Mental illness is real and it's sufferers are going through real mental pain, except blanc is not one of them an is just a dramatic histrionic bland girlie who wishes she had mental disorders to be quirky and to get attention from people. If she has any disorders it's emotional vampirism.
My diagnoses are anxiety major depression and c-PTSD. I was diagnosed by psychiatrists, not webMD.
My therapist proposed OCD as well, and a psychiatrist proposed an eating disorder as well as DID.
I take medication and am doing fine now, every now and then I'll have rougher days but such is life.
Writing (or venting) in general is a coping mechanism, so that's why I've done so much of it. It's also a way of processing, understanding, accepting oneself better- generating oversight and introspection.
It's not a ploy for attention, it's a catharsis.
Edit: forgot to mention I was told I had ADD when I was like 13 or 14 as well.
My diagnoses are anxiety major depression and c-PTSD. I was diagnosed by psychiatrists, not webMD.
What I often see from people that have gone through multiple "doctors" is to take on all the labels thrown at them instead of taking one diagnosis more into account than another (and even that "fix" has cherry-picking risk). I also see people way too quick to trust a "doctor"s word when they are largely guessing (and often times paid off to overdiagnose in a specific direction). Sure they are making an educated guess, but it's still a speculative guess, one heavily based on your own ability to report your own symptoms.
Getting a correct diagnosis is somewhat like winning at a slot machine, and the room to use even incorrect labels to justify behaviors instead of aim to understand and work within them is baffling.
Just from what little time I've seen you I'd say you're emotionally reactive more so than depressed plainly, you have hot and cold moments that are seemingly more in other people's hands than your own. All I can imagine that led to your depression diagnosis was them seeing a limited sample of you, like the bipolar kid I once knew that was given uppers for his "depression", but ended up a lot worse for it.
My therapist proposed OCD as well, and a psychiatrist proposed an eating disorder as well as DID.
All of these can be explained as symptoms of other issues. OCD and eating disorders tend to follow different neurosis with DID being the most specific thing in here.
Writing (or venting) in general is a coping mechanism, so that's why I've done so much of it. It's also a way of processing, understanding, accepting oneself better- generating oversight and introspection.
It seems more like you can't keep your words inside anymore more than finding a catharsis for it, and that by having a place to put it, it can stop appearing to be about the automatic behavior that otherwise needs somewhere to go, an outlet.
It's not a ploy for attention, it's a catharsis.
I'd say it could be justification. Even for disorders that are a real problem, awareness of them paired with using them to justify excuses is how to willingly allow regression, as it gives reasons as to why giving up makes sense (learned helplessness). Check Labeling Theory to see my point.
It's like those studies they do where they tell one group that they're the inferior bunch and don't tell the other one anything: The ones told earlier on that they were inferior have more excuses to not try as hard, while those without any room to make an excuse has more room to blame themselves for their failures, making for a harder person.
The entitlement towards justification is the poison more than anything. You have more to climb over than other people because of these issues, not less, so using these disorders like merit badges only does favors for anyone if it's over the data instead of as a means of excusing future behaviors with nothing learned.
Basically, imagine having tourette syndrome, and instead of trying to do less wild twitches and odd vocalizations, you just let it run amok and excuse it after the fact on repeat. While the tourette syndrome victim has more room to make those mistakes than peers without the issue, that doesn't entirely excuse them from the behavior if they try to do nothing to compensate for it. Instead of comparing yourself to those around you without such "curses" inflicted on them, why not compare yourself to others with the same struggles, the same disorders, to see how well you're doing next to those who'd actually understand the problems?
Basically, people look up to how hard someone is trying, not how poorly someone is doing. Admiration-wise, labels work more so as a means of expressing the weight you're carrying in a task, not as sole merits by themselves like a participation award.
