1. Doesn't thrash in bed, or move much at all when sleeping. With me as a light sleeper that's been very nice.
2. Can cook, which while I could just live off of freezer food it offers some real flavor in my life without that 'too much sodium' taste you usually find when you go out to eat or order in.
3. Easy to co-exist with, which can actually be hard to find when it comes to synergy. Even a good roommate tends to bring out social allergies normally.
4. Is also into Psychology. From past relationships, I've seen that if they don't have an interest in it then they are just nodding and saying I'm smart baselessly, either through not really listening or taking my word for it at face value, so having someone who can keep up with the discussions if not throw things I didn't even think about validates my existence and gives a sense of scrutiny to it.
5. Introduced me to Astrology. Prior I was just linking the Derren Brown video that 'debunks' it, but with time and discussion this has evolved into something intensely analytical.
6. Can 'Netflix and Chill', over both quality stuff and B movie tiers with an active critical take on it rather than just passively absorbing it. We just blasted through the three Star Wars trilogies recently, a journey that would have been significantly more boring to do by myself, and just in general having a second pair of eyes that are aiming to nitpick just as much as my own is very refreshing and confirming.
7. Is about as inherently negative as I am. While people may go on about how you need to push yourself to be positive to make things work out and all that garbage, I've from this picked up that it's really more about individual synergy. We can sit here and rip something apart and have a good time over it together, even if it's an energy others might at first glance see as "negative".
8. We're able to argue. While I'm sometimes too sensitive to otherwise discuss some subject matter at points from still being mid-processing or whatever, the ability to unload like that is far, far preferable to the bottling/explosion model we see perpetuated as preferable.
9. Open communication. We can even just say weird shit or make sound effects and it feels very natural, but otherwise we've tried and succeeded at maintaining a model where we can just say stuff for the most part rather than figure how we'd need to say it for their benefit.
10. The sheer investment. It's been a long time, and it seems like it'll just keep going at this rate ♡
11. She forces me out of my assumed comfort zone. I'd never have traveled or tried nearly as much new food if it weren't for her pushing me to try new things, and these experiences have fundamentally changed the way I look at things.
12. She knows who's boss (her). It's really a lot of pressure off when I can just count on someone else to be in charge in a way where I can add input without having to be the one to decide what's happening. Past partners had varying levels of thinking I needed to be "The Man", while instead I can count on her to lift that weight from it being more natural for her.
13. She's the right kinda kinky. She understands that hurting me is what I want by seeing my reactions to it, and from it stewed something primal and powerful that is really easy for me to give in to without having to worry about it getting out of control. Pegging, clawing, striking me with things, grappling me with the zeal and fervor of the moment, the movements tend to be pretty synergistic rather than one person doing something for either just themselves or the other's benefit solely.
14. Similar tastes in music. At this point we've now been together for so long that much of what we've found has been found at the same time, if not one of us being the first one the other shows it to.
15. Appreciates the arts, both for it's passion and it's display. While she might not be the first person to insist we go to MoMA, she can look at art as more than it's utility, she can feel it.
16. Very passionate emotions. As someone who mirrors their immediate company when it comes to social intensity I love that I can have her be like a fountain of passions, an outlet for my own feelings that otherwise just circulate inwardly with not much of a place to go. It's through her that I can more readily explore my own feelings, rather than have them moving about chaotically in my head with only me to gauge it. Her excitement is infectious, and her other emotions have me explore areas I'd not touch on as easily alone.
17. Understanding of my disorder. A lot of people tend to either not see what's going on, either by diminishing the impacts of what they're seeing to seem as something smaller or by outright ignoring it, and consequently can be surprised by an episode when it's otherwise playing in front of them like it's something out of a horror movie. She doesn't do that, and is the first partner I've had to be able to be fairly casual when I'm acting off and helpful when I've needed it.
18. She's a second opinion I can trust. I can look at what she's saying and see it as a frank delivery, rather than have to sit there with everything the person's saying and have to decipher what sorts of filters it's going through. ...
19. She's my seeing-eye human. It's so easy to be lost when I'm by myself, in the literal sense geographically (even with a GPS) and for a sense of direction for myself. ...
20. She's the driver. I can't drive a car, and when it's just me I'm the kind of person to just ride a bike everywhere. With her in my life we've been able to do road trips, camp in various places ...
21. Deep talks. Lots of them, lots and lots of them. It's never not refreshing.
22. Her base of knowledge. It's very different from mine, focusing mostly on matters of culture and history with mine more centered on media and the theater of life.
23. We share a shit ton of in-jokes and references, practically like it's our own language. It gives other people the impression that we're a lump sum, which in some ways can suck when we want to say something the other person isn't saying but otherwise is kinda comfy, like a soul buddy going parallel on the same portion of the timeline.
24. I can relax and be gross around her when it's just us, and vice versa. It's nice to be able to wake up and just be your unkempt self with another who's on the same page and is used to it as part of coexisting.
25. We're both feminist. Sounds superficial, but it's refreshing to both be able to give each other a look when we both recognize the error they just made when it comes from a Patriarchal leaning.
26. Body Language and Eye-Conversations. A lot of people are aphasic to body language, micro-expressions, and even what the use of words could mean for their subtext. She and I seem to have similar sensitivities to visual stimulus, and as such can see things surfacing from each other where others could have missed it. It adds a lot to the Deep Talks, especially when we can trust where it's coming from and see how and why it was said from having a strong, familiar understanding of each other. It also allows us to exchange our thoughts to one another without necessarily having to wait until after to vocalize it, which in a weird way can help with feeling less alone to see a shared opinion occur naturally.
27. Ultimately wants what's best for me, and vice versa. While normally people talking to one another will frame it through how it will benefit themselves, we've been together long enough to see benefiting the other as the same as benefiting ourselves. When planning a trip or event or something it's hard to not frame it through wondering how she'd respond to it, not as a nervous hang up but rather as a reflection of my own ability to enjoy it vicariously through her as well as through myself.
28. I feel happy just being around her, even this many years later. While we've settled into habits and expectations for each other somewhat, there's still a glow to it that isn't there when around other people.
29. She knows how to challenge me, rather than just be cowed by my presentation. If I say something strange she will ask me for clarity, rather than how others could just sit there and feel like they understood it while being off base or feeling like it'd be simpler to not ask.
30. As an independent opinion, we tend to fall on a lot of similar conclusions. Rather than have to sell my point in many cases, she's often times saying what was on my mind on her own or vice versa. Again, this is very nice for confirming my existence and the ideas conjured within it; the idea that someone else could come to these conclusions without my intervention, without my steering, shows me that it's not just of me, that it wasn't just thought because I was otherwise convincing or able to sell the idea.
