Sociopath Community

Things to trick people into thinking you are normal...

1. Stand in line for days to get the tickets to some sports game.

2. Whine constantly.

3. Buy lots of lottery tickets.

4. Try a bunch of fad diets then give up.

5. Read magazine articles and believe every word.

6. Pretend to care what celebrities are up to right now.

7. Watch television for hours.

8. Lecture children about the benefit of digging up turnips.

10. Talk to cats in a baby voice.

11. Daydream about the beach whenever you get lectures about turnips.

12. Show the ultimate support for animal rights by wearing a shirt or a stickers.

Which of the two is cuter?

Abnornal behavior

Make a to do list with acitivities you have already achieved.

Pay your debts in pennies.

Hang gummy worms from your nose during an argument.

Use your keyboard to surf down staircases.

Abnomal behaviors and counteractions to seem normal.

A ) Laughing at lame jokes.

C) Commit violent actions inspired by television shows you watch. Gag, throw up, sleep, whack your child, rob a bank, hope to find a show that does not insult your intelligence.

A) Gargling water before trying to start a wave at an opera.

C) Sing passionately along with the performers with your own harmony.

A) Make a scene about the bad food at a restaurant.

C) Dump the food into a nearby potted plant.

A) Applauding honest effort by either team at a sports game.

C) Whining to Zeus or the pope for every miss.

A) Running slow drivers off the road.

C) Keep your distance and let someone else run them off the road.

A) Hand a note making the employees run down to the bank vault of money you stored.

C) Hope the checks you got a while back are still valid.

On the right!

These activities will not convince anyone you are normal... So stop o.o

Accepting a job as a toilet paper recycling specialist.

Tying a bag of gulf clubs to your bumper.

Wrapping the water skii rope around your neck to make sure you don't get away.

Use a friend's forehead to break the driveways.

Having a violent argument with yourself.

Blowing your nose on your pets.

Selling a lawn mower because you know you can do your own grazing.

Recycling your boyfriend.

Use a chainsaw to scratch your friend's back.

Diving in front of traffic to rescue a racoon.

A list of anormal people...

Burt, Lesa, Dave, Drew, Cathy, Carolyn, Wikki, Wiley, Lisa, Kimberly, Brandon, Charlie, Joseph, Chelsea, Rebecca, Todd, Karl, and Courtney. If your name is not listed do not be offended because that would be abnormal...

Useful tips...

The next time a sales telemarketer calls try one of these following solutions...

1. Talk like Donald duck.

2. Scream "Hello is this 911? My baby is chocking"

3.  While he is talking say "Hello, hello Melving!"

4. Make airplane and truck sounds.

5. Kiss the phone receiver saying "You can run but you cant hide".

6. Ask specific questions about members of their family and then threaten to start killing them if they do not leave you alone.

7. "This has been a test of the emergency board system. This is only a test"

8. Have someone in the background saying "if we can keep him talking for just five more minutes we can zero in on his location and have the swat team there".

9. Volunteer to call them back on their home phone later tonight.

Abonrnal behavior...

Trying to get enough speed to time travel.

Trying to get enough speed to crack a rock.

Weed your garden with explosives.

Throw rocks at your own car.

Perform surgery on yourself to make your nose longer.

Put anthrax in cornflakes.

Clean your house with a flamethrower.

Insulate gas in your mattress.

Hunt bears with a bb gun.

Make bomb jokes with a flight attendant.

Normal corporate philosophy slogan mottos...

 "We understand how hard it is to keep your facts straight".

"It makes us uncomfortable when people yell at us".

"Maybe you won't be offended".

"We can give you the best but only if we think you deserve it".

"Good at words bad at math".

"We've got whatever you need if we can find it".

"Constantly maneuvering to get a higher percentage of your paycheck".

"Politically correct so you do not have to be".

"You can make me do it but not like it"

"If I had your problem I wouldn't be whining"

McDonalds "Proving great advertisement beats good food".

The education system "Controlling minds, controlling money".

Airlines  "Hoping the plane does not crash"

Credit cards "Hey cool we get some cut of whatever you buy"

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