Sociopath Community

So you're not a big fan of Marcus Aurelius huh?

I don't think this is what you want from life. You think you want it, like poor people think they want money, single people think they want to be in a relationship, and unsuccessful people think they want to be famous.

Once you get it, it's trash.

I've been wanting things my entire life, and what I've realized is that none of it made me happy. Nowadays, I just try to think of whether I enjoy the road or not. Do you enjoy the journey of trying to feel more positive?

It's a bit like how I wanted to be with my wife again, but now that we're back together, I feel less happy about it. Well, honestly, I think it's partly because I feel guilty because we had a long discussion where I was forced to lie that I am a man after all, against my will, because otherwise she made it clear she wouldn't be together with a woman.

AppleGenius said: 

So you're not a big fan of Marcus Aurelius huh?

I don't think this is what you want from life. You think you want it, like poor people think they want money, single people think they want to be in a relationship, and unsuccessful people think they want to be famous.

Once you get it, it's trash.

I've been wanting things my entire life, and what I've realized is that none of it made me happy. Nowadays, I just try to think of whether I enjoy the road or not. Do you enjoy the journey of trying to feel more positive?

It's a bit like how I wanted to be with my wife again, but now that we're back together, I feel less happy about it. Well, honestly, I think it's partly because I feel guilty because we had a long discussion where I was forced to lie that I am a man after all, against my will, because otherwise she made it clear she wouldn't be together with a woman.

positive emotions are never trash,  but like for example if you are a drug or alcohol addict you will end up surrounded by a trash of a life soo you have to be careful about what you allow to be a source of positive emotions for yourself

but even if on your pursuit of happiness your life did end up being trash,  always remember that happiness is a choice and no one and nothing can take that choice away from you-  not even life sucking from all outwards appearances can take the choice to be happy from yourself  but obviously if you look around and realize that your life has turned to trash  (*ahem* like myself,  it is time to attempt to rebuild your life)  and the first step for me is radically accepting that my life is trash rn,  but also being grateful that it could be much much worse  (because usually life could always be worse-  but grattitude is a struggle for people who cling to their pride-  if you are imprisoned you van be ungrateful that it is dark and damp and the food that you are given does not taste good and feeling miserable,  or you can be grateful and feeling positive that at least you are not being tortured and hope that you can find a way to escape or be set free soon)

is feeling miserable going to change your circumstances ?  nope,  but you also want to attempt to improve your circumstances obviously I mean that is a natural human desire to want to improve  you can be grateful for and also strive to improve

compassionatequeen said: 

positive emotions are never trash

I have an entire diatribe against some forms of positive emotions. 

Turncoat said: 

compassionatequeen said: 

positive emotions are never trash

I have an entire diatribe against some forms of positive emotions. 

lol you can go ahead and share if you'd like

compassionatequeen said: 

positive emotions are never trash,  but like for example if you are a drug or alcohol addict you will end up surrounded by a trash of a life soo you have to be careful about what you allow to be a source of positive emotions for yourself

 

but even if on your pursuit of happiness your life did end up being trash,  always remember that happiness is a choice and no one and nothing can take that choice away from you-  not even life sucking from all outwards appearances can take the choice to be happy from yourself  but obviously if you look around and realize that your life has turned to trash  (*ahem* like myself,  it is time to attempt to rebuild your life)  and the first step for me is radically accepting that my life is trash rn,  but also being grateful that it could be much much worse  (because usually life could always be worse-  but grattitude is a struggle for people who cling to their pride-  if you are imprisoned you van be ungrateful that it is dark and damp and the food that you are given does not taste good and feeling miserable,  or you can be grateful and feeling positive that at least you are not being tortured and hope that you can find a way to escape or be set free soon)

 

is feeling miserable going to change your circumstances ?  nope,  but you also want to attempt to improve your circumstances obviously I mean that is a natural human desire to want to improve  you can be grateful for and also strive to improve

I think it's fine to feel positive.

But my point is more that you should enjoy the moment instead of chasing over some vague feeling of happiness which is probably more up to your brain chemistry rather than being situational. Sometimes it's nice to be miserable. That's why I think fasting for a or two week is great, and so is being depressed. I'm happy when I'm depressed and feel connected with people when I'm lonely.

Nothing is permanent. To be happy is to be complacent. I've been so happy my entire life that I got depressed because of it, and now I never want to be happy again, until I feel like I've had enough of being depressed and complacency suits me fine again. Until then, I am in a state of impermanence and soul-searching, looking for the ultimate pain and negative emotions, which I embrace like my guardian angel. But it's so fleeting, I really just want to be depressed and miserable, but whenever I feel like I'm about to achieve that state, I get excited and so happy about it that it ends up ruining everything.

