Sociopath Community

AizenTheTitanic said:

relation ships and connections seem like a rampant cope for people who can't dominate their own reality

why connect with you if i can simply have you?

bad point of view, i'll explain why

it's actually difficult to not find value in a person if you're open-minded. even if you dislike someone, you can learn from what they are good at, or even what they are bad at by fully understanding why they're bad at it. even at the most pessimistic extreme you can gain something by being able to articulate to others why what they're doing is dumb.

it seems like usually the reason people can't find the value in others is because they are loaded full of their own prejudices and they're unable to see both the good and bad because they're too concerned about their own perceptual filters. a person doesn't meet hyper-specific expectations of what a person should be, so they get ruled out. it's a narrow way of thinking.

now let's say we're in agreement up to this point, and you're wondering about "having" as opposed to connection. it sounds like some kind of gay brag, but i'm a pretty decent manipulator when i want to be. still, i prefer connection as opposed to "control." reason being: 1) connecting with people involves displaying honesty, which means you're getting a good outside perspective if your friendship doesn't suck and your friend doesn't suck; 2) you're willing to work through vulnerability and can handle being burnt when it happens; 3) you're experiencing life on multiplayer instead of single player; 4) you're not being a solipsistic retard all up in your head and too good to take part in the collective reality we're all in

AizenTheTitanic said: 

if you feel the need to get close to your environment is because you lack the means to dominate it from a higher position

Doesn't it make more sense to try to understand your environment before cultivating it, like a farmer would? 

i genuinely think there's nothing i don't know about people, and despite how absurd that sounds, i still yet to meet a person i couldn't categorize based on something i experienced before

If you aren't really letting yourself dig into their depth, wouldn't this deprive you of getting if you do or don't understand them? It's easy to feel right, but it's harder to be right. 

I would presume this to be assumptive if I ever thought it, and from my not asking myself if I'm not seeing something I'd be missing important details, especially if the ego wants a certain narrative more than the situation warrants. 

perhaps... i don't see the person but i see his place, his abilities, but that gets us to "identity" i don't believe in identity, and i have solid reasons that can debunk it

I am very interested in this actually, as I think Identity is paramount. Without identity who are we even other than a lost amnesiac? 

our major difference here is that you apply connection, i apply judgment 

I mean I can definitely judge the connections, I can't imagine living without judging things. 

How far I let those judgements push me though's another story. There's nothing wrong with some critique, but if I have that limit my options then I'm limiting myself, typically from prior conceptions rather than the present situation. 

It sounds more like you threw away your talents when they proved to be too heavy to carry, like a gunman who chooses to never kill again.

It's a bad approach considering that, if something should require you to use those talents, you'll be both out of the habit of it and out of shape in it's use. Wouldn't it make more sense to hone your greatest weapons, rather than throwing them in the trash?

 that's actually a clever- suave comeback 

at some point it was that yeah, they were too heavy to carry but not anymore

Isn't it still too heavy to carry if you rebuke the concept of carrying in the first place? 

i am just searching for something different, and i believe i am close into achieving it after i do i will merge the two then switch them off and on depends on the goal

And that difference is... The Juggernaut? 

and to be real in the end why not do whatever the fuck you want to do? 

While I do principally agree with this, I think it takes a strong sense of self-understanding to know the things we want, and that without relative comparison and experience we'd never know our own true desires. 

i honed them a lot, before this forum and discord i been to many places, colleges, gyms, martial arts centers, even drug cartels at times, i honed it to the point i could make a person irl attached to me even if he was a murderer 

What styles of martial arts? 

and yes i know this sounds like a fan fiction edgelord type of shit idc

Not really, I've known people who've traveled the country to challenge dojo masters and exchange knowledge. I see it as a scholarly pursuit even if it's over the physical, as there are physical forms of intelligence such as body kinesthesis, and physical experiences such as muscle memory. 

These are just as important as cerebral knowledge, with variance only based upon the constraints of your environment. Even just doing a little parkour can free the mind from the belief of walls and limitations, and testing yourself against others in this way is the same to me as verbal sparring. 

eventually, i depended it on it so much, i bumped into something i couldn't charm into attaching to me

that was the wake up call "you're not invincible, and some times your shit doesn't work"

...so you failed once, in a way you recognized, and just threw all of that away?

