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FUCK. i'm not a psychopath


Posts: 201

Ok......I'm becoming more & more self-aware......and, I am a lot better at getting people (coworkers etc) to like me, the respect part only came from a few people. those of you thar said it was a "BPD high" were probably right. I wasn't completely in touch with reality when I said i turned into a psychopath.

 

the truth is, the more intelligent of my coworkers KNOW that I play dumb and helpless, and they think I do it because i'm lazy, spoiled, maybe entititled idk & it makes some of them not like me (but i can make them like me if i hold a conversation long enough to get on their good side) I work with mostly boys and I relate to them by acting helpless, playing stupid and asking for help and flirting with them and I just realized this is how people see me. they see me as a dumb helpless blond girl

i want to change this. I know its learned helplessness from my childhood, why i relate to others like this.....i'm not retarded or socially awkward. its just when i feel intimidated i automatically go into helpless mode. FUCK i hate that i have to be self-aware and admit to my self the truth of how people see me. and i'm mad that I feel helpless. i'm getting the knowledge to be more self-providing but it's not easy and i still feel mentally 4 sometimes. what is the fastest way I can change this? I don't want to be like this. i WISH i was a psychopath. i have some traits.....but I'm not. this fucking sucks 

Posts: 84
FUCK. i'm not a psychopath

LOL

Posts: 476
FUCK. i'm not a psychopath

LMFAO

Posts: 201
FUCK. i'm not a psychopath

this is the hardest thing I've ever had to admit to my self and I'm making it sound worse than it is but idc I needed to get this out. & I need advice

Posts: 84
FUCK. i'm not a psychopath

you have many options. chapo? this young lady(?) needs assistance

Posts: 201
FUCK. i'm not a psychopath

it's hillarious I know. I wonder what people think of u in social settings or if u ever even leave the house (:

Posts: 797
FUCK. i'm not a psychopath

Well I will try to help because I've been called here. So the reason that the coworkers you find intelligent think you are lazy, spoiled, and entitled is probably because you are, and they have plenty of other reasons not to like you too. Eventually the stupid helpless flirty girl gets really annoying, its intolerable for most people if she isn't attractive. Honestly you're one of those people who acts helpless because you are helpless, and if you can't find a sugar daddy then you should realize how far behind you are in life and fixing it. Suicide is also a viable option, hope this helped.

Posts: 56
FUCK. i'm not a psychopath

Big surprise

Posts: 567
FUCK. i'm not a psychopath

 " when i feel intimidated i automatically go into helpless mode. "

 

That's kinda hot, you made my cock hard.

Posts: 201
FUCK. i'm not a psychopath

Ok, you are coming across as a dick but there is some good advice in there. 1), I act dumb and helpless because in my childhood I was taught the only way to be in control is to be dumb and helpless (and reliant on my parents). it is how I control, but I am switching into "fight" mode instead of dissociating/regressing.

2) I wish I could commit suicide but I can't, my will and fight to live is too strong. Also, deep down I love my self and am proud of my self for what I have been through and accomplished, and that I still have empathy and don't need to hurt people to survive (like my parents, and you/most other people) the most repulsive trait to me in humanity is those that get off on hurting weak people. it kind of disgusts me and I am self-righteous about my ability to not be like this, considering my background. I genuinely love and have empathy for my self, so suicide is not an option.

3) I need to know specifically how to switch all my "helpless" traits into self-helping traits (instead of automatically feeling like I need to ask for help/act like a child) I have made some progress in this but my anger is building and I want to fix all the rest of my weak traits like now I think I have the capabilities to do this with some research on the internet and experimenting

but I thought I would check with u all for advice 1st, you have all been very helpful to me and my life, intentional or not (:

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