constantly. whenever i feel i made a mistake - especially in terms of not looking out for the feelings of others or how i appear to others - i relive it and instantly get placed in that situation all over again. i visualize what i should have done in my head and that makes me feel better, but sometimes the same scenario is brought up again.
I try to learn from past mistakes. I definitely dwell on them and try to understand them as best i can.
Regrets are for people with comfort. I've never known it. Regret seems like a far off luxury to me.
I do not look to the future.
The past is terrible and disgusting.
The future only holds my collapse into denigration, dishonour and sadistic intent.
I'd rather not contemplate it.
I try to be more positive than negative.
I don't think i have the capacity for true humanity.
But i'm going to try.
**Do you tend to think about the past and worry about past mistakes, wrongdoings, etc? If so, what are some of these regrets?
All.The.Time.
Sometimes whats obvious to others isn't obvious to me or I'm just careless with my words. There are people I've hurt because of my carelessness and when I look back on it I see how I hurt them and what a shitty person I'd been to them, I wished I would have handled that better. It's a constant replay in my head of how I've done something wrong and trying to find some way of fixing it.
I actually owe Tryp an apology for being a backstabbing piece of shit and I recognize that I did hurt the friendly relationship we had. I do regret what I did, because you're actually a fantastic person to talk to and you trusted me. Its said that once someone betrays your trust, its impossible for you to ever really trust them again. I don't expect you to trust me, like, ever, but I do hope that we can at least be amicable towards each other someday.
I'm really trying to stop revisiting my past. So long as I see myself learning the lesson and making the changes so the past doesn't repeat itself. I'm getting better at it but still need work. As for the future, it doesn't exist. It's good to have goals, but I'm not an overachiever control freak who's a slave to timetables and try to prepare for all the possibilities. There'd be no room in my head for what's going on right in front of me, and it'd all pass me by.
Do you tend to think about the past and worry about past mistakes, wrongdoings, etc? If so, what are some of these regrets? Or would you say you never look back and have no regrets?
I'm aware that I'm slightly skewing this question, but I tend to do that; In theory, I can understand the benefits of confronting trauma/regrets/past mistakes. In practice, I find I'm a far happier person when I don't. Of course, I have some enormous, lying-awake-at-3am regrets. I find it very strange that some people claim otherwise. Are they boring? In denial? Possibly just more functional than I?
In any case, I think I've learnt all I can from my regrets. I intend to avoid meditating on them for the foreseeable future. Whether or not this approach will lead to a mental breakdown in 20 years, I'm not sure. I'll let you know :P
What about the future? Is your foresight good or is it more about the present and maybe immediate future for you?
I'm constantly planning a few years ahead, and I think this is a fault of mine. I hugely envy people who are able to "live in the now".