Sociopath Community

Dr. Winner said: 

Blanc said: 

Why do you do badly want me to be the bad guy? I’m not going to sit here and defend myself to an internet troll for hours. But yeah if this is the story you want to spin on me, and distort the truth to suit your own perrogative, then what’s the point. 

You were raised by someone who really badly damaged the relationship you and the female figure in your life and you often try to paint a lot of women in this light, the same light you see the person who hurt you in some way, as. 

And I understand because I’ve been there, seeing reality in a distorted way because of shit you went through.

 

Its okay to have this sort of reaction. I am just one of the most open people here so it’s easiest to Make someone who is very open, into a vulnerable target for judgement. 

It’s the internet. It happens. But, the person you are describing, that’s not how I am at all. 

it’s just the way you’re seeing things, and everyone sees things differently and that’s okay. All I can do is continue to be open and honest and live my authentic life. And not worry about the  judgement and perception others have of choose to have. 

ive done what I can to clarify as best I can but... yeah. I dunno what else I can do 

 

and I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s opinions. We all have got a right to our own individual opinions and yeah. You do you man. No biggie. No hate. I get it. 

I accept everyone’s opinions as valid 

 

if it weren’t for differing perspectives how could we have progress or change. It’s not about being the most right or the most factual sometimes there is benefit to the sheer variation to provide insight to ourselves and find growth from it in some way. So thanks for sharing your opinions with me and I hope it can make me better or the world a better place in some way. 

 I did not provide info about Jim’s sad childhood so people could use it against him. You’re a mean person. Just because you don’t think he is correct, doesn’t mean you should use his past as ammo to discredit his opinion. You could have just said that everyone’s opinion is valid. There was no need to throw that in his face. You may not be evil, but you do some evil things. He is actually correct. You are very selfish and you treated Trypt poorly and you knew he had issues going into your relationship and you didn’t let him work through them himself, so he went right back to what he was doing, and yes, even got worse. Even if you want him back and he hates himself enough to want you back, I don’t think you are a good match because he needs someone to care about him and not just themselves and their idea of who he should be. Jim is 100% correct, figure out how to care about others in a selfless way and then you can try to win him back. 

 lmao yes you did, you wanted everyone else to get on him about it while in the same instance repeating how many times you've been raped and then claiming he raped you too. You were angry and hurt hoped someone would use it against him, you pickme bitch 

Cav, I did it so you people would understand why he is the way he is. I was never mad at him for what he did because I knew what happened to him as a kid. I thought that would make you people have compassion for him. If I didn’t have a kid, I probably would never have left Jim. I was thinking about the possibility of having a kid and how that would be really messed up if I decided to stay with him and have the kid. Jim has a reason for being how he is and it’s a good reason. I don’t care about being raped by him or anyone else. It’s just life. If anything sinister was in my head when I shared that info, it was because he shared a picture of me naked on a bed when I didn’t do anything wrong. He apologized for it, but my family saw that picture because someone sent it to them, so I have animosity towards him for that, but not for raping me. I forgave him the first time and then the second time, it was my fault for giving him another chance. The funny part is that I know now that I was feeling terrible because I was pregnant and that’s why he had to rape me to have sex. So I’m pretty sure my baby was conceived on a night when I wasn’t raped, so why would I hate Jim or wish him any harm? I have a beautiful baby from him and I plan to visit Jim when I have a bodyguard so he can meet his baby, regardless of his marital status, or mine. I think it’s important for people to know their fathers and my baby is more important than other people, so I will make enough cash to be able to be safe when I take her to see him. I am over Jim in the sense that I know that I am not strong enough to be with him because of his issues, but that’s on me and not him. He is who he is and I think people should accept and love people for who they are when they meet and not for who they could be. I want him to be happy and I’m glad he found someone. I’m not a hater like you people. I love to see people happy and I feel bad for not being able to do that for Jim because I said I could and I wasn’t able to. I acknowledge that I made a lot of mistakes that caused whatever happened to happen, so I don’t blame him for anything. I think it was an unfortunate situation, but I learned a lot from it. 

Turncoat said: 

Blanc said: 

We had fun times together as friends but, he has changed significantly since then. I keep waiting for the old him to return but it never does. He is different now. Much more black pulled and curmudgeony, especially toward me. 

You aren't waiting for "the old him", you're waiting for the effect he used to have on you. 

