Sociopath Community

i guess this is karma for all the threads and conversations i derailed with provocative fuckery over the years

@Sintetika TC expanded on my initial point, you need to stop projecting your self hate and the anger you have towards those who hurt you, on subgroups of people you feel its "ok" and safer to project it on, because you cant have it point to yourself or to those who hurt you.

If it was your parental objects that hurt you, then you are redirecting your rage you have towards them to safer subgroups because you dont feel its safe to direct it to your parents, sam vaknin wrote some good stuff about this

Do invite me to your upcoming mass shooting though, we have similar targets (jews, wh*te dogs etc)

Bossroach said: 

i guess this is karma for all the threads and conversations i derailed with provocative fuckery over the years

@Sintetika TC expanded on my initial point, you need to stop projecting your self hate and the anger you have towards those who hurt you, on subgroups of people you feel its "ok" and safer to project it on, because you cant have it point to yourself or to those who hurt you.

If it was your parental objects that hurt you, then you are redirecting your rage you have towards them to safer subgroups because you dont feel its safe to direct it to your parents, sam vaknin wrote some good stuff about this

Do invite me to your upcoming mass shooting though, we have similar targets (jews, wh*te dogs etc)

 I can't think of any time my parents abused me, my dad certainly didn't since I barely ever saw him, and when I did, we was alright.


My family I live with, my mom's side. They are annoying, and I guess they restrict me, but I seek to break that restriction. I wasn't deeply abused or anything like that.


The closest to abuse I can think of is when I got close to someone online, and they lied about their life to me, to get close to me, and try to make me kill myself. Essentially catfished and manipulated. Even then, I'm well over that and I don't really care about it anymore. 


No one in my current life is "hurting me" 


Anyone who hurt me, I've already risen above. 

Sintetika said:

Anyone who hurt me, I've already risen above. 

 They still have you running sadistic and power reclaim fantasies in your head

Bossroach said:

They still have you running sadistic and power reclaim fantasies in your head

 Do such things have to stem from people whom have hurt me? 


I don't know how I became this way, I just did. I can't think of anyone who actually hurt me that I still have issues with. I mean there's one partially, but not because of what she did, but because she seems to possibly been affiliated with pedophiles, and thus if I could, I would've destroyed her. 

Even then, I recognize there's nothing I can do about that now, she's long gone and I couldn't find her even if I had tried. So, it doesn't bother me. 



I guess I could have a deep hatred for those I deem degenerate because I view them as the ones causing the pain in the world, and when I used to be emotionally weak, the state of the world, also affected my mood and made me depressed.

Is that possible?

its a stretch but maybe you hate those degenerate elements because they remind you of the vulnerability and weakness of your old self, this is my take as a professional internet armchair psych

Sintetika said: 

Bossroach said: 

i guess this is karma for all the threads and conversations i derailed with provocative fuckery over the years

@Sintetika TC expanded on my initial point, you need to stop projecting your self hate and the anger you have towards those who hurt you, on subgroups of people you feel its "ok" and safer to project it on, because you cant have it point to yourself or to those who hurt you.

If it was your parental objects that hurt you, then you are redirecting your rage you have towards them to safer subgroups because you dont feel its safe to direct it to your parents, sam vaknin wrote some good stuff about this

Do invite me to your upcoming mass shooting though, we have similar targets (jews, wh*te dogs etc)

I can't think of any time my parents abused me, my dad certainly didn't since I barely ever saw him, and when I did, we was alright.

Not that this if proof of anything, but it's concerning how much of your past is "I can't remember", especially when you narrate much of it like it was loud and chaotic emotions in your head while your body did nothing. 

My family I live with, my mom's side. They are annoying, and I guess they restrict me, but I seek to break that restriction. I wasn't deeply abused or anything like that.

I'm guessing the family doesn't agree with your life path? Is that what makes it "restrictive"? 

The closest to abuse I can think of is when I got close to someone online, and they lied about their life to me, to get close to me, and try to make me kill myself. Essentially catfished and manipulated. Even then, I'm well over that and I don't really care about it anymore. 

How'd that go? 

No one in my current life is "hurting me" 

Exactly, it's the perfect time to work on yourself. 

Who are you even mounting a defense against at this point?

Anyone who hurt me, I've already risen above. 

...you'd really like to believe that, huh? 

Putting distance between them and you does not mean they don't still live in your head. Being truly "forgotten" is unlikely. 

Sintetika said: 

Bossroach said:

They still have you running sadistic and power reclaim fantasies in your head

Do such things have to stem from people whom have hurt me? 

You certainly act like something gave you a chip on your shoulder. Judging from what little of your background you've discussed, you sound like you have loud feelings you don't give the full time of day. 

How much of this do you think might stem from growing up within a poor social life? I figure it's more of a symptom than a cause personally. 

I don't know how I became this way, I just did.

This is why introspection is good, otherwise you'll just keep asking questions while your body seemingly acts on it's own. 

I can't think of anyone who actually hurt me that I still have issues with. I mean there's one partially, but not because of what she did, but because she seems to possibly been affiliated with pedophiles, and thus if I could, I would've destroyed her. 

You've mentioned two pedo-related people you'd hurt despite having once been friends. 