I had a similar thing about "The Evils of Controlling People" when I was growing up. Ignoring the obvious obsessive ego shit that likely led to the presumption that I had more control than mere influence and mutual experiences, I was under the impression that manipulation made me responsible for every outcome that came from it, and that it'd be better to simply try to exist within others' interests without pushing them at all. 

'Leave no Footprints' logic within the constraints of socializing is essentially impossible, and in the end I had to fall back on pushing people to protect myself. I've since gone through steps towards accepting this about myself and now more focus on individual synergy instead of over-compromising as to not feel responsible for another's pain (more ego bullshit, they are responsible for their lives, and my trying to say 'I made them do that' is me excusing them to hurt myself). 

"Defending those who cannot defend themselves is a reasonable example. But when your abilities are so much greater than those around you, there is a temptation to set everything right by might alone. That is tyranny from within."

It did not matter if I felt like my intentions were good, to try to push people through ill means or force is itself still tyranny. If anything, it's the ones who think they're doing the most good that end up doing the most damages. 

that happened some years ago, and it was destructive because the chain-reaction cause a shit ton of drama that started from online, and extended in real life

and all that because, i didn't value pride/ position and i valued actual- concept instead, blinded by an idealism that gives you nothing besides a false sense of self - worth

Pride sounds like the cope though, like when narcs insist they are powerful to ignore the struggles it takes to be powerful. 

I see more value in acceptance than I do out of pride, as then I can use my weaknesses as strengths if not know the pitfalls of my personality. 

Tryptamine said: 

AizenTheTitanic said:

relation ships and connections seem like a rampant cope for people who can't dominate their own reality

why connect with you if i can simply have you?

bad point of view, i'll explain why

it's actually difficult to not find value in a person if you're open-minded. even if you dislike someone, you can learn from what they are good at, or even what they are bad at by fully understanding why they're bad at it. even at the most pessimistic extreme you can gain something by being able to articulate to others why what they're doing is dumb.

it seems like usually the reason people can't find the value in others is because they are loaded full of their own prejudices and they're unable to see both the good and bad because they're too concerned about their own perceptual filters. a person doesn't meet hyper-specific expectations of what a person should be, so they get ruled out. it's a narrow way of thinking.

now let's say we're in agreement up to this point, and you're wondering about "having" as opposed to connection. it sounds like some kind of gay brag, but i'm a pretty decent manipulator when i want to be. still, i prefer connection as opposed to "control." reason being: 1) connecting with people involves displaying honesty, which means you're getting a good outside perspective if your friendship doesn't suck and your friend doesn't suck; 2) you're willing to work through vulnerability and can handle being burnt when it happens; 3) you're experiencing life on multiplayer instead of single player; 4) you're not being a solipsistic retard all up in your head and too good to take part in the collective reality we're all in

 is it pessimistic though or is it realistic? also i never mentioned expectations did i?

it's not even assuming, i know what you are or your copes/ desires if you open up to me and i carefully listen to you, by that point i lose all interest cause guess what, you don't fit my standards

is it narrow? sure, does it work for my goal? yes

you speak as if there are "endless possibilities" or things i might don't know about people" i yet to meet one of these possibilities or people, and oh boy didn't i try

"perceptual filters" prejudices" is this a liberal committee? smfh

your point is severely based on vulnerability/ honesty/ and "outside perspectives"

who said that this is about vulnerability? nobody, you can be vulnerable everywhere, and you can be guarded up everywhere, it doesn't have to be in an one on one relation ship, you can even be vulnerable constantly, and?

i am not being solipsistic, i have pragmatic, functional, reasoning, which refers to action, effect, cause

so far your entire point is "you are too pessimistic and too narcy to see past your own assumptions and you live in your head"

not the case, i put under microscope practically everything, and all i saw was disappointment upon disappointment

the only thing that haven't disappointed me so far is myself, when myself is seeking higher lengths, accomplishments, and domination

Doesn't it make more sense to try to understand your environment before cultivating it, like a farmer would?

If you aren't really letting yourself dig into their depth, wouldn't this deprive you of getting if you do or don't understand them? It's easy to feel right, but it's harder to be right.