If anything you're seeing a more honest picture of who he is now. 

I agreee with this actually ^

At a certain point someone wants to drive you away, you should just let them. 

He's been trying to go and you won't let him. 

For fucks sake you even interrupt chat any time you feel like he's ignoring you with a big text-tantrum. 

Thats Why I don’t understand why people keep talking about the idea of us as if it’s not dead and gone. He’s not even the same person anymore, and I’ve grown a lot since then. It was literally two years ago. 

We're just conceptually parroting back your own words. 

So I just don’t understand why people keep talking about the “couple” idea as if we were an item when we haven’t been for a very long time and he doesn’t want there to be.  

I can literally link topics you've made that would give people that impression. 

You only seem to hold onto the memories that are related to your current mindset while denying the parts that don't work with it. It makes you look like you're doing some messed up Amnesiac variant of a Madonna/Whore complex with all this rampant self-denial. 

No one here is the bad guy or has done anything horrifically wrong to the other. We just didn’t work out. I’m not right for him he doesn’t like me for who I am lol and he isn’t right for me because I only liked the sober him. Just because we had decent chemistry it doesn’t mean anything if he has lost the drive to pursue it and if we argue more than we enjoy each other’s company.

I'm sure we'll be hearing about how great you two are together once it becomes Spring. 

@Turncoat Hold on, I think there is a misperception here that I think generally can be summed up as you are insuinating I want tryp to want me, or that I haven’t let go as much as he has, or that i am trying to get him back? Something along those lines. 

And I’m not denying that of course there was times in the past where I was attracted or wanted to be together. That’s why i kept saying phrases like, “i liked this less and less over time” 

When a couple has a falling out that is slow and over many months, it’s not a perfect, break and that’s it. In this case, it was more like, a lot of just, randomness and no linear fashion of like, perfect, progression or regression. 

It was very reactive and volatile, and at times, things were great, (for one day) and then, the next, maybe the complete opposite. It would relaly surprise you. 

And that’s why in the end, like I said, i slowly stopped taking it seriously. Though yes there was still an undeniable connection, or, there were feelings here and there patchily, and still may be- 

both of us have *rationally* come to the point now where we’re like, okay, we’re not good for each other obviously. Because tryp is beyond annoyed with me and my existence as a whole, and no longer values me as a person or even as a friend. 

And I’ve gotten to the point where i can’t take him romantically seriously. 

And that’s just reality. 

Even if you saw in the past exhibits of me liking him and wanting to be together, like i said, it was patchy, there was ups and downs, and the falling out was slow and, not a perfect, slope. 

It was a very uneven, break. The opposite of a clean break. Lol. 

And yeah,. Sooo... I’m not denying that i ever had feelings or like, re-writing history to suit my own agenda. I was just explaining my perspective hows its been, and explaining how i felt now, and what i saw now from him as well assuming how he felt based on things he’d expressed. 

I was trying to convey where “we” are at now- so that people could understand, there is no we, and, that I’m not like, trying to get him to come back ‘into my clutches’ like jim insinuated. 

I was upset when he left to fuck CS because then the final grain of hope i had in my heart lingering back there somewhere that maybe things would one day work out some magical random way, that little last grain of hope iw as holding onto subconsciously and I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE was there, those feelings came out at the very last second like. 

At first i was like “sure its whatever, he can fuck who he wants he’s single” and then it hit me a few days later i was like oh, damn so this is really it then?

and it was just a really slow process of, losing him essentially, in every way and. Uhm,,,.. of accepting that loss, as, how it should be. And, also.... um.... you know, it was a comfort zone for me almost like, our friendship together. You could say it was a codependency in a way so. For me it was like, a final, push to let go and just like, get back out there and... really, fully like, completely detach from the idea of us ever being together. 

It just took a while for it to click but theres a pscyhological process that occurs for a monogamous woman when a guy bangs another chic sometimes thats what it takes, like at least for me that’s what it took to realize, oh okay like, he’s genuinely physically committing his body to someone else like his heart is truly not devoted to you. 

Because for me thats how it is like, if my heart is devoted to someone i wouldn’t want to fuck someone else. So, the fact that was so easy for him to do, it showed me like, its a love language thing,. It showed me he really didn’t care about my feelings, and had no feelings for me. And didnt care what message that would show. To me. 