A comment under her video:
"Some Guy
2 years ago
How to fix depression:Step 1: Eat a whole food plant based diet. Science has discovered inflammation is one of the leading causes of depression. Plant based (whole food plant based) reduces the most amount of inflammation, while diets including meat/dairy/egg increases inflammation through several factors. You will also get the benefit of having the only diet PROVEN to reduce and prevent heart disease as well as reducing your risks of cancer, diabetes, hypertension, Alzheimer's, MS, IBS among others. Step 2: Meditation. In 2016 and in part 2015, neuroscientists learned that meditation (and mindfulness) are as effective, in most cases more effective, then taking medication. Medication will get rid of your symptoms (Sometimes) where as meditation will cure it. Meditation allows you to control your brain waves, bringing most depressed people (who usually exhibit exclusively beta brain waves) into a more controlled state of mind. Allowing the person to almost immediately create alpha wave lengths which are associated with calmness, happiness etc. Beta wavelengths are associated with running thoughts/uncontrollable thoughts, anxiety and guess what, depression. By constantly being depressed your brain creates a "habit" of jumping to depressed feelings and creating neuropath ways that allow the depressed emotion to activate easily. Meditation allows you to break these habits and create new neuro pathways. Chemical imbalances are not really that "real", and are usually a result of inflammation or an imbalance that occurred after taking medication. I was a long time sufferer of depression. I jumped to these two things out of a last resort. I came off the meds and haven't been depressed in a very long time. The science in the last couple years only confirmed the methods that worked for me."
I felt perfectly fine today, and it makes me think that I don't have any need for meds.
But I forget my brain doesn't work properly at all without meds.
I went for a swim with my family, and, while normally on meds I can just enjoy the moment, enjoy swimming.
This time I stretch my arms out in front of me in the water and sunk deep into the pool to hide my face for a moment from everyone. Because I couldn't get my brain to shut up about suicide.
It's just a little whisper, that says, "kill yourself."
It wears on you once you've been through the ringer with the hell fire this voice can release and the true power of it. You learn to become very afraid of it.
And I thought, shit, why is that here? Because I didn't take my meds today? God damn.
And see, I wasn't *trying* to be negative, I was *trying* to enjoy my life normal as anybody.
But people with depression really do have an internal battle going on. And while I always thought it was cheesy to describe it this way, I don't really know how else to succinctly depict it another way. I'm starting to realize it really is something you have to fight back against every single day.
Or it will win.
And this isn't my attempt at justifying a victim mindset or wanting sympathy. It's documenting what it is like. So that I myself can learn to better understand it.
When I better understand depression, you can get better from it.
It was due to my memory issues that I started writing on SC in the first place trying to understand and document what was going on with myself in order to gain total oversight. How can you reflect if you look back and it's all gone, and you can't remember what you were thinking feeling experiencing etc.
The research I've done has really helped me to understand why things are the way they are with me, and this helps me in turn, when I am experiencing these things- stop blaming myself, stop being ashamed, stop resorting to suicide as a solution, or feeling hopeless. But rather going, "oh, this is just that symptom of depression they talked about, and it's because these two mechanisms in the brain aren't working right now. But that's ok."
And then I can in turn, have compassion for myself and turn to treating myself the way I need to.
I've learned with healing from mental illness, it's very physical as well, and it takes over your entire life, unfortunately, and your entire body- not just your mind. So it's important to give the leeway and a lot the time into the habits you need for yourself to feel better.
Like, resting when you are simply exhausted, is a good example. I used to push myself past the exhaustion thinking that I needed to tough it out- but all this did was run me ragged- and my friend actually mentioned to me that he felt like I seemed like I was "white knuckling" for a very long time.
This white knuckling is extremely unhealthy response. But if you have understanding for yourself and, that what you are experiencing is because of your diagnoses- it's not because you are weak, or unworthy of any of the things in life that you want. Etc. It's not your fault. Then you can understand you just need rest and you can give yourself that.
And start to feel better more often.
Obviously treated depression is a very dynamic process, meaning there are many moving parts happening all at once. And it's not as simple as just getting some rest. But, this is one moving part in a balance of things that need to take place for you to start to feel better.
