You don't seem to have been doing anything impactful, novel, or emotionally significant for a while. Getting a 9-5 doesn't count, that's a relative means to an anticlimactic end. It would be more surprising if you weren't morose.
You're making a big assumption which is that you know everything going on in my life currently...
you did at one time when we were together, mostly but. It's been years since then.
But yeah happiness doesn't have a lot to do with what you do as much as it does something else... hard to explain. Just in my opinion.
But it's a balance, obviously what you do does have some impact inevitably. But it's not, everything there is, to happiness.
And depression isn't necessarily the lack of happiness or, the lack of, things you require to be happy- as much as it is a psychological disorder. My diagnosis is major depressive disorder, aka clinical depression.
So, this is more of a psychological thing that takes a therapeutic approach, in addition to life style choices and behaviors, etc.
So yeah, what you *do* is half the battle but, it's not all of it when dealing with this type of disorder. :)
ex. someone with clinical depression could be doing everything right, they could have all the right perspectives, health, balance, nutrition. sound perspectives, balanced life style choices. Exercise. Social engagement, fulfillment in every area of life possible. But, there would still be something going wrong, and they would still be struggling. Because this disorder isn't a result of the person being at fault in some way or not doing enough, it's often not external at all.
Depression can be circumstantial, which is labelled as circumstantial depression in order to clarify the distinction between types. There are many different types of depression, thus many different treatment approaches.
It has to be this way because, telling someone with clinical depression that they aren't "doing enough" will ultimately just worsen the experience for them and drive them further to suicide, which, statistically the probability of is inevitably already very high. It's hard to explain why that happens. That would take longer to explain but...
But to keep it simple, my brain chemicals don't work right, it distorts my experience of life pretty seriously, and drastically. To the point where, the reality I'm experiencing is kind of awful. So to take someone who's already getting the shit kicked out of them with depression who's trying their best, and really struggling with it, it's not easy you know. And then kick them in the face with a, "you should try harder, bitch." just, ouch. lol.... it's like, you're already walking to work in the pouring freezing rain with not umbrella and you're running an hour late, and you couldn't find your jacket so you're developing hypothermia at this point- and someone comes out of no where on the side of the road and just slams you with a tidal wave of dirty puddle water head to toe.
it makes sense to you logically to be like, "hey, maybe, you should do more stuff." but it's not the approach you wanna take when trying to help someone with this specific type of diagnosis. If that worked, it would be so easily cured and we wouldn't really need therapists and medication. It's just a little more complicated than, telling someone to be better, to get better.
I guess we can call that the "personal trainer" approach. Like, "c'mon, just left more weights and you'll get stronger. easy."
it's.... more complex than that unfortunately but I do appreciate the incentive and I know you're coming from the right, place and have good intentions. Like, I get where you're coming from. It's just, a more functionalist approach.