You really don't think things through.
I have thought it through, you don't think I've had my doubts at times? I wanted to go into NROTC because at least then it'd be easier and I'd have better options, but my recruiter doesn't care because I'm just a number in his quota, which I expected to happen, a year ago, I didn't care, because I had faith in my comrade, now that faith is broken, and me and my fellow comrades have placed doubt in him.
I've thought about trying to go back to college, but I most likely wouldn't be able to go to the one I wanted, because I made a poor decision of skipping finals and messing up my transcript. Not only this, if I were to give up, that would ruin the reputation I've set up, the money and time I've put into this. It took convincing and time to get to where I am now, and if I just gave up, that'd fuck up my image and give my family more power to restrict me, and be like "I told you so."
I've weighed the options and in my mind. This is the only way I've got. I'm not entirely scared of it, I believe I can pull through, and I believe it'll be good for me.