I'm legit turning into a psychopath (minus violent/sadistic urges). This isn't a joke but probably no one will believe me. my emotions/social anxiety is numbed out, I feel good like I'm on opiates 24/7 but I'm sober & opiates don't even compare, I think clear and time passes so fast, I'm more intelligent and can think so much clearer, and I say the exact perfect things to people without even trying, it just rolls off my tongue and people are actually respecting me for the 1st time in my life......people, like all people I talked to the past week at my new job either like me or don't notice me if I'm blending in but no one doesn't like me, and everyone respects me, THIS IS SO WEIRD. lol
Lol......u seem jealous. Nope, my BPD highs were very very unstable, full of mood swings even when I was high and not one single person in my entire life has respected me up until this point. including my entire family that used to hate me and treat me like shit. but now they respect me, ask me for advice and buy me things/send me money. this isn't a high u dumb bitch (: this is permanent.
Turq I thought we were all so weak and u FINALLY FUCKING LEFT. Why are u back now? This is bullshit, we just got rid of blanc....... this site is just beginning to suck a whole lot less and then u come back. WHAT THE FUCK GOD WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK.
including my entire family that used to hate me and treat me like shit. but now they respect me, ask me for advice and buy me things/send me money.
Ha ha ha you're so pathetic.
They are concerned about your even more awkward current behavior and do nice things out of pity and sympathy. Same to other things really...
switching from BPD to covert Narcissistic pd?
by turqu0ise » Fri Aug 19, 2016 6:19 am
I'm new to this forum (:
I had the realization tonight that I'm a covert narcissist, and I have not ever been more suicidal - it's interesting because up until today I thought I healed from BPD and I was experiencing a lot of happiness and delusional thoughts of being this like enlightened spiritual angel that faced all my demons and I'm just so special and so much better than all the other dumb humans that don't know the truth, u know covert narcissistic type thoughts.
but I don't even have any friends lol, and it's like just when I thought I healed my self well now I'm realizing that I'm still super dysfunctional and can't have a normal relationship that isn't co dependent or have friends like a normal human. so I literally am avoiding trying to make friends because I know deep down I'm not healthy or sane and thank god I don't have kids because if I was a mom I would ruin their lives and I know that's the truth.
and it's like, does this $#%^ ever end? like ever? can I just be ######6 normal please? if I can't be normal I'm going to kill my self because I'm really done like this isn't a life
Re: switching from BPD to covert Narcissistic pd?
by turqu0ise » Sat Aug 20, 2016 4:12 pm
Akuma wrote:And what makes you think that your idea that you have covert narcissism is any more valid than your idea that you healed yourself from BPD?
u are right. I'm noticing how BPD my entire post is lol. by healed I mean......(in most cases) I can stop my negative thoughts from turning paranoid. I used to not be able to do that. the reason I think I am a covert N is I feel empty without having a narc or psychopathic male in my life, but I'm choosing to isolate so I'm not currently co dependent on one. and, I have delusions of being more special and spiritual and intelligent than other humans but I think I just killed those delusions by creating this post lol. it hit my ego hard. and i'm starting to think that my purpose on this earth isn't to be special.....it's to heal from the damage of being raised by narcissistic parents. it's not something new, a lot of other people are doing this, i'm not "special"....and its ok. because it is still beautiful to think that there is hope in healing my own self (:
tfw u feel ur neurons shut off and on
Re: switching from BPD to covert Narcissistic pd?
by turqu0ise » Sun Aug 21, 2016 7:07 pm
octopuslol wrote:How long ago did you recover from BPD? Or were you just in remission? Because what you're describing sounds like unstable self-image, which yes, can contain grandiosity.
I think I still have BPD traits but it seems like the root of my disorder(s) is covert narcissism? If i wasn't a covert narcissist i think I wouldn't have BPD. i think all BPDs have a core of covert narcissism but maybe I'm wrong? it is the truth in my case but I am starting to think it is curable since I'm feeling more connected with humans and not delusional after making this post