Sociopath Community

definitely post religious trauma,  yeah  I felt that the religion holds impossibly high standards for anyone and I was striving to meet them,  and that there was so much contradiction on what was right and wrong behavior to the point that I started not being able to figure out what was the right way to act or believe because there were so many contradictions and examples of people believing exact opposite things and being told that they were both right,  or in other cases being punished for something that in another part of the bible was just fine and permissible,  so it became crazy making and I lost a lot of my self-esteem and self confidence  but I am regaining it all back now  I still believe in God,  but the God that I believe in is benevolent and unconditionally loving and is not violent or "hateful of sinning" or some being who would burn people in an eternal hell forever because of them not understand how mass amounts of contradictions could ever be the actual truth about life and existence

oh and I am not going wild with sinning or anything lmao unless you count rebuilding my self-esteem and self confidence as doing that,  but yeah I am mostly just keeping to myself and learning IFS therapy

https://sociopathcommunity.com/Forum/Topic/25429/1/on-believing-other-people-s-list-of-right-and-wrong-and-truth-and

faggot didn't leave the site

welcome back legga

compassionatequeen said: 

definitely post religious trauma,  yeah  I felt that the religion holds impossibly high standards for anyone and I was striving to meet them,  and that there was so much contradiction on what was right and wrong behavior to the point that I started not being able to figure out what was the right way to act or believe because there were so many contradictions and examples of people believing exact opposite things and being told that they were both right,  or in other cases being punished for something that in another part of the bible was just fine and permissible,  so it became crazy making and I lost a lot of my self-esteem and self confidence  but I am regaining it all back now  I still believe in God,  but the God that I believe in is benevolent and unconditionally loving and is not violent or "hateful of sinning" or some being who would burn people in an eternal hell forever because of them not understand how mass amounts of contradictions could ever be the actual truth about life and existence

oh and I am not going wild with sinning or anything lmao unless you count rebuilding my self-esteem and self confidence as doing that,  but yeah I am mostly just keeping to myself and learning IFS therapy

My bad, I thought you lost your faith and stopped being Christian.

Nothing you said really clicks with me. I've never had self-esteem or confidence issues nor was I afraid of being punished, so I don't really understand what you're going through. I never took the bible literally, probably because of my Lutheran upbringing. Closest I've come to understanding you was when you said you don't want to associate with good people because you're afraid of corrupting them. How's that feel? Besides SC and God, do you have anyone you talk to about these things?

what ?  you are asking questions that seem like you interpreted what I wrote in like the opposite way of what what communicated,  no I am not a Christian anymore and yes I have people to talk to about this stuff with besides on here  I believe in God and an afterlife,  but not the Judaic or christian versions of God

also I said that not wanting to corrupt good people thing out of a borderline pd moment  (people who struggle with borderline pd tend to blame themselves for a lot of stuff that goes wrong in life that is not actually their fault),  I think that I am much more of a "good person" than most people these days

compassionatequeen said: 

I think that I am much more of a "good person" than most people these days

From my experiences, good people who are legitimate tend to think they aren't good enough, need to do more, etc. 

It's a humbleness thing. 

aaaaaand regardless of what Turncoat says I still hold to my same opinions about myself that I am more of a "good person" than most people these days

I am curious abiut your Lutheran upbringing influencing you to not take the bible literally,  can you explain some if that ?  like if it is all figurative to you,  then why even believe in the God of Christianity at all I am confused