I would presume this to be assumptive if I ever thought it, and from my not asking myself if I'm not seeing something I'd be missing important details, especially if the ego wants a certain narrative more than the situation warrants.

i did, so many times, again and again, with thousands upon thousands of people, and i even tried to stop judgment completely to fully understand and accept, so many times, and the result was always the same every single one of them

some times i even got into the trouble of appealing to them from so many perspectives, including their own, even entering their shoes and understanding every single detail, circumstance, from the weather, to the upbringing, to their genetics, to their pd's, to their philosophy, to their behavior, even how my personality affected them if- it did at all (sadly it did)

it never ever surprised me, so eventually i stopped looking, even this right now i shouldn't be doing it in fact

I am very interested in this actually, as I think Identity is paramount. Without identity who are we even other than a lost amnesiac?

you call it paramount, i call it side effect

your identity is the summary of genetical, predetermined factors, and other circumstances that may affect you consciously or subconsciously

the very term is a joke in fact, you could probably find 1000 aizens or trannycoats saying the same shit in different ways centuries ago (actually happened)

therefore every single "uniqueness" or "special effect" isn't really a unique trait but rather a combination of preexisting common traits interacting differently

the only way you can break through that barrier of the "Fake identity" is by breaking through your own barriers + talents that were OFFERED to you by nature, not your own choice

hence why i am doing all this ^ another reason

I mean I can definitely judge the connections, I can't imagine living without judging things.

How far I let those judgements push me though's another story. There's nothing wrong with some critique, but if I have that limit my options then I'm limiting myself, typically from prior conceptions rather than the present situation.

never accepting yet constantly judging is the epitome of a king, an emperor, someone who stands above, someone who can accept the ruthless realism head on, and beat it, that's the point

Isn't it still too heavy to carry if you rebuke the concept of carrying in the first place?

that's a good point, hmmm

guess cause you are supposed to be carrying something bigger + heavier and it takes more space (take it like that)

And that difference is... The Juggernaut?

the juggernaut* is here

in discord right now is something else

in other sites something else

you said that i don't judge the field i farm into but that's completely wrong, i judge it, and i literally adopt the most incompatible personality with it possible, because that's the point, that's what it must be done

i knew that you guys are meta- larpers and you are details- based, i also knew that your personal emotions aren't hidden but rather idolized and empathized

which means a shallow -surface relentless explosive hitter is the worst possible match

i knew that bpd jim is a rampant attention whore so ignoring him and passively baiting him would work the best, hence why i made him the number one target

i knew that good is a neutral party that keeps this place relatively stable, so i knew i had to be the most unstable in order or beat that

i knew that you are the balancer - damage controller of everything like you control the chaos, so i had to make you vulnerable to awake others, eventually, it did happen in a way that allowed me to reach you

see my actions seem chaotic and spegy but there's always a point behind them

and look where it got us, it worked

While I do principally agree with this, I think it takes a strong sense of self-understanding to know the things we want, and that without relative comparison and experience we'd never know our own true desires.

that's cause there are no desires but only compensations, you desire what you lack, you want what you don't have, you seek what you don't find

it's an oxymoron that practically ends up with "chicken or egg"

What styles of martial arts?

Not really, I've known people who've traveled the country to challenge dojo masters and exchange knowledge. I see it as a scholarly pursuit even if it's over the physical, as there are physical forms of intelligence such as body kinesthesis, and physical experiences such as muscle memory.

These are just as important as cerebral knowledge, with variance only based upon the constraints of your environment. Even just doing a little parkour can free the mind from the belief of walls and limitations, and testing yourself against others in this way is the same to me as verbal sparring.

exactly

first it was muay thai, then it was kick boxing, then boxing

it taught me a lot about my personality, my reactions to others, pride, even my weaknesses 

i am a good attacker  in all these sports, fearless too, but my weakness sucks and any type of evasiveness makes me go autismo mode, unless we duck it out i am in disadvantage, and i got no defense, i hate defense

(similar to my trolling ik)

the way to hell is paved in good intentions, hence why i make clear my intentions are to attack, always, and if something comes out of it good, it will be actually good, unconditionally good

Pride sounds like the cope though, like when narcs insist they are powerful to ignore the struggles it takes to be powerful.

