Sociopath Community

Blanc said: 

When someone with a debilitating trauma disorder talks about “the worst form of dissociation” they’ve experienced and to me on the scale of dissociation things I’ve experienced, that was at level one out of ten, one being the least severe. 

Do you often try to pull rank against other victims of trauma to validate your own? 

If you use Youtube as your basis it's no wonder you think you're fucked up. 

I don’t know how to talk about this without getting cancelled for it, it’s such a sensitive topic and everyone gets incredibly mad and starts throwing tomatoes at you the second that you want to say something on your mind 

You're attempting to invalidate their struggle, of course they'll get mad. 

but can we all just grow up for a second here and let me joke about my experiences with mental illness or can we not? 

"But can we all just grow up for a second and let me talk about me? It's no fun listening to them talk about it when it could be me."

I genuinely have no ill intentions here and want to say cryptid’s experiences as that being “the worst” is valid. And I am not trying to compare, or whatever you call it like “one upping” “trauma battling” like “oh I have it so much worse 😢😫 poor ME” 

You made a rating system and put her at a 1, when you'd likely put yourself at at least a 5 based on how you worded it. 

I care so little about that you have no fucking idea. But I want to say is that literally, people with trauma invalidate themselves a lot. Calling myself out here. 

You care enough to make a topic about it. 

and realize I have experienced what they have at a slightly more extreme level.

Right there, this is you comparing and ranking yourself for validation. 

This to you is an ego flex. 

I’m over here with symptoms 100x worse than that

This too. 

to me, this is just a normal day. I mean that literally. I wake up like this everyday if my life. 

This too. 

Blanc said:

I forget that it’s not normal because it is so normal to me. That most people would be shocked to see this happening to themselves, they would speak out about it and ask for help, they would say that something is wrong.

Bruh you talk about how abnormal you are all the time, and watch these kinds of videos constantly. 

I forget that what I go through is like, difficult, n stuff.

I think you forget a lot more than that... 

Blanc said: 

I know people will make fun of me and bully me for sharing this like oh ur being a victim bla bla bla

No, you're being the antagonist this time, using how fucked up you believe yourself to be as a badge of honor that you can use to say others don't have real problems. 

You've turned 'Woe is Me' into a bragging right. 

Basically what I’m saying is, I’ve had to work really hard for my happiness, I’m not, a victim I am like, telling myself, you are STRONGER than you THINK 

What work did you even have to do, look up on Google where the new Starbucks is? 

i just wanted to share because I was “like realizing stuff” (Kylie Jenner, 2016) and I think other people should too but also this is just a medium to express myself in freely but people inevitably judge you because it’s people and that’s what people do lol

In other words: "I recognized these things about myself before they were cool, and I'm way worse and more experienced with it than they are. Why do they get taken more seriously than meeeee?" 

Blanc said: 

So I was watching this video 

 

 

When someone with a debilitating trauma disorder talks about “the worst form of dissociation” they’ve experienced and to me on the scale of dissociation things I’ve experienced, that was at level one out of ten, one being the least severe. 

 

 

 

 Hi. I just want to understand what you're saying. If you're referring to the video you shared, do you mean the "grey amnesia" they're talking about is level 1 dissociation to you? And if so, what is a level 5 and 10 for you? It seems like the next step (level 2) would be black out amnesia and I can't imagine it going further than that.

I experience what I consider a low level of dissociation almost constantly, all day, every day, which I think of as being one step behind myself or one step away from being completely lucid or "in the present moment." It only gets worse if I end up outside my window of tolerance or if something specifically triggers my trauma, and I only come out of it for moments at a time sometimes randomly, because something out of the ordinary surprises me, or because I take time to meditate (which doesn't work every time).

However, when I was younger I was frequently experiencing more extreme dissociation and derealization, so I categorized dissociation in steps away from being fully connected to my body and reality with fully detaching from/leaving your body and amnesia being at the worst end of it.

blanc is a liar who fakes trauma and abuse for attention.

she lied about her brother committing suicide (she doesn't even have a brother) and she lies about her dad beating her and then giving covert tap signal with her index finger to the police officers, to tell them she is not safe. LMAO

Ok 👌  well, I’m not a perfect person (god forbid) 

1. Im not talking about them being less severe or significant, im talking about my experience of symptoms and where I place them on severity lot me. It may be different to everyone, and I am not trying to invalidate their experiences 

2. it comes across that way and that’s why I shouldn’t of made that thread and I knew that going into it 

3. I don’t know why I made it anyways knowing it would be received negatively, and I should probably try to find better ways of communicating what I’m thinking without mentioning others trauma symptoms 

4. the reason I watch people in the community with mental health problems is because it helps you feel not so alone and more normal, not to compare 

5. The reason why I made up a dead brother is because at the time blanc was a fictional character which I made up entirely, and though it was derived from some real parts of myself (and was a medium to express myself in, meaning some parts of me would be recognizable in blanc) blanc was a persona of its own. This was my way of dissociating from what *actually* happened and instead feeling what I felt in a way that was more safe and less overwhelming placing it onto fictional traumas. It was fiction as a coping mechanism and no different than an author writing a book or novel, but rather for entertainment it was a coping mechanism for me and the extreme anxiety I was dealing with, and a way to escape or detach from it (dissociation) 

6. I don’t expect you to understand, or be willing to, or be willing to “forgive” me for being like that. But I have grown up a bit since then, I was 20, and now I am 27, so it’s been quite a while 

7. I’ve made it quite clear multiple times that’s what this account was at that time 

8. it wasn’t for attention necessarily but rather a weird form of catharsis that obviously wasn’t healthy but I was losing my mind, and now I am doing a lot better and am in a much healthier place where I don’t feel the need to do so much fictional writing 

9. The reason for that is that it took me a while and a lot of healing and coping/ growing but I eventually came to a place where I knew myself better and sort of came into myself enough where I could be genuine and felt grounded in that sense of self- where as before when I would write fiction, the reason it was so easy to get lost in it is because I had no genuine sense of self. Making something concrete because i couldn’t remember who I was I guess was something I weirdly sort of needed, even if it wasn’t totally real, to carry me through a very difficult time and to cope with it so it wasn’t so overwhelming or felt so “out of control.” 
10. doing a lot better now and the symptoms I’m talking about though I do still experience them like I said on a daily basis, I have healed and grown a lot in other regards, the basic core symptoms of ptsd may not go away entirely but I have gotten much better at dealing with them with the ways my therapist has recommended so that they are not debilitating or overwhelming emotionally, and don’t take up a lot of my life or cause suffering/hindrance to my life anymore 

11. what I’m trying to say is I went through a difficult time but it’s been 7 years now, and I am *okay* now I want you to know that I am not by any means any where near the place I was in 

12. I just didn’t realize whilst I was in it how “bad” it really was and would invalidate my diagnosis constantly questioning it’s validity or severity, and believing I shouldn’t be so debilitated and should be more “normal” when in reality I should of just given myself more credit for what I was going through, I just couldn’t see it that way at the time for whatever reason 

13. but looking back on it in retrospective now I am able to see, what was normal and what wasn’t- where as before when you’re *in* it, it’s harder to lay it all out and see it that way so clearly. 

sorry for wasting your time and like, this was just a vent dump and honestly, pay no mind to it, I’m just being stupid you’re right. 

I apologize

Blanc said: 

Ok 👌  well, I’m not a perfect person (god forbid) 

That's kind of always been your point; How perfect you aren't. 

However in this case you've begun doing a 1 through 10 scaling to justify how theirs are beneath yours.