I've lived such a disappointing life. My mom only wanted me to become a good person and I had faith I could do it. Yet the more I try, the worse everything seems to get. Am I evil? Maybe I'm meant to be evil and hated and unlovable. Whenever I see something pure or good I'm afraid to touch it because it feels like it will be tainted by me.
Do you believe people can make amends and better themselves?
Do you believe people can make amends and better themselves?
For themselves yes, but for others it's always a compromise.
Let me get this straight. Not only you act scummy on the regular, but you're also dramatic and expect pity for it?
WEW LAD.
Swear to god, annoys me so much. Wah wah I'm such a terrible person I do x and y and z to people wah wah. Well how about not doing it in the first place? Huh? Ever thought about that?
Dumb cunt lmao.
Let me get this straight. Not only you act scummy on the regular, but you're also dramatic and expect pity for it?
Is it scummy though?
Swear to god, annoys me so much. Wah wah I'm such a terrible person I do x and y and z to people wah wah. Well how about not doing it in the first place? Huh? Ever thought about that?
True, it is still technically a form of bragging to talk about how awful you are.
Let me get this straight. Not only you act scummy on the regular, but you're also dramatic and expect pity for it?
WEW LAD.
Swear to god, annoys me so much. Wah wah I'm such a terrible person I do x and y and z to people wah wah. Well how about not doing it in the first place? Huh? Ever thought about that?
Dumb cunt lmao.
It feels so good in the spur of the moment that I end up relapsing every time and now I don't feel like I deserve anything good because I can no longer look at the world through the glasses of naivety. I feel like my every thought is tainted and not in any way connected to happiness. I can experience intense pleasure, but I can't experience happiness and feel like I do not deserve to share space with other, innocent people because of my past, unless I find some way to make amends. But I am so far into the evil spectrum that it seems like sheer impossibility for me to somehow make amends for the things I have done. Do you think I deserve happiness?
It's true that I was crying and feeling sorry for myself when I wrote that message but I feel no shame about that. I was listening to the O superman by Laurie Anderson and it hit home real hard.
I don't know what this evil person does, maybe they're a gaslit battered wife for all we know, but does seem the type to be scummy then cry about it.
I am aware of the paradoxical duality of my existence.
I just wish I could somehow take back the past and start with a clean slate. I just want someone to tell me that my struggle to become a better person is worth something. But it's not, is it? The best I can do is put on a batman suit and fight with people as low as me. Even that won't change the fact that darkness resides within me, poisoning my every thought and ripping away my happiness as I destroy everything I touch.
Bitch ass nigga evil what is wrong with you?
Hurr durr i do bad no no no I am bad.
Also you sound pretentious with that obscure music thing too, very important to mention, that's facebook tier.
Either way. "Make ammends" kek. Are you even in a position where you *can* make ammends? You know you can't save someone from drowning if you can't even swim right?
First, you learn how to swim, and you start swimming really well. And then you can help others. To try to help before that is pure retardation.
Anyhow, jump out of the pool of self-pity, focus on doing good NOW, regardless of the past, and ignore it. And when you've managed to do that shit, think about making amends. Like donate to the homeless shelter or some shit, who cares really.
Of course, I have a very good article that can help you cope with your feelings atm, it is worth a listen I would say.
Other than that.
Stfu self-pitying nigger retard faggot pretentious cunt. Tits or gtfo, livestream it and do a flip.
Bitch ass nigga
First, you learn how to swim, and you start swimming really well.
Your advice is in conflict with itself. 
