Systematic stated: source post
I'm surpirsed at how much I can relate to your description.
I understand the emotional numbness and the habitual need to dominate others. My IQ and intelligence test rank me as average, my knowledge relies heavily on my perception and the interpretation of others. I love history for this matter.
I am driven towards success simply because I deserve it, and have come to expect nothing less than perfection from myself. A USMC Reservist, Infantryman with a job making 3 times as much as my peers. Combined with the fact that I have my foot in the door of the real estate business. No applaud or approval is at all sought after by these accomplishments, just reinforcing the possibility that have one of your symptoms.
I've heard the voices and have sought after the cause behind them. I eventually chalked it up to be a consequence from socially isolating myself, but I'll consider your explanation.
Do you have NPD?
Systematic stated: source post
Needing that much sex just shows poor self control over emotional urges. That's why I look down upon it.
Systematic stated: source post
"You say emotional despite claiming otherwise? Look at Luna and Systematic." (Edvard)
Lol, must be those spot on person reading skills again huh
Months later after the biggest emotional display in Sociopath Community/World history::
Systematic stated: source post
I'm no better, Ive had my hothead moments, my emotional outbursts that have pushed me to lash out at people.
Around the same time as the admission above:
Systematic stated: source post
So does this mean you're vouching for ed's self proclaimed, expert people reading skills? Noting how he is with subtleties, I'd chalk this up to you two knowing eachother for awhile.
Systematic stated: source post
All of this work and then you realize it's been 4 years and that all of this will amount to nothing. The fact that when I die my last thoughts will be of her and she won't even think anything of it besides the loss of a distant friend. The fact that I am physically, mentally and financially superior to any man she has dated but yet I can only watch. The simple fact that she is everything to me and yet I am nothing to her. the fact that when I'm old and gray, I'll still be here.The best way to summarize this is to a stockbroker who has sold everything he has and will ever have for this share that is constantly sinking and he is just riding it out because he can't afford the loss.
Turncoat stated: source post
Systematic stated: source post
I've never failed anything.
This is why I laugh a little when people tell me I couldnt be a narc
Diesel Potato stated: source post
Systematic stated: source post
Besides, half of the fun comes from my target being hard to get and having as many prerequisites as I do. There is no fun when you just cut to the chase. As for my next target, well this one isn't my first. This has been most challenging out 3.
Okay wait I just caught this one.
I thought you only had one target.
Diesel Potato stated: source pos
Systematic stated: source post
I signed my life to my country for the next 6 years as an infantryman.
Wait...
Systematic stated: source post
Occasionally, the impulses would slip past me and some incident of anonymous violence would come upon the men she formerly dated but other than that I was fine.
Uhhh...
Systematic stated: source post
No condom, dont even think I'd not pull out. The day after pill is 40$, that moment, priceless.
Willingly ignoring the rest of this, holy shit dude, you know what that level of hormone dump can do to people right? It's also less effective the more times that it's taken.
"I thought you only had one target."
I did. These quotes were taken at a time where I was massively delusional and still stalking, so there are some complete lies(i'll point them out if presented). Roughly 3 years ago, but yeah there's a treasure trove of quotes like this. Almost all of them all around 2013, early 14.
Prime examples:
http://sociopath-community.com/posts/55d03b7b4680112f2da4f3e5
http://sociopath-community.com/posts/55d03b7c4680112f2da4f46c
http://sociopath-community.com/posts/55d03b7b4680112f2da4f3b4
http://sociopath-community.com/posts/55d03b7b4680112f2da4f380
"Wait..."
I was actively still in the military at that time
"Willingly ignoring the rest of this, holy shit dude, you know what that level of hormone dump can do to people right? It's also less effective the more times that it's taken. "
At that time, the level of attachment really couldn't have gotten any worse.
Systematic stated: source post
Sir, you should know there are hardly any true lesbians in todays society.
"I hope I'm making sense here, lol."
Yeah, I get what you're saying. I've even been conflicted about the narc label myself in the past.
" As you got older, the former sort of dwindled and left you desiring to be a strong force amidst chaos. You desire annihilation and apocalyptic scenarios, but at the same time you like to be anchored."
That's definitely the first part of it.
"In a sense, taking on the identity of a "narc" does that for you."
Identity of the pd itself doesn't bear much significance. I havent cared for what it's called, just that it exists. I've called it a lot of things in the past mistakenly, covert narcissism just seems to fit more than the others.
http://narcissisticbehavior.net/revealing-the-two-faces-of-narcissism-overt-and-covert-narcissism/
http://www1.appstate.edu/~hillrw/Narcissism/shycovertnarcissist.html
"So from that one thing comes a sense of endless supportive opportunities."
I'll try my best to avoid using my own past testaments/experiences on the matter