Sociopath Community

If you answer my question, the recommendation changes accordingly.

The sex was amazing. Best sex I ever had. I could really build trust and open up. In the end I think we both saw clearly that we are very different and long term it won't work out. I don't have a purely materialistic mindset and I think it is garbage. Nevertheless there were so many good things like that I could trust and open up and felt safe etc even just for the moment and even while I was thinking that it wouldn't last. I felt like feeling that someone else likes or loves me and wants to be with me was healing me. Now of course doubts are coming etc and I think maybe I can't have something like this never again. But the time together was also very ambivalent, because i knew it wouldn't work out and I just would wait until the other person would realize it. And then it happened just like I thought. We both kinda said it but I knew a long time. Which caused me suffering. And now even though I know we were not compatible I kind of tend to personalize it and sometimes think it is because I am broken or mentally ill etc why it didn't work out. It is like a fight between two opposite forces in my head. I doubt we will stay friends. For that we are too different, even though I think I would profit from it. 

Also it was a fuck up dynamic where I was the one adapting until I couldn't do it anymore because my life is my show. Shit when I ranted about it to my therapist I really made a Freudian slip and instead of saying her name I said 'my mother' one time

Cut all ties.  Reset yourself.  Go through whatever emotional upheavals you need to regain your perspective.  Do things you enjoy for yourself.  Get over it.  Anything special was made up in your head.

Buttered Toast said: 

 Anything special was made up in your head.

 everyone is replaceable

Buttered Toast said: 

Anything special was made up in your head.

See this is where you lose me. 

Turncoat said: 

Buttered Toast said: 

Anything special was made up in your head.

See this is where you lose me. 

 I don’t know how explicit you need me to be.  On the one hand, this point is made in this way, in this tone, more in response to the “cope” aspect for the individual.  (It isn’t the entirety of my own personal belief.)

On the other hand, it is also meant to lead one to examine the self and realize that at least half the responsibility for any feelings someone gives you is your own.  The way someone makes you feel says as much about you as it may about them.  These feelings may be immune to self-examination when in proximity to their source.

Realizing much of what makes someone special to you is what you feel and think about them isn’t really devalued as a result.  If anything, regaining perspective here gets you in touch with your own feelings, learn what you really want and what you may need to change to find it.

Buttered Toast said: 

I don’t know how explicit you need me to be.  On the one hand, this point is made in this way, in this tone, more in response to the “cope” aspect for the individual.  (It isn’t the entirety of my own personal belief.)

On the other hand, it is also meant to lead one to examine the self and realize that at least half the responsibility for any feelings someone gives you is your own.  The way someone makes you feel says as much about you as it may about them.  These feelings may be immune to self-examination when in proximity to their source.

Realizing much of what makes someone special to you is what you feel and think about them isn’t really devalued as a result.  If anything, regaining perspective here gets you in touch with your own feelings, learn what you really want and what you may need to change to find it.

You're so..... Unspecific. You think you can just reguriate some crap and expect others to fill in the gaps for you. While it may happen every now and then.. who has that kind of time. You should first make an effort to be someone worth listening. Once you're George Orwell... you can write any bullshit and people will read it.

Buttered Toast said: 

Turncoat said: 

Buttered Toast said: 

Anything special was made up in your head.

See this is where you lose me. 

I don’t know how explicit you need me to be.  On the one hand, this point is made in this way, in this tone, more in response to the “cope” aspect for the individual.  (It isn’t the entirety of my own personal belief.)

Oh okay, so it's meant to be wrong? 

On the other hand, it is also meant to lead one to examine the self and realize that at least half the responsibility for any feelings someone gives you is your own.  The way someone makes you feel says as much about you as it may about them.  These feelings may be immune to self-examination when in proximity to their source.

Then it's not entirely in your own head by your own explanation, but rather half-way in your head? 

Realizing much of what makes someone special to you is what you feel and think about them isn’t really devalued as a result.  If anything, regaining perspective here gets you in touch with your own feelings, learn what you really want and what you may need to change to find it.

I feel like this explanation is attempting to devalue the experience that led to it in the first place. It's through what we've experienced with other people that gives us new tangent points for the next stages. 

Then again I tend to get lost in other people. The only room I see for 'in my own head'-isms is over expectancy of patterns, otherwise it's moreover what I witness through the other's eyes. 

Turncoat said: 

Buttered Toast said: 

Turncoat said: 

Buttered Toast said: 

Anything special was made up in your head.

See this is where you lose me. 

I don’t know how explicit you need me to be.  On the one hand, this point is made in this way, in this tone, more in response to the “cope” aspect for the individual.  (It isn’t the entirety of my own personal belief.)

Oh okay, so it's meant to be wrong? 

This is opinionated wording.  Remember my request for the OP to answer my questions in order to give recommendations?  This is tailored based on their (arguably a lack of a) response.  They asked for copes.  The tone may have been negative-seeming, but some disentanglement should be made to consider.

On the other hand, it is also meant to lead one to examine the self and realize that at least half the responsibility for any feelings someone gives you is your own.  The way someone makes you feel says as much about you as it may about them.  These feelings may be immune to self-examination when in proximity to their source.

Then it's not entirely in your own head by your own explanation, but rather half-way in your head? 

No.  I admit I could have added the caveat “to you” in regards to their specialness.  Apologies.  It was more trying to explain which half is “in your head” and that someone’s specialness to you is in that half.

Realizing much of what makes someone special to you is what you feel and think about them isn’t really devalued as a result.  If anything, regaining perspective here gets you in touch with your own feelings, learn what you really want and what you may need to change to find it.

I feel like this explanation is attempting to devalue the experience that led to it in the first place. It's through what we've experienced with other people that gives us new tangent points for the next stages. 

Then again I tend to get lost in other people. The only room I see for 'in my own head'-isms is over expectancy of patterns, otherwise it's moreover what I witness through the other's eyes. 

 It may feel that way, but that’s probably as you go on to say: your perspective.  As I said, and in context to a breakup, you should also be self-examining and it gets muddled with projection when not taken into account.