I feel like my goals are paradoxical.

AppleGenius said: 

compassionatequeen said: 

positive emotions are never trash,  but like for example if you are a drug or alcohol addict you will end up surrounded by a trash of a life soo you have to be careful about what you allow to be a source of positive emotions for yourself

 

but even if on your pursuit of happiness your life did end up being trash,  always remember that happiness is a choice and no one and nothing can take that choice away from you-  not even life sucking from all outwards appearances can take the choice to be happy from yourself  but obviously if you look around and realize that your life has turned to trash  (*ahem* like myself,  it is time to attempt to rebuild your life)  and the first step for me is radically accepting that my life is trash rn,  but also being grateful that it could be much much worse  (because usually life could always be worse-  but grattitude is a struggle for people who cling to their pride-  if you are imprisoned you van be ungrateful that it is dark and damp and the food that you are given does not taste good and feeling miserable,  or you can be grateful and feeling positive that at least you are not being tortured and hope that you can find a way to escape or be set free soon)

 

is feeling miserable going to change your circumstances ?  nope,  but you also want to attempt to improve your circumstances obviously I mean that is a natural human desire to want to improve  you can be grateful for and also strive to improve

I think it's fine to feel positive.

But my point is more that you should enjoy the moment instead of chasing over some vague feeling of happiness which is probably more up to your brain chemistry rather than being situational. Sometimes it's nice to be miserable. That's why I think fasting for a or two week is great, and so is being depressed. I'm happy when I'm depressed and feel connected with people when I'm lonely.

Nothing is permanent. To be happy is to be complacent. I've been so happy my entire life that I got depressed because of it, and now I never want to be happy again, until I feel like I've had enough of being depressed and complacency suits me fine again. Until then, I am in a state of impermanence and soul-searching, looking for the ultimate pain and negative emotions, which I embrace like my guardian angel. But it's so fleeting, I really just want to be depressed and miserable, but whenever I feel like I'm about to achieve that state, I get excited and so happy about it that it ends up ruining everything.

I feel like my goals are paradoxical.

0.0 cannot relate,  what you are describing seems to be like apathetic and not actual happiness  and what you are failing to understand is that I am aligning with what brings me feelings of happiness so that I can have even more happiness and it is working for me like 100 percent

what you are describing to me makes no sense to me, but like you said you are saying stuff that is paradoxical,  you seem to not even understand what happiness is because it is impossible for being happy to make you feel depressed and other stuff like you described

maybe work on not viewing things in life so paradoxically ?  another thing that you do this on is feeling like you are a woman like you mentioned in another thread,  but lying to your partner and agreeing with her that you are a man when you feel like you are a woman  like why would you do that  you are not even committing to and making up your mind on whichever gender you are  :p  kind of interesting but seems like confusing

Well I feel like my state of mind is paradoxical because I'm happy to be miserable. However, I don't really mind it at all. It's not like this is something I need to work on.

Indeed, I believe it would be beneficial for you to adopt a similar mindset. This way, you would achieve what you want from life, without having to suffer from wanting it.

Furthermore, it's not like I haven't made up my mind. I have. But it's nobody's business what gender I am. I am allowed to choose by myself, and I feel like if I'm being "forced" into it, then I am morally entitled to lie, a bit like if someone asked you if you were planning on becoming pregnant in a job interview; I think you can say no even if you plan to become pregnant.

AppleGenius said: 

Well I feel like my state of mind is paradoxical because I'm happy to be miserable. However, I don't really mind it at all. It's not like this is something I need to work on.

Indeed, I believe it would be beneficial for you to adopt a similar mindset. This way, you would achieve what you want from life, without having to suffer from wanting it.

Furthermore, it's not like I haven't made up my mind. I have. But it's nobody's business what gender I am. I am allowed to choose by myself, and I feel like if I'm being "forced" into it, then I am morally entitled to lie, a bit like if someone asked you if you were planning on becoming pregnant in a job interview; I think you can say no even if you plan to become pregnant.

I am not suffering from wanting it,  without working towards anything life is boring in my opinion

AppleGenius said: 

Well I feel like my state of mind is paradoxical because I'm happy to be miserable.

From others I've seen with that kind of problem, it tends to come over how they feel more of a sense of security over feeling right rather than feeling happy.