and the ":D" smile in FB looks like its faking the laugh.
Aren't there three kinds of empathy? I think that like love, empathy is a complex concept until you lack it completely. Then it's quite obvious that even just a little can go a long way.
I struggle with emotional empathy but I don't think that was always the case. I believe over time, I had to tune out in order to keep my wits about me. I think I hardened up a bit more than ever intended. But I'm working on my ability to empathize, and am starting to think that it's total bullshit that you're just stuck with it or without it. I'm getting better at caring about other people. I've been making a conscious effort to give a shit, and it's paying off. The more I practice reciprocating interest and concern, the more it's beginning to happen on its own.
It helps that I am no longer exposing myself to the poisonous family dynamic I was once tangled up in. It also helps to be mindful and redirect my inner critic that has a tendency to highlight all the bad traits I see in others, so that I don't have to treat them with respect.