bart Simpson problem. 

OCD does have ranges, and I'd say that your analogy to "blinking" sounds very apt. I think you don't need to blink, either, if you don't want to. When you do resist blinking, at some point you will feel the biological imperative to blink, but that's no longer a mental imperative. If someone was giving you eye droplets like that scene from clockwork orange, I think you could just not blink. Bug bites, you can also just not scratch them. I get what you're talking about, but I'm saying that you can just choose not to do it.

The part where you lose me is the "just", it's not like you just walk through a door and no longer need to blink, eventually it begins to sting and permanent sight loss can follow. 

I bring up the comparison not just over the automatic urge to do it when not thinking about it, but over how it can burn to resist doing so. People with compulsions almost look pinched in some way, and the behavior often works as a circumvention for that sensation even if the behavior has nothing to do with it (like organizing your Sweet Tarts or M&Ms by color). Following this behavior however reinforces it, and in time can become automatic as a triggered response connected to said pinch, lending to people doing weird stuff like yelling out cuss words, pulling out their hair, hitting themselves in the chest, all kinds of things that are not related to the bigger problem. 

Have you ever seen how someone becomes suddenly angry for no apparent reason when they visit a place? I like to think that they just accessed a section of their brain that is associated with some shitty memories and experiences. Being hopeless in front of those feelings and mental habits is what I call zombie mode.

Sometimes it can be as simple as having enough cues from unrelated things otherwise connect to the same feeling, a lot of what we go through are associative patterns no better than Pavlov's Dogs. 

If you want to talk about Buddhism, pm me.

It is just as possible that you are calling quirks full blown disorderly behavior just as much as you underreporting the severity of the issues, for all I know you might not be over the things you claim to have recovered from and I don't really have any way to prove it from here.

Sometimes, it's a bit of a shame how we're limited by vocabulary and language. If I could hook your brain up with mine, I'm sure we'd make some headway. You're going with the wysiati, which is of course the logical thing for you to do. I don't mind. I don't really care how much you believe or don't believe me.

You believe what you see and experience, I believe what I see and experience.

Hard to know when that's not the you I'm seeing

From your descriptions, I am sure that the "me" you're seeing is not like me. If we had met while I was in Ohio, you'd know.

, especially when you don't want to take Neurochemistry into account.

I'm not disinclined to take neurochemistry into account any more than I am disinclined to believe in magic and fairies. I'll take it into account when someone demonstrates its utility with some level of robustness going beyond the anecdotal BS that I read about on a monthly* basis. Nobody really understands neurochemistry. Most of psychiatry is flawed. The field spawned lobotomy. Personally, I think it's because the very base of psychiatry was tainted from the start and it never healed.

To me it sounds like the classic "fast person in the slow lane" problem, which can to many resemble disorders if they otherwise lack context. It very much reads to me so far as hyperactivity with down moments, even down to the "I was not challenged by my environment until I noticed it trying to" issue. Depression in the more mood swingy sort by comparison is more of a recharge than a permanent state of being, and chronic depression is with them through everything, while yours sounded more contextually based. 

Ok, say, for a moment I was suffering from hyperactivity. So what I call awakenings are just a consequence of hyperactivity. Is that what you mean? Or are you saying that my awakenings are not awakenings at all, but a mental disorder that I need to fix, and that this mental illness caused me to go from a D/C student to straight A student?

I don't really understand where you're coming from. Does any of this change my lived experience?

Depression tends to display itself as exhausted and withdrawn, which is how even Insomnia for example can come across as a false positive. Even a case of Bipolar I've seen was logged as simple Depression over how he did not ever come to their doctor in a manic state, lending to him being prescribed antidepressants that made everything worse.

Depression is not a real thing, imho. I think it's like "oh, you look sad. Have you been sad for a long time? Feeling unmotivated? *patient nods* Ok great, that means you 'have' depression, it means you are sad and unmotivated. Now let's add this third thing also here, this thing here says that you can't fix depression. You will be sad and unmotivated your entire life. It's called chronic depression. That will be 600$, plus the meds."

They're making stuff up. It's un-scientific.

Do you figure people with chronic depression, the thing you don't have, just aren't trying?

To clarify, I wouldn't say that everyone suffering from depression is not trying, but I now understand a bit better why you might think what I've said is difficult to digest. I'd say that they are choosing to be depressed, but they may not realize that they have a choice. It's like being in a room with a locked door and you don't know how to get out, but actually you have the key in your pocket. What they're trying to do, in this analogy, is forcing the door open, which is painful.

