she's 17. you're 30. oh eddie..
I request Ed and Dynastia told by Sugar. Include this song please.
Edit with apologies:
First of all, Ed I'm sorry for everyone here picturing you as a whore from a nickelback song now. I really am but I had no choice. Dont kill me please.
Everyone else: I'm sorry for you picturing Ed as a whore from a nickelback song now. Really. Sorry.
Niniela stated: source post
TRG stated: source post
she's 17. you're 30. oh eddie..
Uhm no I'm (almost) 18 and he's 31. Also, you sound jealous :)
You must not actually believe that, do you? I'm not going to insult your intelligence (or look like a literalizing newb) with the actual reason(s). Just sayin', fam.
Turncoat stated: source post
Systematic stated: source post
Give me praise and I will protect you with my life and excuse everything you do. You could be a 17 year old edgelord or a middle aged, batshit crazy, homeless woman. Females preferred.
Interesting how you drag Sys into this, lol
Syst already dragged himself in, elsewhere. But if you mean (literally) this thread, then perhaps.
TRG stated: source post
she's 17. you're 30. oh eddie..
Uhm no I'm (almost) 18 and he's 31. Also, you sound jealous :)
Turncoat stated: source post
Systematic stated: source post
Give me praise and I will protect you with my life and excuse everything you do. You could be a 17 year old edgelord or a middle aged, batshit crazy, homeless woman. Females preferred.
Interesting how you drag Sys into this, lol
Through the narcissistic lens
Edvard looked around at the fresh new faces surrounding him. Camera flashes every few seconds and young anime girls whispering to their friends excitedly, wondering if their eyes deceived them. Ed looked at his publicist, growing bored of the repetitiveness that was teenage fans. 'How long do we have to stick around here?'
'We only have three meet and greets left Ed. Almost done', she responded, giving him a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder. Ed was a complicated man, and liked new exciting endeavors, but the praise he received at these Gaming Conventions made it worth it, especially if there were a couple of girls that had developed early.
As he continued to scan the room for any cute girls, he was disrupted by a coarse voice. 'I have that same shirt at home. Did you also get it on sale for $34.95?'. As Ed looked up he saw a mousy looking girl with a strangely confident air about her. She wore glasses, and dressed as though she was having an internal battle between a Hello Kitty girl and a prepubescent boy. 'Uh..no, my girlfriend bought it for me-' he paused when she made an audible sigh. 'Typical. Can't you choose your own shirt?' She then started making some sort of weird ticking noise and looking at her feet.
Ed stammered a little, letting out a nervous chuckle. 'I'm Edvard by the way. What's your name?', he asked, as he prepared to write the same message he had for hundreds of others that day. 'My name is Stephanie, I originally came here to meet the voice actors for Wacky Races, but one of them was eating spaghetti from a tin which I find morally reprehensible, so I left and came here.'
Something seemed so familiar about this girl to Ed. Stephanie...Wacky Races...unmistakable autism..but most notably, her stark disregard for social norms and awkwardness...then suddenly it hit him. 'Rass?!'..she looked stunned for a moment and then something clicked. 'Edvard?!...but..I thought you were an MMA fighter?'..Ed looked at the floor, 'well technically I am. I do the voice of a fighter called Bruce from Tekken. His fighting style is Muay Thai.'
Luckily Stephanie seemed completely unmoved by this information, but also like she had something else on her mind. 'Can I talk to you in private for a moment Ed?'. Ed couldn't say no to those dead puppy dog eyes. He excused himself and said he'd be back in a few moments. He put his hand on the small of Stephanie's back and led her to a stairwell where they could talk privately.
'What's going on Stephanie? Is everything okay?' He looked deep into her soulless eyes searching for an answer. Slowly he saw them welling up and instinctively held her. 'I just want to be safe with you Ed. Make me feel safe.'
Ed knew what this meant. He had heard this line many times from women who didn't want to admit what they really wanted. He slowly pushed his hand down her jeans and started feeling in between her legs. He pushed through the first layer of clingfilm, slightly confused until he remembered that the new anime craze was to protect your private parts from any new age bacteria. He went on through the 2nd and 3rd layer and finally, he had reached his goal. As he pushed his fingers into her pussy, he felt a strange goo. It felt almost solid..perhaps this girl had kept the clingfilm on for too long. Either way, Ed was man enough to wade through the warm sticky substance oozing out of her. It didn't smell great either but her stifled moan brought his attention back to the matter at hand (or finger).
As he pushed further inside, he tried hard to ignore the fact that this goo seemed to be drying up - shouldn't she be getting wetter the more he massaged her clit? He began to work a rhythm, side to side - that always got them - hoping he could do his duty as a man quickly and be done with it. Suddenly he realized he wasn't touching her clit anymore, but part of the goo had broken off into his hand. He could barely stop himself retching and realized he needed to know what this was. As he removed his hand from inside her jeans the pungent smell was barely tolerable. Before Ed knew it he was throwing up the tinned spaghetti served at the convention all over Stephanie's sneakers. Horrified and humiliated, he had to know what this goo was. His vision was blurred, he couldn't quite make it out. He blinked hard, several times and his gaze regained focus. What he saw, shocked him to his core.
It was a piece of tuna.
TRG stated: source post
she's 17. you're 30. oh eddie..
Systematic stated: source post
Give me praise and I will protect you with my life and excuse everything you do. You could be a 17 year old edgelord or a middle aged, batshit crazy, homeless woman. Females preferred.
Turncoat stated: source post
TRG stated: source post
she's 17. you're 30. oh eddie..
Systematic stated: source post
Give me praise and I will protect you with my life and excuse everything you do. You could be a 17 year old edgelord or a middle aged, batshit crazy, homeless woman. Females preferred.
What's with these circular arguments? XD
Also, you make it sound like Xena and Nini just started "praising" me out of the blue. Which of us has bad memory here?