I have been in a relationship with an aspie for 3 years now. I know the relationship won't be the one I grow old into. In some cases it has done be great. I'm calmer a bit better with my actions, he can't stand loud noises so I guess I have learned to dull down a bit. Also its way more affectionate than I am sometimes comfortable with. He accepts my leading, being the smarter party and even accepts my selfishness. Yet I feel sooooooooo trapped. He is very set on his rights and wrongs (can you guess what he does? Smh). I mean I do what I want I just don't mention it. I'm I killing myself trying to dull down my impulses? My control is def better. .....but I feel locked down lol. So 8 guess my question is...do other people pick relationships that keep them out of the thick of things?
You should have things in common in relationships and be able to match each other in a lot of ways. However, balance is important. It's good to be able to reign each other in when one is going too far with things and to keep each other in check. If your relationship keeps you out of prison, then that is great!
I had a relationship like that before but he was super tight with his morals. That did not end well. That relationship was followed up with another with a guy who was so like me, it seemed great! That got really out of hand and turned out to be a really terrible decision...
So balance is the best. If you two get along AND he keeps you out of prison, then that's awesome! Relationships take some compromise always, but if you truly feel as if you are being stifled and unable to feel comfortable being yourself around your partner, then leave. And if he breaks in to your house demanding you do his laundry, you say "no".
Hindsightis2020 stated: source post
I'm I killing myself trying to dull down my impulses? My control is def better. .....but I feel locked down lol. So 8 guess my question is...do other people pick relationships that keep them out of the thick of things?
Absolutely have done this, yes. Have also had the relationships that unleash my lmpulses. For me something in the middle works best.
Haha so I've found put. It's just when is it too much?! It seems he finds himself as a victim more than the normal person, I know it helps me at times but there is so much more to it for me. I don't feel he's a victim. ....do times it makes me want to show him what a victim is, almost makes him into prey for me at times. I resist but he'll he's never seen me at full onbeast mode, I don't think he compehends the person I could be.
Valid point....I've tried outs. He doesn't understand them. He has obsessive addiction like behavior to me. Which he takes great care of ME but nobody else, i kinda like that, but it doesn't make for a good father figure. I could drop him off in Africa and he would be sitting on my porch waiting for me to get home...like let's talk about our feelings....lol