I would have to meet Buddha to know, but his life to me sounds like one of an escapist. He ran away from his responsibilities towards the very thing his father was trying to keep away from him, and had his father instead tried to force him to become a Holy Man we'd likely be talking about what kind of King Buddha was instead. 

I don't really know Paulo, but from a quick glance he seems to be one of the many people who left Christianity to pursue the stuff it expressly demonizes (yet in doing so legitimizes), just to return to it later on without having actually truly left it's framework. Having been raised Catholic furthers my presumption here, but again I have not looked into the man beyond this.

Yeah, but as a general rule, you don't think that people who've experienced awakenings are ADHD? So what's the difference?

I have also been diagnosed with ADD, but upon further work it was clearly part of something larger. In the field, if one disorders symptoms can be explained as coming from another source (such as depression from bipolar), then they are more likely to diagnose the person with that rather than writing down both. OCD interestingly enough also has much higher odds of piggiebacking hyperactivity problems, you rarely see it hit the more tired ones. 

The ADD range though often reports how you did over school, both for why their grades were bad and how they got better. Focus-problems from hyperactivity is very telltale, usually able to do well enough once given a path to hyperfocus on while otherwise struggling to steer where that hyperfocus goes (unless in key hobbies that have locked in).

What have you been diagnosed with?

I would consider this incremental improvement since the problem wasn't academic any further than being a symptom of the larger issue: Focus. People who don't feel challenged by their environment have a tendency of giving up on it, but that doesn't mean that once that changes that the slacker is suddenly smarter, just motivated, and just as quickly that motivation could tangent elsewhere if not burn out from going too hard.

I'd say it's subjective whether achieving focus and discipline overnight to the point of going from a shit student with dyslexia and learning disabilities to the best student in the school is a small or a large improvement. What, by contrast, would you say is a large improvement, say, giving an example from your own life? To define the metric.

Personally, I think you're influenced by the wysiati and are refusing to accept things that are outside of your own experience. I would, too. Ultimately, we will go in circles, like a carousel, since neither of us have each others' lived experiences.

an expert runner too? 

I wouldn't say I was an expert runner, but after that experience I told you about, I could run faster. The point is more that I was slow, and then I was not. It was a matter of a sudden realization that I could do things differently. That's how I define awakenings. I don't mean I got magic powers. It's rather mundane, and perhaps even obvious. That doesn't change the magnitude of the ripple-effects it had.

The part where you lose me is the "just", it's not like you just walk through a door and no longer need to blink, eventually it begins to sting and permanent sight loss can follow.

I think I understand why you got lost with the "just". This demonstrates my earlier point about the biological vs mental imperatives. I think you're elevating mental impulses to the level of biological imperatives. That stinging and permanent sight loss? That's what I call a biological imperative. That uncomfortable feeling that you get when you don't scratch a bug bite, and that feeling when you don't blink even though you don't need to? That's what I'd call a mental impulse. I do believe that you are compelled by biological imperatives. I don't believe you are truly compelled by mental impulses.

People with compulsions almost look pinched in some way, and the behavior often works as a circumvention for that sensation even if the behavior has nothing to do with it. Following this behavior however reinforces it, and in time can become automatic as a triggered response connected to said pinch, lending to people doing weird stuff like yelling out cuss words, pulling out their hair, hitting themselves in the chest, all kinds of things that are not related to the bigger problem.

You're preaching to the choir. I was formally diagnosed with that thing you're talking about. I had to hear about it for almost 10 years straight from several psychiatrists. I had all of that, organizing shit, tics, eating was a problem because I had to organize everything on the plate and then eat them one by one, walking around on patterned streets was a fun exercise is zig-zag, fake coughing, etc, etc, list goes on.

Friedrich said: 

If you want to talk about Buddhism, pm me.

will do

AppleGenius said: 

 

, especially when you don't want to take Neurochemistry into account.

I'm not disinclined to take neurochemistry into account any more than I am disinclined to believe in magic and fairies.

How are those even comparable? We already know how things like neurotransmitters work, while fairies continue to elude us with their invisibility and tricks while magic's more of a catchall for the yet to be understood. 

I'll take it into account when someone demonstrates its utility with some level of robustness going beyond the anecdotal BS that I read about on a monthly* basis.