I see more value in acceptance than I do out of pride, as then I can use my weaknesses as strengths if not know the pitfalls of my personality.

the general pride yeah, is a cope, barely different to ego / narcissism, like "I am above crawling in the mud"

but see i came here to crawl in your site's mud for that very reason, to step down from that glass throne, and prove that my pride can be sustained either way

acceptance, acceptance in a world lead by dynamics of power is like bending your ass to be fucked

(yes ik you like that)

AizenTheTitanic said: 

Tryptamine said: 

AizenTheTitanic said:

relation ships and connections seem like a rampant cope for people who can't dominate their own reality

why connect with you if i can simply have you?

bad point of view, i'll explain why

it's actually difficult to not find value in a person if you're open-minded. even if you dislike someone, you can learn from what they are good at, or even what they are bad at by fully understanding why they're bad at it. even at the most pessimistic extreme you can gain something by being able to articulate to others why what they're doing is dumb.

it seems like usually the reason people can't find the value in others is because they are loaded full of their own prejudices and they're unable to see both the good and bad because they're too concerned about their own perceptual filters. a person doesn't meet hyper-specific expectations of what a person should be, so they get ruled out. it's a narrow way of thinking.

now let's say we're in agreement up to this point, and you're wondering about "having" as opposed to connection. it sounds like some kind of gay brag, but i'm a pretty decent manipulator when i want to be. still, i prefer connection as opposed to "control." reason being: 1) connecting with people involves displaying honesty, which means you're getting a good outside perspective if your friendship doesn't suck and your friend doesn't suck; 2) you're willing to work through vulnerability and can handle being burnt when it happens; 3) you're experiencing life on multiplayer instead of single player; 4) you're not being a solipsistic retard all up in your head and too good to take part in the collective reality we're all in

 is it pessimistic though or is it realistic? also i never mentioned expectations did i?

it's not even assuming, i know what you are or your copes/ desires if you open up to me and i carefully listen to you, by that point i lose all interest cause guess what, you don't fit my standards

is it narrow? sure, does it work for my goal? yes

you speak as if there are "endless possibilities" or things i might don't know about people" i yet to meet one of these possibilities or people, and oh boy didn't i try

"perceptual filters" prejudices" is this a liberal committee? smfh

How would you see those possibilities if you already presume to understand it? How can you fill your cup if it's already full? 



What we expect to see is precisely what serves to blind us from whatever else is there. This is part of what helps us grow by having others around us; They can see the things we didn't immediately pick up, and in time we might begin to see them too. Also on point with his rhetoric he expresses the value in witnessing others' shortcomings and failures as a means of avoiding it yourself. 

so far your entire point is "you are too pessimistic and too narcy to see past your own assumptions and you live in your head"

When you reduce it to the negative like that it becomes harder to listen to. This sort of conversion/reinterpretation of the texts serves to try to push others away by adjusting the tone of the message itself. 

I didn't see his post as an attack against you, but rather a rebuttal against your ideas. He never directly attacked you with any of the rhetoric he was typing, he instead stuck to concepts. 

the only thing that haven't disappointed me so far is myself, when myself is seeking higher lengths, accomplishments, and domination

The hardest battle to win is that of submission, understanding one's place in the greater whole once they've climbed as high as they're likely to go. 

AizenTheTitanic said: 

Turncoat said:

Doesn't it make more sense to try to understand your environment before cultivating it, like a farmer would?

If you aren't really letting yourself dig into their depth, wouldn't this deprive you of getting if you do or don't understand them? It's easy to feel right, but it's harder to be right.

I would presume this to be assumptive if I ever thought it, and from my not asking myself if I'm not seeing something I'd be missing important details, especially if the ego wants a certain narrative more than the situation warrants.

i did, so many times, again and again, with thousands upon thousands of people, and i even tried to stop judgment completely to fully understand and accept, so many times, and the result was always the same every single one of them

This would have me questioning how much of it's something about me, as that'd be the most common denominator of every interaction that ended the same way. 

some times i even got into the trouble of appealing to them from so many perspectives, including their own, even entering their shoes and understanding every single detail, circumstance, from the weather, to the upbringing, to their genetics, to their pd's, to their philosophy, to their behavior, even how my personality affected them if- it did at all (sadly it did)

it never ever surprised me, so eventually i stopped looking, even this right now i shouldn't be doing it in fact

You sound tired. 

Turncoat said:

I am very interested in this actually, as I think Identity is paramount. Without identity who are we even other than a lost amnesiac?

you call it paramount, i call it side effect

your identity is the summary of genetical, predetermined factors, and other circumstances that may affect you consciously or subconsciously

the very term is a joke in fact, you could probably find 1000 aizens or trannycoats saying the same shit in different ways centuries ago (actually happened)

therefore every single "uniqueness" or "special effect" isn't really a unique trait but rather a combination of preexisting common traits interacting differently

I'm of a similar thought, but have extended it towards the time of year someone's born rather than just one's genetic background and environment. It's a bit surreal what people born around the same times of year can have in common, even down to physical features and common ground. 

