Sociopath Community

i think she's an awful person, very primitive, boring and 2D with only one MO: get attention

Glad we had this discussion

Blanc said: 

Glad we had this discussion

 It was due.

damn geedy natasha, the thread is about blanc and she's describing herself how needy

@27:32 - @37:48 

TLDR: just read the yellow highlighted portion.

"the illusion of intimacy is formed because celebrities offer peculiar affirmations of belonging recognition and meaning." 

"imagine how strong this connection has become through social media." 

"social media has provided the illusion of intimacy and imbedded it into our everyday lives." 

"though this expanded domain of interactivity, there are nw substantial elements of this para-social relationship which no longer look like the simulation of a conventionally social relationship at all." 

"if anything, social media has made intimacy a bit of a problem." 

"the way she's been treated by her fans is a perfect case for how intimacy on social media can work against the celebrities favor." 

"she managed to stand out because of her - striking sincerity in front of the camera, she discussed everything from mental health, to her sex life, to her inability to live a fully sustainable life style." 

*she uploaded a video diary about clips of her life in 2020 about her mental health* "and this was met with a very bizarre response, comments ranged everywhere from why didn't you wear a mask when you blew out the candles on your birthday cake to, why are you romanticizing the pandemic, to you should get therapy" 

"very quickly after videos about Ashley began to pop up regarding where she sits on the 'problematic spectrum' and basically picking apart every apparent indiscretion she's ever made in her life." 

entailing things like, "Ashley isn't as sustainable as she says she is, Ashley comes from a wealthier family than she lets on, that she, romanticizes mental illness, and makes too many sex jokes." 

"online celebrities are often the subject of criticism, something about the critiques against Ashely feel unbearably intimate, beyond the illusion of the level of intimacy you get with normal celebrities." 

"at some point, this healthy interest crosses over into a sense of ownership, as the audience takes up a more paternalistic and controlling position over the celebrity." 

"David c Giles finds that online celebrities are cultivating fundamentally different relationships with their followers than the traditional celebrity." 

"this is evident with bloggers who confirm their authenticity through the performance of intimacy like engaging in a conversational dialogue with the camera." 

"the parasocial relationship between you tubers and fans is reinforced by moments of vulnerability on the part of the celebrity, particularly in the form of confession." 

"it's during these moments that viewers believe they have access to the inner reality of the celebrity, and we the gap between blogger and viewers narrowing." 

*about a subreddit dedicated to ashsley* "the sheer volume of nit picking and over analyzing makes it look like this is the consensus in her fan base. the creator of the subreddit locket it due to toxicity and obsessiveness." 

"the growing culture of the accountability fandom seems to suggest that- because she has a platform, Ashley should publicly own up to her minor personal mistakes. but a lot of these perceived mistakes are a facet of being a human being. we are full of contradictions and flaws. Ashley doesn't talk about her mistakes because she still operates as a private person. since her fame was acquired so quickly and through unconventional means. she doesn't have a PR team, nor is she media trained. she hasn't adapted her life to celebrity status because she doesn't live the life of a celebrity." 

"it looks like this atmosphere amongst her fans may be getting to Ashely since she seems to have taken a hiatus and appears to only be operating on instagram, but I'd probably leave YouTube too if I received this amount of condescending animosity disguised as 'concern'."

"performances of a private authentic self are what is valued in social media celebrification through strategies of connectedness, accessibility, and intimacy." 

"because Ashley was so accessible, it gave them an illusion of access into her personal life, which devolved into an illusion of ownership." 

"her fans think that she owes them an explanation." 

"and is this okay in any other context? no, absolutely not." (no matter what justification) 

"all the media's power to harass celebrities has been placed into the public. we underestimate micro-influences who recieve all the hate and criticism of the public without the means to deal with it." 

So basically, because I have made myself accessible, and was very open and vulnerable at one point on this forum, it sort of led to a lot of eyes on me, unexpectedly. I was only 20 when I came to this website, and I was just looking for a place to be myself, and explore the person I was becoming as well as my past which I hadn't reflected on much before that point. 

I wanted personal connection, sure, and that was my motivation of openness here. I wanted people to feel connected as well, or like they could relate, because there was an alleviation of the alienation I felt, in just the thought that maybe I was accessing someone who felt similarly at some point in their life. 

A desire for connection is part of the human condition. 

After that point however, I wasn't really expected to be grilled in the fashion that I have been for several years, constantly put under a microscope, held to unrealistically high standards in comparison to the other members of this forum (it doesn't make sense why I am the only one, but if you look at this study on the para-social relationship between viewers and people who make themselves accessible, it will explain why there is this, double standard.) People hold me to higher standards than they hold themselves. 

And, it can be really overwhelming sometimes, I do enjoy participating here and connecting, in the ways that I feel comfortable now... I enjoy sharing certain parts of myself with people, and connecting with them over the things we enjoy. 

But, as far as, handling the onslaught of yeah, constant criticism and just, never ending paragraphs, arguments, threads, etc, after years of the commentary from people about YOU, you just kind of don't know what to do anymore other than just quit responding. Because the more you GIVE, the more it will just be spun up into some other story, and evolve into this huge rumor circulating that isn't even true and everyone believes and start attacking you with it and it becomes this huge huge thing again. 

So that's why, like, people get mad because I "ignore" them but, you have to look at yourself and how you have spoken to me, and why maybe I don't feel that I have a close personal relationship with you. 

It's understandable that you feel you have one with me, or like you know me, because, I have somehow managed to create that illusion that you feel like, you know me as a person, because I've 'made myself accessible' like I said but- 

You have to keep in mind I don't know *you* the same way, I haven't developed a relationship with you, and there's so much that comes out of my responses, I'm often scared to engage. 

