On the arrival of South Korean international Kim Bo-Kyung:
"Fkn chinkys. Fk it. There's enough dogs in Cardiff for us all to go around."
She said shes off to pee while were watching a movie, now shes been gone 5 minutes and i knew something was up, i knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became suspi...cious...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!' she screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat, i told her to get the fuk up, she didnt so i threw her off, i looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a goddam log, bitch u better pray this isnt yours. i looked around and saw no pet in site, I KNOW THIS IS UR POOP U WHORE, she screamed at me that im crazy and that shes calling the cops, all the while toilet paper in her hands. i told her no need to call the cops, im breaking up with u u some kinda poop whore. and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesnt poop.
u fink ur a funy 1 talkn smak abot me team milwall fc il av u no we r ruff lad i hope u stub ya tow blud da lads n i wil slautre u in a pub fite m8 i hufed my first cocane wen i wos 7 bruv hos the big boi now u getin shankd ppl like u r wats makin me a bit gruf i bet u suporet west ham blowin bubles! ? moer lyk cok ur uncle kisd u godnite u qwer i bet ur sistre is a rite slag u fukin jipsy i ave an ps1 fagit me dad is a plumre so were fukin loded bruv wasnt a gud moov disin me club nw was it u cheaky basterd
h boy /b/ I sure did it this time
I am in so much shit here it's not even funny. Every once in a while I babysit my niece and cousin for some extra money, said niece is 7 and the cousin is 5. I was sitting there and I found one of my uncles Penthouse magazines and started flipping trough the pages, secretly so the kids wouldn't see it. I was sitting comfortably when suddenly I flip open a page to THE HOTTEST GIRL I EVER SEEN. So I am sitting there checking her out when suddenly
my niece spills apple juice all over my pants. I almost shout out god dammit but I managed to hold that shit in when my niece says as I am standing up: "You can put your trousers in the washing machine I know how it works!" So I unbutton my pants and take them off, forgetting that recently I lost a lot of weight (22 pounds) and thus my underwear falls down on the floor. Exposing the boner the Penthouse pet just gave me. And just as my niece points at my my shlong saying: "Why is it all hard like that?" My uncle and aunt walk in the room because they forgot their wallet.
To make a long story short I was kicked out of the house, my uncle slapping me on the head (hard) shouting I'm a pervert, which I am not, and my aunt shouting they'd call the police on me and I was never to come to their house again.
What the fuck do I do now?!
That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much'd you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight with the materials you've got and make myself $15,000. Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can YOU? Go and do likewise. A-I-D-A. Get mad you son of a bitches, get mad. You want to know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate. Go and do likewise gents. Money's out there. You pick it up, it's yours. You don't, I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sits tonight and close, CLOSE. It's yours. If not you're gonna be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying - a bunch of losers sittin' around in a bar. 'Oh yeah. I used to be a salesman. It's a tough racket.' These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer you question, pal, why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to. They asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass because a loser is a loser.
not really copypasta but meh