Lets start with medication and drugs, how do you figure that affects people any more than a placebo? 

Nobody really understands neurochemistry. 

There is enough there to form a comparative basis through the introduction of outside agents (if not natural sources like a brain tumor) to allow for observable changes in the subject's function. That which is responsible has been identified far enough to be steered and even roughly imitated through a variety of means, and there is also neural mapping which continues to advance as time crawls on towards allowing for more thorough readouts over it. 

We understand for example how Endorphins work, as well as Dopamine, Epinephrine, Serotonin, etc. These can be adjusted in ways to change how a person behaves, regardless of their will, and through repeated trials in both humans and lab animals a canon of understanding has formed around it. We know that introducing something that was not once there will typically bring about expected results, and when it doesn't there's correlational data around that as well (such as how medication can have different effects on a Schizophrenic). 

Through something as simple as observing what part of the brain becomes stimulated by drugs, over seeing what parts light up, they can compare those synthetic results against naturally occurring similarities to attempt to understand where the problems root from, be it an area of underactivity, overactivity, or even a misfiring as we see with conditions like Synesthesia. 

AppleGenius said: 

To me it sounds like the classic "fast person in the slow lane" problem, which can to many resemble disorders if they otherwise lack context. It very much reads to me so far as hyperactivity with down moments, even down to the "I was not challenged by my environment until I noticed it trying to" issue. Depression in the more mood swingy sort by comparison is more of a recharge than a permanent state of being, and chronic depression is with them through everything, while yours sounded more contextually based. 

Ok, say, for a moment I was suffering from hyperactivity. So what I call awakenings are just a consequence of hyperactivity. Is that what you mean? Or are you saying that my awakenings are not awakenings at all, but a mental disorder that I need to fix, and that this mental illness caused me to go from a D/C student to straight A student?

TLDR; Hyperactivity and a lack of motivation changed to Hyperactivity and a cause for motivation, a common thing within the ADD spectrum of symptoms that supports your mention of having been diagnosed with it.

Words like "Epiphany" and "Awakening" do tend to float around more in circles where the people are more hyper, be it from taking speed or being that way naturally. With it they tend to show rapid surface level adaptations that are treated as a big dramatic shifts when compared to how big a hurdle someone with constant mental fatigue would have to climb. 

You're sitting here trying to act like going from D's and C's to A's overnight is you hitting the Avatar State, when to me it looks more like you were ahead of the curve already with no motivation to go through the motions until your ego took a hit, a problem you often see hit gifted children in limiting environments. 

I don't really understand where you're coming from. Does any of this change my lived experience?

It grants it a different context, one within a basis of seeking out symptoms through social cues and behavioral differences for surface level appraisal not too different from a Sherlock Holmes style Cold Read. 

Depression tends to display itself as exhausted and withdrawn, which is how even Insomnia for example can come across as a false positive. Even a case of Bipolar I've seen was logged as simple Depression over how he did not ever come to their doctor in a manic state, lending to him being prescribed antidepressants that made everything worse.

Depression is not a real thing, imho. I think it's like "oh, you look sad. Have you been sad for a long time? Feeling unmotivated? *patient nods* Ok great, that means you 'have' depression, it means you are sad and unmotivated. Now let's add this third thing also here, this thing here says that you can't fix depression. You will be sad and unmotivated your entire life. It's called chronic depression. That will be 600$, plus the meds."

This is not the tool's fault, but rather the fault over how they're used. Big Pharmaceuticals for example is not Psychiatry or Psychology itself, but they do subscribe to it in the name of profit by giving payouts to proliferate their drugs. 

Do you figure people with chronic depression, the thing you don't have, just aren't trying?

To clarify, I wouldn't say that everyone suffering from depression is not trying, but I now understand a bit better why you might think what I've said is difficult to digest. I'd say that they are choosing to be depressed, but they may not realize that they have a choice. It's like being in a room with a locked door and you don't know how to get out, but actually you have the key in your pocket. What they're trying to do, in this analogy, is forcing the door open, which is painful.

While some forms of lethargy can indeed be fed through things like self-indulgence and learned helplessness, and through that lifestyle it can become further enabled... there are forms where the person's body and/or mind are underproducing to such a point that it's as if a car running on fumes. 

This is typically why the field aims to separate Personality Disorders from the ones people are born with through a genetic predisposition. 