Bit harsh innit? 

Even then, I recognize there's nothing I can do about that now, she's long gone and I couldn't find her even if I had tried. So, it doesn't bother me. 

So because you've failed, it doesn't bother you? 

Interesting escapist rationale. 

I guess I could have a deep hatred for those I deem degenerate because I view them as the ones causing the pain in the world, and when I used to be emotionally weak, the state of the world, also affected my mood and made me depressed.

"The World" is where you transfer your feelings. 

You've also spent quite some time demonizing your past self you claim to not remember clearly, the one that's blurry with the occasional contradiction. 

Turncoat said:

Not that this if proof of anything, but it's concerning how much of your past is "I can't remember", especially when you narrate much of it like it was loud and chaotic emotions in your head while your body did nothing.

Well, I would say that considering most of my life was spent on a computer, that could be contributing to the fact that I don't remember a lot, but I swore I remembered more before, and sometimes I remember more and more. I can try to remember things, it just takes a lot, but it feels like not much necessarily happened. 

Turncoat said:

I'm guessing the family doesn't agree with your life path? Is that what makes it "restrictive"?

 Well, no they don't, it was restrictive before hand. Also, their dependence on me is annoying.

Turncoat said:

How'd that go?

 Well, I wasn't the only one, and a group of people comforted me, and her friends warned me of what she was going to try to do. I felt betrayed and destroyed, then grew hatred of her but later forgave her.

Turncoat said:

Exactly, it's the perfect time to work on yourself.

Who are you even mounting a defense against at this point?

 No one? In what way is there to work on myself or a need to? 

Turncoat said:

...you'd really like to believe that, huh?

Putting distance between them and you does not mean they don't still live in your head. Being truly "forgotten" is unlikely.

 I didn't put distance between them and I, I rose above them. They aren't as great as they made themselves out to be in regards to me. Their actions were pathetic.


ALSO

Sintetika said: 

Turncoat said:

Not that this if proof of anything, but it's concerning how much of your past is "I can't remember", especially when you narrate much of it like it was loud and chaotic emotions in your head while your body did nothing.

Well, I would say that considering most of my life was spent on a computer, that could be contributing to the fact that I don't remember a lot

That's a lot of people's lives in one form or another, and they seem to have quite a bit fleshed out. 

I swore I remembered more before, and sometimes I remember more and more. I can try to remember things, it just takes a lot, but it feels like not much necessarily happened. 

What sort of things does it take? 

Turncoat said:

I'm guessing the family doesn't agree with your life path? Is that what makes it "restrictive"?

Well, no they don't, it was restrictive before hand. Also, their dependence on me is annoying.

When did the path hit you anyway? 

Edit: Wait their dependence on you? Don't you have that backwards? 

Turncoat said:

How'd that go?

Well, I wasn't the only one, and a group of people comforted me, and her friends warned me of what she was going to try to do. I felt betrayed and destroyed, then grew hatred of her but later forgave her.

What motivated the catfish behaviors? 

Turncoat said:

Exactly, it's the perfect time to work on yourself.

Who are you even mounting a defense against at this point?

No one? In what way is there to work on myself or a need to? 

Introspection. 

Turncoat said:

...you'd really like to believe that, huh?

Putting distance between them and you does not mean they don't still live in your head. Being truly "forgotten" is unlikely.

 I didn't put distance between them and I, I rose above them. 

What's the difference here? 

I mean, you put distance between yourself and you as well, and you seem to use similar language towards yourself. 

Turncoat said:

That's a lot of people's lives in one form or another, and they seem to have quite a bit fleshed out.

 Every attempt I've made to discussing something about myself, isn't good enough for you. I don't know what else there is to DISCUSS. 


My daily routine consists of this. Waking up, getting on the computer, watching videos, or playing games, or talking to friends or 1 and 3 or 2 and 3 together. I take a shower and all that obviously, I tend to have to go do some things for my family, like get some some soda, or grab them something for them, while they sit down and watch TV, or I have to take my grandma up town to cash a check, or go to the beauty shop, or the nursing home to see my uncle. 

I mainly do "getting on the computer, watching videos, or playing games, or talking to friends or 1 and 3 or 2 and 3 together." that makes up the majority of my days, with the exception of taking about 1-2 hours to work out. Well, Wednesdays I'm gone for about 3-5 hours because I drive up to do my workouts with my ssgts.

Do I need to list shows I've been watching that I found interesting, recently, I've been watching anime, since I was bored. I've been watching One Punch Man, My Hero Academia, and JoJo's Bizzare Adventure: Golden Wind. 

I like One Punch Man just because of the character of Saitama and how he has all this power but is just a simple guy. It's comedic.

I like My Hero Academia, I guess because of justice? Though I've rooted for the bad guys before.

Golden Wind, I love Giorno Giovanna and his character and his dream to take over the mafia and stop corruption in the city. 

Games I play are mostly as of recently, is just Hearts of Iron IV, CS:GO, and Minecraft.


On Minecraft, I talk with some kids going into the marines with me, and we just have fun. The Saturday before last, we went out and ate chinese together. It was pleasant. 

I will respond to the rest later, I have to go to the gym now. I will be back in 1-1.5 hours.