"I am a perfectionist, have high standards for me and my work, but I project them onto others also. It's part of why I think most people are stupid and disappointing, am dismissive to them and don't bother getting to know and understand them better on a personal level."
No, its not that. Its just that they bore me, if they are not up to my "standards". I have tried really hard to connect to people on a normal level, but i get so bored very often, i rather try to masturbate to white paint drying.
I do think a lot of people are stupid thought, but thats almost never the reason i dismiss them, as i usually never associate with such people, because of my field of interest brings me to generally non-stupid people.
"fantasies of sexual torture"
That just makes my dick hard, but it may be because of what you say, i still do not know. Because i do not feel angry when i see/make it(as art). Its pretty and relaxing.
"edgy ideas about genocide"
Thats is not relevant to my anger, its a tool of the trade and i see it for what it is.
I am nothing like a hikikomori thought Lol.
The rest some i agree, other is maybe(close to agree).
"Contemplated just saying Fuck It at first but alright :D"
That would be pretty good too. Because i used to have no purpose, but then i tried to create one logically and i believe i have done so. The outcome of all this is to find out if there is a purpose. However it is becoming increasing hard to keep myself to care as time passes. But i am not one to quit either.
Thank you ed.