AppleGenius said: 

I would have to meet Buddha to know, but his life to me sounds like one of an escapist. He ran away from his responsibilities towards the very thing his father was trying to keep away from him, and had his father instead tried to force him to become a Holy Man we'd likely be talking about what kind of King Buddha was instead. 

I don't really know Paulo, but from a quick glance he seems to be one of the many people who left Christianity to pursue the stuff it expressly demonizes (yet in doing so legitimizes), just to return to it later on without having actually truly left it's framework. Having been raised Catholic furthers my presumption here, but again I have not looked into the man beyond this.

Yeah, but as a general rule, you don't think that people who've experienced awakenings are ADHD? So what's the difference?

No, but a general hyperactivity does lend to it. 

Faster thoughts have less time to correct themselves before moving onto the next one, which in less discerning people can lead to all sorts of weird Shaman-esque beliefs. You can see the same effects across the board from Adderall to Cocaine, the increase in mental speed if done confidently can become surprisingly resistant against fact-checking. 

By comparison the depression archetype tends to just be in differing stages of hopelessness, finding motivation over more raw needs like food and shelter. 

I have also been diagnosed with ADD, but upon further work it was clearly part of something larger. In the field, if one disorders symptoms can be explained as coming from another source (such as depression from bipolar), then they are more likely to diagnose the person with that rather than writing down both. OCD interestingly enough also has much higher odds of piggiebacking hyperactivity problems, you rarely see it hit the more tired ones. 

The ADD range though often reports how you did over school, both for why their grades were bad and how they got better. Focus-problems from hyperactivity is very telltale, usually able to do well enough once given a path to hyperfocus on while otherwise struggling to steer where that hyperfocus goes (unless in key hobbies that have locked in).

What have you been diagnosed with?

Across the entire career of it, or as of the latest most focused one? 

When they didn't know what was going on, and over the field's reluctance to diagnose people with incurable disorders as a near-latent bias, I was first put on record as ADD like many others of this cluster. The results showed the classic hyperactivity symptoms and the practitioner was not driven enough to pursue it further. 

While this diagnosis was helpful over me being able to then do 9 credit hour semesters rather than 12 hour ones in college, this like many others was too quickly diagnosed and was not the entire story. Eventually, through an extra credit set of therapy sessions, I was sent to a group of diagnosticians to be studied and was found to be very Schizoaffective, and they found my refusing medication to be debilitating for my function, but not enough to force it on me over how I was not otherwise appearing as a threat towards myself or others. Following that another diagnostician with pride as a handicap tried to identify me before reading my paperwork, and without even reading it he found me obvious enough over the manic episode I was in that day. 

I still think I am Schizophrenic, rather than Schizoaffective, but as I get older the ups and downs become more blatantly obvious. When I am in a Depression phase my behavior is very different from when I am up, to the point that I appreciate the "Depressed" phases over how they are less chaotic than the up ones. I however from attempting to self-analyze cannot tell how much of it is constant versus emotionally driven beyond how more hyper times make for more shit happening. 

I would consider this incremental improvement since the problem wasn't academic any further than being a symptom of the larger issue: Focus. People who don't feel challenged by their environment have a tendency of giving up on it, but that doesn't mean that once that changes that the slacker is suddenly smarter, just motivated, and just as quickly that motivation could tangent elsewhere if not burn out from going too hard.

I'd say it's subjective whether achieving focus and discipline overnight to the point of going from a shit student with dyslexia and learning disabilities to the best student in the school is a small or a large improvement. What, by contrast, would you say is a large improvement, say, giving an example from your own life? To define the metric. 

It's small, you had that potential all along but had no reason to use it. Your narrative is simply one of motivation shift, nothing within it yields it showing much else. 

The part where you lose me is the "just", it's not like you just walk through a door and no longer need to blink, eventually it begins to sting and permanent sight loss can follow.

I think I understand why you got lost with the "just". This demonstrates my earlier point about the biological vs mental imperatives. I think you're elevating mental impulses to the level of biological imperatives.

Depending on whether it is "Personality" or "Genetic" is a huge deal, a huge one. 

That stinging and permanent sight loss? That's what I call a biological imperative. That uncomfortable feeling that you get when you don't scratch a bug bite, and that feeling when you don't blink even though you don't need to? That's what I'd call a mental impulse.

They aren't that different, and someone with the relevant compulsion can tell themselves that the burn means less than failure, to the POINT OF BLINDNESS. 