That was the nail in the coffin for me i needed for it to truly click. 

Blanc said: 

@Turncoat Hold on, I think there is a misperception here that I think generally can be summed up as you are insuinating I want tryp to want me, or that I haven’t let go as much as he has, or that i am trying to get him back? Something along those lines. 

Can literally quote you. 

Blanc said: 

Turncoat said: 

Blanc said: 

We had fun times together as friends but, he has changed significantly since then. I keep waiting for the old him to return but it never does. He is different now. Much more black pulled and curmudgeony, especially toward me. 

You aren't waiting for "the old him", you're waiting for the effect he used to have on you. 

If anything you're seeing a more honest picture of who he is now. 

I agreee with this actually ^

At a certain point someone wants to drive you away, you should just let them. 

He's been trying to go and you won't let him. 

For fucks sake you even interrupt chat any time you feel like he's ignoring you with a big text-tantrum. 

Thats Why I don’t understand why people keep talking about the idea of us as if it’s not dead and gone. He’s not even the same person anymore, and I’ve grown a lot since then. It was literally two years ago. 

We're just conceptually parroting back your own words. 

So I just don’t understand why people keep talking about the “couple” idea as if we were an item when we haven’t been for a very long time and he doesn’t want there to be.  

I can literally link topics you've made that would give people that impression. 

You only seem to hold onto the memories that are related to your current mindset while denying the parts that don't work with it. It makes you look like you're doing some messed up Amnesiac variant of a Madonna/Whore complex with all this rampant self-denial. 

No one here is the bad guy or has done anything horrifically wrong to the other. We just didn’t work out. I’m not right for him he doesn’t like me for who I am lol and he isn’t right for me because I only liked the sober him. Just because we had decent chemistry it doesn’t mean anything if he has lost the drive to pursue it and if we argue more than we enjoy each other’s company.

I'm sure we'll be hearing about how great you two are together once it becomes Spring. 

 

@Turncoat Hold on, I think there is a misperception here that I think generally can be summed up as you are insuinating I want tryp to want me, or that I haven’t let go as much as he has, or that i am trying to get him back? Something along those lines. 

 

And I’m not denying that of course there was times in the past where I was attracted or wanted to be together. That’s why i kept saying phrases like, “i liked this less and less over time” 

 

When a couple has a falling out that is slow and over many months, it’s not a perfect, break and that’s it. In this case, it was more like, a lot of just, randomness and no linear fashion of like, perfect, progression or regression. 

 

It was very reactive and volatile, and at times, things were great, (for one day) and then, the next, maybe the complete opposite. It would relaly surprise you. 

 

And that’s why in the end, like I said, i slowly stopped taking it seriously. Though yes there was still an undeniable connection, or, there were feelings here and there patchily, and still may be- 

 

both of us have *rationally* come to the point now where we’re like, okay, we’re not good for each other obviously. Because tryp is beyond annoyed with me and my existence as a whole, and no longer values me as a person or even as a friend. 

 

And I’ve gotten to the point where i can’t take him romantically seriously. 

 

And that’s just reality. 

 

Even if you saw in the past exhibits of me liking him and wanting to be together, like i said, it was patchy, there was ups and downs, and the falling out was slow and, not a perfect, slope. 

 

It was a very uneven, break. The opposite of a clean break. Lol. 

 

And yeah,. Sooo... I’m not denying that i ever had feelings or like, re-writing history to suit my own agenda. I was just explaining my perspective hows its been, and explaining how i felt now, and what i saw now from him as well assuming how he felt based on things he’d expressed. 

 

I was trying to convey where “we” are at now- so that people could understand, there is no we, and, that I’m not like, trying to get him to come back ‘into my clutches’ like jim insinuated. 

 

I was upset when he left to fuck CS because then the final grain of hope i had in my heart lingering back there somewhere that maybe things would one day work out some magical random way, that little last grain of hope iw as holding onto subconsciously and I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE was there, those feelings came out at the very last second like. 

 

At first i was like “sure its whatever, he can fuck who he wants he’s single” and then it hit me a few days later i was like oh, damn so this is really it then?

 

and it was just a really slow process of, losing him essentially, in every way and. Uhm,,,.. of accepting that loss, as, how it should be. And, also.... um.... you know, it was a comfort zone for me almost like, our friendship together. You could say it was a codependency in a way so. For me it was like, a final, push to let go and just like, get back out there and... really, fully like, completely detach from the idea of us ever being together. 