You really are born as who you're going to be for the rest of your life, and many of the life lessons you learned in one place if it were to be averted would simply be learned elsewhere under different circumstances. The inherent weaknesses people begin with are what set the stage for their future challenges, and avoiding said challenges can slow down progress as the problems accrue interest. 

The above aside, there is still their individual experiences for their specificity. When collecting other people's stories, the more you collect the more you begin to see the connections between them, reinforcing the truths within the narratives through where they are similar. This can dispel the myth of uniqueness in that a person's behaviors can be classified and measured, but the specificity still allows us at least an ounce of uniqueness. 

Personally I find more beauty in the connections identity has with one another, rather than the things that make us a 'special snowflake'. It's the things that we have in common that show us what's outside of ourselves from it's variations within it, like seeing two twins separated at birth meet later and find they did some of the same things growing up. 

the only way you can break through that barrier of the "Fake identity" is by breaking through your own barriers + talents that were OFFERED to you by nature, not your own choice

How does a lack of uniqueness make it any less real? 

Turncoat said:

I mean I can definitely judge the connections, I can't imagine living without judging things.

How far I let those judgements push me though's another story. There's nothing wrong with some critique, but if I have that limit my options then I'm limiting myself, typically from prior conceptions rather than the present situation.

never accepting yet constantly judging is the epitome of a king, an emperor, someone who stands above, someone who can accept the ruthless realism head on, and beat it, that's the point

What's so good about being a king though? It's either pure delegation or insanely stressful. 

Rather than trying to be top dog, I find more value in cultivating a calling. I see more value in the chef or the artist who finds freedom in their crafts than I would in some dude in a suit driving a Mercedes or some shit because that's what they were told is success. 

Turncoat said:

And that difference is... The Juggernaut?

the juggernaut* is here

in discord right now is something else

in other sites something else

You always identify with an exterior symbol as if it were an effigy rather than valuing yourself as yourself. It makes your sense of identity seem malleable based on whatever has you inspired at the moment. 

A lot of people do this sort of thing, but they normally build a construct that they can tell themselves is "Who they are". You instead seem to follow symbols as a source of direct inspiration. 

you said that i don't judge the field i farm into but that's completely wrong, i judge it, and i literally adopt the most incompatible personality with it possible, because that's the point, that's what it must be done

You... want to salt the fields? 

i knew that you guys are meta- larpers and you are details- based, i also knew that your personal emotions aren't hidden but rather idolized and empathized

See this is exactly what Tryp was talking about. 

If you keep saying we're all a bunch of archetypes, how will you see us for more than just the basics? On top of that, when corrected on even the basics, what would stand to have you open minded enough for self-correction if/when you get it wrong? 

which means a shallow -surface relentless explosive hitter is the worst possible match

...so you're basing this identity entirely off of how you think your peers will respond to you? 

That sounds a lot like caring about how other people see you, but with the classic fame/infamy flip. 

i knew that bpd jim is a rampant attention whore so ignoring him and passively baiting him would work the best, hence why i made him the number one target

This statement contradicts your goal, a lot. 

i knew that you are the balancer - damage controller of everything like you control the chaos, so i had to make you vulnerable to awake others, eventually, it did happen in a way that allowed me to reach you

If you came here with less preconceived notions about how people would respond to you, we would have gotten to this point of communication faster. You were so busy reading the script that it actively thwarted you even seeing legitimate openings in people here. 

You say you made this identity to get to the people here, but why not aim to make your strikes poisoned with memorable affects instead of just bludgeoning them? They need to care beyond short term triggering or what does it even mean? Even your idea of 'helping people' by being this person won't have us budge if it's all surface level, and if that's all it took for us to get better then we'd probably all be cured already of what ails us. 

Turncoat said:

While I do principally agree with this, I think it takes a strong sense of self-understanding to know the things we want, and that without relative comparison and experience we'd never know our own true desires.

that's cause there are no desires but only compensations, you desire what you lack, you want what you don't have, you seek what you don't find

it's an oxymoron that practically ends up with "chicken or egg"

It's through seeing the others that want more than they can have that I reaffirm my idea of learning to accept where I'm at. Many waste their lives pushing towards the culturally accepted ideas of success without even asking themselves if that's what they even want, and in time I've seen that what I have now's actually pretty nice. 