I do believe that you are compelled by biological imperatives. I don't believe you are truly compelled by mental impulses. 

They are not that different, at least as far as the fence posts established by them. 

No one is capable of everything, potential is nurture in many ways. 

People with compulsions almost look pinched in some way, and the behavior often works as a circumvention for that sensation even if the behavior has nothing to do with it. Following this behavior however reinforces it, and in time can become automatic as a triggered response connected to said pinch, lending to people doing weird stuff like yelling out cuss words, pulling out their hair, hitting themselves in the chest, all kinds of things that are not related to the bigger problem.

You're preaching to the choir. I was formally diagnosed with that thing you're talking about. I had to hear about it for almost 10 years straight from several psychiatrists. I had all of that, organizing shit, tics, eating was a problem because I had to organize everything on the plate and then eat them one by one, walking around on patterned streets was a fun exercise is zig-zag, fake coughing, etc, etc, list goes on.

Do you figure your story translates identically towards everyone else faced with a similar enough problem? 

Lost interest after your avatar comment. You don't understand what I'm talking about and are bent on driving a narrative, and I'm no longer interested in participating. Your posts appear to me as not much more than you thinking I'm arrogant and being offended over it, and doubling down on something that from the get-go made no sense.

Sorry, but Buddha, Paulo Coelho, Robert Saltzmann, and everyone else who has experienced some sort of sudden awakening didn't do so because they suffer from ADHD. That's ridiculous.

I do still have interest in this, though:

Across the entire career of it, or as of the latest most focused one?

When they didn't know what was going on, and over the field's reluctance to diagnose people with incurable disorders as a near-latent bias, I was first put on record as ADD like many others of this cluster. The results showed the classic hyperactivity symptoms and the practitioner was not driven enough to pursue it further.

While this diagnosis was helpful over me being able to then do 9 credit hour semesters rather than 12 hour ones in college, this like many others was too quickly diagnosed and was not the entire story. Eventually, through an extra credit set of therapy sessions, I was sent to a group of diagnosticians to be studied and was found to be very Schizoaffective, and they found my refusing medication to be debilitating for my function, but not enough to force it on me over how I was not otherwise appearing as a threat towards myself or others. Following that another diagnostician with pride as a handicap tried to identify me before reading my paperwork, and without even reading it he found me obvious enough over the manic episode I was in that day.

I still think I am Schizophrenic, rather than Schizoaffective, but as I get older the ups and downs become more blatantly obvious. When I am in a Depression phase my behavior is very different from when I am up, to the point that I appreciate the "Depressed" phases over how they are less chaotic than the up ones. I however from attempting to self-analyze cannot tell how much of it is constant versus emotionally driven beyond how more hyper times make for more shit happening.

Have you ever considered that perhaps you are suffering from erotomania and are simply not aware of it?

Sometimes, erotomania can be misdiagnosed by therapists as schizoaffective, as both share some traits of both "delusions" and "depressions". Do you reckon you could have erotomania and that actually the reason you had trouble in school was because you were deeply convinced that a celebrity had fallen in love with you, being depressed over how you don't love them back but don't want to hurt them, and believed yourself to be of higher social status due to your unrequired and sometimes doubtful love affairs that you constantly questioned. It could all be happening subconsciously without your awareness. I think it could also explain why you often have a tendency to idealize and philosophize here on the forum. A classic symptom of erotomania.

Without more information to go on, it seems to remain a solid possibility, that your symptoms and behavior is caused by erotomania.

On a more serious note, I don't believe in any of that. I do think your thought process is abnormal, and I find it at times difficult to make progress with you, similar to someone else that I know who was diagnosed with schizophrenia. You tend to live in your own world, devoid of reason, logic, and without care for rigor. The method by which you form your opinions can be applied to form pretty much any opinion, which makes it flawed and I think explains some of your odd behavior. Frankly, you tie yourself in a knot very often, and it's hard to untangle. I can see some benefits, too, in that you do have some unique thoughts unlike most people I meet, and it's no doubt in part due to how you think. But your thoughts are difficult to disentangle and your provocativeness is not making it any easier. It sometimes feels like speaking with an echo chamber of one person, with the voice growing louder and more confident each time you speak.

AppleGenius said: 

Lost interest after your avatar comment. You don't understand what I'm talking about and are bent on driving a narrative, and I'm no longer interested in participating.

Just like the behavior that led to D's and C's?