 

It just took a while for it to click but theres a pscyhological process that occurs for a monogamous woman when a guy bangs another chic sometimes thats what it takes, like at least for me that’s what it took to realize, oh okay like, he’s genuinely physically committing his body to someone else like his heart is truly not devoted to you. 

 

Because for me thats how it is like, if my heart is devoted to someone i wouldn’t want to fuck someone else. So, the fact that was so easy for him to do, it showed me like, its a love language thing,. It showed me he really didn’t care about my feelings, and had no feelings for me. And didnt care what message that would show. To me. 

 

That was the nail in the coffin for me i needed for it to truly click. 

 It might be the nail in the coffin but we know you got a claw hammer and you'll be using it in a few weeks 

Dr. Winner said: 

Blanc said: 

Why do you do badly want me to be the bad guy? I’m not going to sit here and defend myself to an internet troll for hours. But yeah if this is the story you want to spin on me, and distort the truth to suit your own perrogative, then what’s the point. 

You were raised by someone who really badly damaged the relationship you and the female figure in your life and you often try to paint a lot of women in this light, the same light you see the person who hurt you in some way, as. 

And I understand because I’ve been there, seeing reality in a distorted way because of shit you went through.

Its okay to have this sort of reaction. I am just one of the most open people here so it’s easiest to Make someone who is very open, into a vulnerable target for judgement. 

It’s the internet. It happens. But, the person you are describing, that’s not how I am at all. 

it’s just the way you’re seeing things, and everyone sees things differently and that’s okay. All I can do is continue to be open and honest and live my authentic life. And not worry about the  judgement and perception others have of choose to have. 

ive done what I can to clarify as best I can but... yeah. I dunno what else I can do 

and I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s opinions. We all have got a right to our own individual opinions and yeah. You do you man. No biggie. No hate. I get it. 

I accept everyone’s opinions as valid 

if it weren’t for differing perspectives how could we have progress or change. It’s not about being the most right or the most factual sometimes there is benefit to the sheer variation to provide insight to ourselves and find growth from it in some way. So thanks for sharing your opinions with me and I hope it can make me better or the world a better place in some way. 

 I did not provide info about Jim’s sad childhood so people could use it against him. You’re a mean person. Just because you don’t think he is correct, doesn’t mean you should use his past as ammo to discredit his opinion.

I wasn’t trying to discredit his opinion i was providing my perspective and wasn’t trying to ‘use it against him.’ I didn’t think it would be an issue to lightly vaguely say just purely my opinion that I see a pattern where he may demonize women a bit more harshly or more quick to at least, simply because of having had a rough experience with a female figure in his life. 

You could have just said that everyone’s opinion is valid.

I said that at the end to make sure he understood I did not want to invalidate his perspective, by providing the perspective I provided I had. My opinion. I wanted to provide my opinion on his opinion but without negating his opinion. 

There was no need to throw that in his face. You may not be evil, but you do some evil things.

I genuinely didn’t think that was evil or throwing it in his face in a mean way, I meant it very gently suggested but I understand that my naturally confrontational way of speaking, i can be blunt, and to the point and, it is far too much for most people. I wasn’t doing it with ill-intent though, or to be evil or hurtful. I didn’t think it would hurt specifically him and I kept it vague to reserve that sort of privacy surrounding the issue- because the details aren’t necessary. I wasn’t trying to like, I dunno... I really wasn’t trying to be rude. I Just was trying to get across a thought I had but yeah, typically these issues are sensitive topics and I should of treaded more lightly here. I forget that not everyone enjoys the bitter cup of coffee I can be when getting across my thoughts. 

He is actually correct.

I never said he was incorrect. I thank people for their opinions and perspectives because it helps me to do better. We all have flaws but how will we notice them if it weren’t for others that reflect them back onto us so glaringly. It’s all character building, we’re all human and we are all learning. Like I said all I can do is continue to be authentic and, try, you know to show, the person that I am. I can’t like, control the past and how people have perceived it, or how people perceive me. 