Turncoat said:

What styles of martial arts?

Not really, I've known people who've traveled the country to challenge dojo masters and exchange knowledge. I see it as a scholarly pursuit even if it's over the physical, as there are physical forms of intelligence such as body kinesthesis, and physical experiences such as muscle memory.

These are just as important as cerebral knowledge, with variance only based upon the constraints of your environment. Even just doing a little parkour can free the mind from the belief of walls and limitations, and testing yourself against others in this way is the same to me as verbal sparring.

exactly

first it was muay thai, then it was kick boxing, then boxing

I started with ballet and gymnastics, then crosstrained that into a tae kwon do/karate fusion that aimed to drop a lot of the inefficiency from the sport style. The one teaching was a mixed martial artist who grabbed from multiple styles to try to cover for inherent weaknesses present, and trying to spar him just has every move you try to do make you feel stupid for thinking it'd work. 

Demotivation is a powerful tool, and with more and more sparring matches watched and done I've seen the sport more for it's psychology at times. I even saw that my masochism was strangely useful in a martial setting, throwing people off for at least the first one or two hits when I don't respond like it was a problem (some think I'm laughing at how weak their attack was). 

Muay Thai has some great kicks, but their knee strikes and elbows are just asking to get injured with their eight points of attack philosophy. 

it taught me a lot about my personality, my reactions to others, pride, even my weaknesses 

i am a good attacker  in all these sports, fearless too, but my weakness sucks and any type of evasiveness makes me go autismo mode, unless we duck it out i am in disadvantage, and i got no defense, i hate defense

I liked baiting my opponent into making mistakes, then showing off when they're tired. The moment you're the most open is right before you attack from being committed to the move, so baiting them into thinking there's an opening opens a lot of areas and makes them waste energy. 

Most of the fight when it's for sport is about the conservation of energy, if you can outlast your foe that way they become simpler. I love defense over offense over how it boosts offense's potential, and if you can entirely avoid their attacks rather than eating them directly then they're the ones fighting themselves. 

Sometimes though defense proves to be shit if you aren't used to the moves the opponent's telegraphing, like this jumping punch move this dude I fought once kept slipping into his combos super quickly. The move looked super impractical but I couldn't read it. 

the way to hell is paved in good intentions, hence why i make clear my intentions are to attack, always, and if something comes out of it good, it will be actually good, unconditionally good

I tend to see it closer to people drawing lines in the sand, picking sides that they can call good and evil. 

I tend to see good as one making excuses for the things they feel like they have to do and evil as the things they beat themselves up over. It's otherwise relative beyond the usual sociological ones (don't kill don't steal etc). 

Turncoat said:

Pride sounds like the cope though, like when narcs insist they are powerful to ignore the struggles it takes to be powerful.

I see more value in acceptance than I do out of pride, as then I can use my weaknesses as strengths if not know the pitfalls of my personality.

the general pride yeah, is a cope, barely different to ego / narcissism, like "I am above crawling in the mud"

but see i came here to crawl in your site's mud for that very reason, to step down from that glass throne, and prove that my pride can be sustained either way

You still act like you have a throne though, you haven't stepped down from that feeling at all. 

acceptance, acceptance in a world lead by dynamics of power is like bending your ass to be fucked

(yes ik you like that)

It's actually the perfect symbol for my argument. It only looks shameful to the uninitiated, but our bodies are literally designed to enjoy it. There's a male G-spot back there and everything (the prostate), and enough activity back there can make for better orgasms than just front-end business alone. 

I don't even see it as 'gay' to enjoy pegging as long as the gender ratio's still intact. You're still inhaling the same feminine pheromones and smells while exploring the limitations of the body. 

Through prejudice and misunderstanding, many don't even venture that it might feel good, while through analysis, understanding, and exploration, the male can find more ways to enjoy sex than 'the basics'. It doesn't even feel the same really, almost like having two different virginities that can be lost. 

holy shit that's a lot of text and i am on diet again

i will respond to both, especially the uniqueness part

i don't think tryptamine was attacking, he is pretty neutral -mature when he isn't drinking, i think he mistakes my views as "solipsism" or "narc grandiosity"

anyways i will hit you up soon

Turncoat said:

Pain accrues interest the longer you ignore it, even becoming complexes to grant an outlet for it, sublimating it. Why not just deal with your pain so you can become stronger than it? 

lol that was mean as shit