Sociopath Community

not just sc but discord and other forums too

I was straight up destroying and killing myself emotionally bc I thought I deserved it due to my dad and my upbringing and all the toxic relationships I got myself into after that

it's scary because I had a lot of alternate reasons for doing what I was doing covering up the real truth of what I was doing

bpd affffffffffff

By your older logic, you gave yourself a worse life in your primary goddess form so that you may learn lessons. 

Perhaps these self-harm sessions are yet more lessons? It definitely works that way for me anyway. 

Turncoat said: 

By your older logic, you gave yourself a worse life in your primary goddess form so that you may learn lessons. 

Perhaps these self-harm sessions are yet more lessons? It definitely works that way for me anyway. 

ya I think they were lessons, because I had to learn that I would rather just outright kill myself than continue emotionally abusing myself through my relationships and friendships, and my bf realized the exact same thing and that's why he was in there so it was perfect lol

Could the lesson perhaps be something else? 

I don't expect you want my advice, but on the off-chance the words resonate through some future mental tangent you have; You're very prone to externalizing your problems as if they were related to external causes, and as long as this goes on you're liable to find yourself stuck in cycles. 

Turncoat said: 

Could the lesson perhaps be something else? 

I don't expect you want my advice, but on the off-chance the words resonate through some future mental tangent you have; You're very prone to externalizing your problems as if they were related to external causes, and as long as this goes on you're liable to find yourself stuck in cycles. 

hmm in what ways? I'm all for changing myself for the better and ending toxic cycles if I truly have control over them

The more pain that you're in, the less you find yourself able to face. From over here it looks as if stress is overstimulating for you, and to handle it you convince yourself that the problems are external and, therefor, able to be cast out of your life, yet the same problems keep finding you through newer and newer people. 

I'd recommend letting yourself be overstimulated so that you can get used to it, like sticking your toe in a hot tub to help your body adjust before slowly dipping further and further into it. This place is more like hot water than fire, the scalding of a hot tub eventually feeling nice, warm, comforting. I see places like this website as a means of pushing that while within controlled conditions (like how playing stress-based video games could help with anger management), plus we get to see how others face the heat to help us form comparisons.