You are very selfish and you treated Trypt poorly

I dont know exactly what you are talking about here but. I will say that at this time I was very, afraid. And so I didn’t give myself fully to that relationship because I was afraid. And those fears were very much my own, not caused by, him. So I wasn’t giving it my all or all in, because of that fear just being so loud at this time. I’ve grown past it a bit now but it just takes me a really long time to trust people. And i mean a really long time. And that’s not his fault for being impatient with that. It’s truly on me for not being able to build a sense of trust with people faster. 

and you knew he had issues going into your relationship and you didn’t let him work through them himself, so he went right back to what he was doing, and yes, even got worse.

We were just friends, and he asked me to help him get sober like i had. And he proposed the idea of me helping him, in the agreement that he would help me too. At the time I was completely new and honestly, going through recovery alone int he beginning is super fucking hard. And having someone to talk with you alongside it was really fucking nice and, I kind of needed it. I was like, insanely, desperate for help. For someone just to like, sort of kick my ass about it but in a loving way. I knew I needed it and so when life presented this opportunity to me of course like, I’m not going to ignore his call when he calls and like, he wanted to get clean too and I really thought I was doing the right thing by helping him too. He asked me to do it. It was his idea entirely. For us to hold each other accountable and to do it together, like an agreement. Getting clean together. Etc. 

We both went through times that were tough while using together. And then, we both talked about getting clean together so long. And then i finally went and did it and he just was kind of inspired by it idk. 

So like, what I’m trying to say is like, it just *happened* it unfolded that way, naturally. It wasn’t me like, machiavellian style manipulating the whole thing like it’s not my fault we wound up getting clean together. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, and he was the one who suggested it to me. 

I knew he would relapse if he went back home, because thats how it works. Old environments, old associations, old habits, old ways, old life. And there was alcohol in the house there, and people consuming it, offering it ot him, etc. I knew it was going to happen if he went home. He is very easily relapsable. In that I mean, like, the slightest, inconvenience, stress, or anxiety, etc. He might end up back at it. It was very fragile. 

I was trying to help prevent that by getting him into a program but he just wasn’t about it, and wanted to do it on his own without like, rehab, or NA, or IOP. I even suggested going to rehab together. Like, I really tried, but slowly I had to just let him make his own decisions, because I wasn’t going to play that role of like, “nagging wife” to “go get yourself sober” that wouldn’t of helped. All that would of done was damage our relationship. I knew he had to make the decisions himself, and at that point he was on his own journey and learning things in his own time, in his own ways. And I’m not a part of it. 

You can “kick” together but, after that point, the staying clean part, is a very individual journey and subjective experience. That has to be had that way. 

Even if you want him back and he hates himself enough to want you back, I don’t think you are a good match because he needs someone to care about him and not just themselves and their idea of who he should be. Jim is 100% correct, figure out how to care about others in a selfless way and then you can try to win him back. 

(Cont.) 

I agree CS, he needs whoever is right for him. And I’m not trying to prevent that from happening what so ever. 

Turncoat said: 

Blanc said: 

@Turncoat Hold on, I think there is a misperception here that I think generally can be summed up as you are insuinating I want tryp to want me, or that I haven’t let go as much as he has, or that i am trying to get him back? Something along those lines. 

Can literally quote you. 

 

 Sorry I’m not phrasing things right because I’m a complete fucking ding bat when I’m writing I’m so fucking ADD i forget what I’m trying to say when I’m mid sentence and don’t complete the thought fully 

so that i don’t get across the actual sentence i was trying to say. 

That was an incomplete thought there. Let me correct it.

”hold on, i think there is a misperception that can be summed up as, that i am SAYING i don’t want him nor have i ever wanted him. Which goes against my previous actions and behaviors. (Making it look like i am trying to lie about the past, re-write history, to suit a larger agenda of some sort)” 

And then I clarified about the process of falling out and how it works. And how its a messy and imperfect process, and there was times where we wanted each other and times where we didn’t. Or were uncertain. 

And that even now, just because there is attraction or a connection or whatever, it still, bottom line doesnt mean that it’s what is right 

Just wait 'til Spring. 

Whorechata said: 

Blanc said: 

That was the nail in the coffin for me i needed for it to truly click. 

 It might be the nail in the coffin but we know you got a claw hammer and you'll be using it in a few weeks 

There is a larger picture here going on. There is underlying processes occurring for both of us, subjectively as we change and age, and grow as people. We are processing a lot. Not just feelings about each other, but things within ourselves too. 

So because its an ever evolving story, it is always subject to change.