Blanc, I get that the reactions you receive are confusing to you, but if you really want to have better relationships with people here, I think you need to seriously consider what it is about the way you're presenting yourself that's causing it. Most of the time, you talk about it as if it's utterly inexplicable and has little or nothing to do with you, instead being some kind of mass social delusion. But the fact is, most people here have very similar objections. Even if you think they're wrong about you, it means you're doing something unintentionally that's giving everyone the same impression, and you can't expect that to change without you addressing that problem in yourself. Try to understand where they're coming from and meet them halfway.
I fully understand that. I'm not saying they're wrong for having these perceptions.
I'm saying that I haven't done a good job of communicating, in a way in which things cannot be misconstrued or misunderstood. When I say people are "misunderstanding me" or that they "misunderstood" I'm saying it's *on me*, not them.
What you're talking about here is something I was trying to address in the previous paragraph responses in this thread, but I guess it still wasn't clear so, I just re-iterated it so you could understand...
When I say, "you misunderstood" I'm not saying you are stupid, or wrong, I'm saying that I communicated it wrong, or that you've gathered the wrong idea based on my effort to communicate. My effort to communicate was flawed, which led to false presumptions, and stuff getting relaly badly miscontrued.
What do you suppose it is about the way you communicate that's causing the rift in understanding?
I dunno, it’s something about the way I talk. I say something really simple and people often think I meant something else entirely. Or they attempt to read between the lines, because they’re not understanding they think there must be more to the picture they’re missing, and fill in the gaps of misunderstanding with their own presumed ideas about my intentions behind why I’m saying what I’m saying, what it is I’m saying, and what it says about me for saying it, and my reasons for saying it. And the same gap-filling phenomenon occurs to me behaviorally as well, not just in plain linguistic mediums.
People misinterpret everything, from my posture mannerisms facial expressions tone inflection- to more complex situational or circumstantial scenarios, and including body language even.
I try to combat this by being extremely direct and clear as possible. But people continually draw more meaning behind things that I say or do than is there, and continually paint me in a generally negative light.
I think this is simply bias at this point, and to view me objectively at this point would be impossible. Many are stuck in their own self fulfilling confirmation bias sort of scenario with me. And that’s why I just stopped responding or say I don’t have time.
Because they truly aren’t getting it, and they are judging rather than seeking to understand. And until they can no longer be so critical, they will never be able to properly empathize or understand things I say and do. And it’s difficult for me to have to reply huge walls of text explaining all the such things required of me to explain of myself, after everything I say and do.
Ive understood this for years now that many do not seek to understand, and never will. Judging is part of human nature.
All of what I just said now will be judged, and negative opinions of me will be drawn out of it. And I will sit here all day and all night trying to explain myself and what I meant and disproving the misconceptions and conclusions drawn about me, all just to prove I am who I am, to someone who doesn’t even know me, and likely never will- and who will continually do the things I’ve mentioned here- often completely missing the larger point, purpose or picture to what I am grasping at or whatever strange ‘page’ of thought I’m on.
I have a difficult time bring others to this page that I am on.
I have had communication issues in a lot of my relationships, I don’t mean romantically, I meant of all kinds, and the more close people attempt to become with me, the more noticable the divide becomes. Between, the page of the “plane of thought” that I am operating in, or the “island” I am tryign to get to- progressively, with my thoughts or what I am speaking and conveying.
(Often it does have a purpose, or a progressive point or nature to it, I don’t just speak to babble. There is reason behind it. But other people do not see that reason- when I thought it was obvious and they see it. They do not. Lol)
Anyway, it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest this is an issue I’m having here, because I’ve had it elsewhere in my life this same *exact* issue comes up. I have it with my parents all the time. And we’ve been trying to address this very thing for years now but get absolutely no where.
I’ve explained the plane of thought analogy, the island analogy and everything I’ve explained here today and more. I’ve tried really hard to help people understand what the fuck I’m talking about.
But it just doesn’t click with *most* people. Not all, but most. Some do get it.
And I’m not saying that I am *above* people, it’s just we are equal but different. Different islands is a good analogy because they’re just different locations on the globe ones not necessarily higher or better than the other. You don’t have to be more or less intelligent etc, it’s not a matter of that. It’s just a different way of thinking and processing that, some people just don’t operate that way.
And I myself, struggle to understand the people who don’t operate the way that I do. So, it’s... a difficult time for everyone. Because while majority of people aren’t understanding me, imagine how I feel, not understanding majority of people at the same time as well.
There’s just a few people who can get it, and they’re usually extremely keen on understanding people very well in general like it’s a sort of unusual heightened ability they have to just understand all people. They’re highly empathic and intuitive, of people, and just understand them so well that they can make a career out of it. Their ability is unusual.
And then, of course, the people like myself. It has nothing to do with personality type and you can’t necessarily categorize them like, ‘oh they’re all science nerd people’ or whatever. No, I’ve found that we are vastly different in that regard, personality, etc.
It’s just a type of processing, a way of thinking, about things. Another analogy I’ve used in the past to explain it to people is, it’s sort of like, different systems of government.
You have democracy, and then you have communism. Two seperate forms that, serve a function, a system. And while you may be operating as a democratic system in your brain, the way you process thought, the way you accomplish tasks, function, and then produce out put. My brain, my system of government, is just not going to take in stimuli process it, and then put it out in a way that a democratic system can understand.
It’s as if my out going information is in a different language, and then as it is translated by a ‘different’ operating system (a brain), the information that I put, is lost in translation, and the meaning becomes corrupted entirely, as they try to take in what I said.
You know how there are just some meanings and words that cannot be understood by the English language?
