Did that and the result was that after I achieved the desirable result I lost interest and moved on to the next <<victim>>.
It's more like addiction to the thrill of making it happen than the actual attachment its self, hence why I think it's psychological thrills instead of NPD supply.
I've seen a lot of people go on about this sense of strength that comes from ensuring all attachments are one-sided, especially when it's over their attracted-to sex. It's similar to the idea of why some people feel like they do the dumping instead of waiting long enough to be dumped.
It seems lonely and excessively guarded to me. Vulnerability is the hardest thing to be able to show someone, and therefor the bravest imo.
I don't have any vulnerabilities to vent anymore or to share, besides for nature/seals/ political ideologies I don't feel anything for others or my past.
I don't feel loneliness either, I got rid of all these deficiencies all these years after a lot of training/suffering/experiments, especially the romantic one.
I would like to see a woman making me attached instead but I don't see a person capable of doing it at this point btw, cause I was never attached to people as people, only the idea I wanted to molded them in.
I never got dumped in my life but I gotten cheated once, idc about it anymore though cause loyalty is impossible for women and that's okay.
I want to meet some malignant NPD mommy and make her become an empathetic fuzzy tradwife then drop her.
But I think that actually malignant women don't exist, like all the brutality they commit is out of weakness.
Sadly I'm not bi either so there's that. I just got to seek numbers instead of quality.
I think you're very normal and thoughts of wanting to be admired are very normal.... Most people want to be admired and cherished constantly. Most people want to be put on the pedestal by those they are attracted to.. And normal people find it addictive.
I would be lying if I said I didn't like being admired and cherished... But I also find myself wanting to be rid of those feelings. I feel like it's the mindless masses who put the rich and famous on the pedestal. What's the point of being admired... by those you consider retarded.
I don't despise the mindless masses.. but the dependence of my self-worth on them makes me feel... confused. I feel like I should not care.
I must be a rampant narcissist...? I would like to think I have a realistic picture of myself, my strengths, and my weaknesses. I am, demonstratedly, among some of the most successful people, and I am very likely in the top 0.1%, perhaps 0.01% of the smartest people. I've never met anyone smarter than me or as smart as me.... I'm really bored to be honest by the swarm of morons around me, but those who know me well know they can count on me and they know I'm not full of shit.
I don't have any vulnerabilities to vent anymore or to share, besides for nature/seals/ political ideologies I don't feel anything for others or my past.
Based on your posts here about those you felt like you wronged in the past, this seems like a continuity error in your character.
The only people who usually have nothing to vent about usually have something developmentally wrong with them.
I don't feel loneliness either, I got rid of all these deficiencies all these years after a lot of training/suffering/experiments, especially the romantic one.
You seem like you still experience it to me, you still have social appetites that demand you talk to people, that demand you make comparisons.
I would like to see a woman making me attached instead but I don't see a person capable of doing it at this point btw, cause I was never attached to people as people, only the idea I wanted to molded them in.
It'd take practicing a different philosophy for a bit, which tends to only be genuine if watching someone else succeed within it strikes any chords.
I never got dumped in my life but I gotten cheated once, idc about it anymore though cause loyalty is impossible for women and that's okay.
What makes it impossible? If anything it's men I see having trouble keeping it in their pants.
I want to meet some malignant NPD mommy and make her become an empathetic fuzzy tradwife then drop her.
But I think that actually malignant women don't exist, like all the brutality they commit is out of weakness.
I dunno man, I've met a lot of strong women from putting off the sorts of signals that I do.
Honestly though I tend to see men as the bitchier gender over their cultural position of privilege, they often can't even see the problems that are right in front of them from enough of it not applying to them. Men even commit the vast majority of violent crimes from having less self-control and can't stand nearly as much physical nor emotional pain on average, clearly they're the weaker sex. At points it's like they don't even know how to have a conversation.
