Alright so expressing emotions and weakness or uncertainty in public is really uncomfortable for me... But I realise that by trying to sweep them under the rug maybe I just appear hostile and weak anyway. After talking to Xad I can see how badly I came across in the last couple posts...
I suppose it's not bad to admit that I actually am flustered. Facing confrontation is something I'm really bad at, especially with such personal content, but idk I'm trying. I really wish I was better at communicating...
I can see why Delora and other people would be distrusting of me, I mean I guess I do hide things but it's not because I have bad intentions it's because I hate feeling exposed and vulnerable, and I find it really hard to let people in... Probably because of my past, which is also painful to admit and talk about.
Even just making this post is really hard for me and I'm not sure how to show that I'm genuine. I'm kind of at a loss with how to handle a lot of this...
Xad told me to address it, idk I'm trying but I'm so so bad at guaging what to share or how to express myself.
I'm certain that shiftycunt is actually my ex, but sadly I can't concretely prove it even though there's a ton of circumstantial evidence. He has been caught doing stalkery shit before and I don't see how anyone else could know some of the things that shiftycunt has said. As far as real life stuff goes there's a reason xad won't reveal too much and I probably shouldn't either, just please stop saying that I'm shifty.
I'm anxious because I don't know if I'm oversharing or undersharing and both seem to get me into trouble.
You're a fucking mess and I love it.