People post pictures of me in places, and quotes of things I said out of context and private DM's with me, publicly. The write paragraphs, some days they like me, some days they hate me. But there will always be reasons why. 

And it often has to do with perception. 

I thought, that by being quieter, it would give less to perceive, and I would fall into a category where I wouldn't be so heavily scrutinized. 

But, you can't really *undo* it, once you've been, placed there by other people because they feel that accessibility to you so, it doesn't really help things, the quieter I am- the more people spin up, about me- the more they post quotes of things I said, the more paragraphs I get. I say too much I'm overbearing, I say too little, I'm ignoring you. And there is this sort of, inability to win all the time in everything I do- so I just have to do what I please and what I know I"m happy with. 

There have even been people who have threatened to harm me, kill me, kill my dog, etc. There is an intense scrutiny of, my entire identity and who I am as a person, every little thing I do, everything about me. Everything, from my values, my morals, to things like, my weight and the way I should have my hair. I say one thing and suddenly I'm the worst person. A three second moment outside in a parking lot when I said one sentence, with my now ex partner Tryp has been blown out of proportion and banged over my head for the last three years. And talked about on every platform SC'ers populate at great length. It's constantly brought up. 

And that's just one of the countless things that are used as fodder for, drama. I asked Tryp, I said, why are they doing this, you know. Like, why, are they obsessed with us, etc. And he said, "they just want drama." 

I'm not really equipped for this and wasn't expecting it, and, I struggled to wrap my head around all of it sometimes. Just, like, why. It's hard to explain but. Like, I didn't get why people are so fixated with every little thing I do. I just, wasn't prepared for it, I was thrown in blind. I'm just, a person. 

So yeah, I'm not 'ignoring' you, it's just that my trust with opening up to people here has been limited and, I'm just likely, not comfortable, with you in the same way you feel you are with me. And you feel, entitled to this relationship with me when, I don't feel I have a relationship with you on that personal of a level. 

I can't really move a muscle without, some sort of, weird speculation or judgement that comes out of it- and not even not moving at all, is enough. 

I don't have a single iota of hate or negative feelings toward anyone here, and I would love to have personal relationships with all of you and to feel like you are all friends. Sometimes it does feel that way. And then other days, I am rudely reminded or awakened to the fact that, it unfortunately isn't that way, though I wanted it to be. 

I've chosen to have some boundaries, whether it was conscious or subconscious I dont know. But yeah, I've, just had to put up some boundaries and just, live my life and move forward rather than getting, too bogged down in the never ending debate of my character. 

AizenTheTitanic said: 

Being a white knight won't make her fall for you, she's more interested in alcoholic old men scammers sorry

From what I can tell she likes a good listener who doesn't add much if any input. 

And while i totes get the para-social thing and how you feel that you are scrutinized and mostly agree that you do get a lot of shit for simply sharing your thoughts it's important to remember how and why it started

Lying

It's not like you can help it, it's natural and that doesn't make you a bad person but to ask a group of people that have been for years picking out inconsistencies in stories, have recognized patterns, to ask them not to call you out when they catch you lying is quite frankly rude. 

During a time when you began here people were willing to accept you, most people here having shared their own stories of abuse with you and had been vulnerable with you expected perhaps the same back, instead you chose to lie and that's what started the scrutiny. 

When you say that a 3 second moment in your life has been blown out of proportion, sure maybe but it's part of a larger story that you were willing to share in your outrage about tryp, one that you repeat quite a bit when you were angry because you felt lesser than when he walked in front of you. It's not really blown out of proportion, it's just a casual observation that you want to act tough but are scared of being in an empty lot at night. That's all 

People here have told you not to blog post your life, multiple times. Not to share social medias because it's easy to find your family and match stories you've told us vs reality. 

You choose to do it and embellish them at times and when proven wrong, you double down.

Lenalee said: 

And while i totes get the para-social thing and how you feel that you are scrutinized and mostly agree that you do get a lot of shit for simply sharing your thoughts it's important to remember how and why it started

Lying

Aren't we supposed to have sympathy for her if it's Munchhausens/Hypochondriasis/whatever strain of MPD she's on this week? 

During a time when you began here people were willing to accept you, most people here having shared their own stories of abuse with you and had been vulnerable with you expected perhaps the same back, instead you chose to lie and that's what started the scrutiny. 

I really saw it more as a lack of reciprocation. This website's got plenty of liars who don't want to listen to other people's input on who they are, but when another is sharing she 95% of the time isn't really listening, if anything attempting to overpower their presence so it can be about her again. 

You choose to do it and embellish them at times and when proven wrong, you double down.

This is the portion where it gets more interesting imo: She gets more desperate to prove her perspective. 

Turncoat said: 

Lenalee said: 

And while i totes get the para-social thing and how you feel that you are scrutinized and mostly agree that you do get a lot of shit for simply sharing your thoughts it's important to remember how and why it started

Lying

Aren't we supposed to have sympathy for her if it's Munchhausens/Hypochondriasis/whatever strain of MPD she's on this week? 

Are we? 

I don't think you're supposed to expand the delusion

During a time when you began here people were willing to accept you, most people here having shared their own stories of abuse with you and had been vulnerable with you expected perhaps the same back, instead you chose to lie and that's what started the scrutiny. 

I really saw it more as a lack of reciprocation. This website's got plenty of liars who don't want to listen to other people's input on who they are, but when another is sharing she 95% of the time isn't really listening, if anything attempting to overpower their presence so it can be about her again. 

She can listen but at times she feels the need to fit in and makes up lies i don't know if it is about overpowering others, but i do know there is a sense of wanting to belong 

You choose to do it and embellish them at times and when proven wrong, you double down.

This is the portion where it gets more interesting imo: She gets more desperate to prove her perspective. 

 Admitting you're wrong can be very hard