JChitty stated: source post
wanting a mutual respect
^ that's how. It's one of those things which don't happen on demand. It's either there or not - if not, then no demand will bring it.
If mutuality is a big deal for you, you can detract your respect then you're both on equal grounds.
JChitty stated: source post
Hate when people don't make direct eye contact cause I always do, I expect it back. I always call them out
Do they ever make fun of your neediness?
I know -- but there are some (as even mentioned in this thread, like aspies etc.) who freak out by it. They may feel even disrespected by it, and they think not making eye-contact is a form of respect.
Myself, i tend to stare a lot at people and things - something i need to be more mindful about, as it can be disconcerting i heard. (I tend to be a tad oblivious at times.)
JChitty stated: source post
Personally I'm huge on eye contact, especially in disputes or serious circumstances I give full eye contact and hate when people won't match my gaze. Hate when people don't make direct eye contact cause I always do, I expect it back. I always call them out
i realized as part of my venus fly trap personality, i tend to look away as if intimidated when someone (usually male) i don't really know does this. then once the pleasantries are well and truly over, they are always surprised when i stare them out. lol tricked you lol
I have a habit of focusing on the eyes while looking at one's face and focusing on the face before looking at the other parts (unless I'm walking in a street and someone's holding something in his/her hand; putting hand in a pocket, etc.). Sometimes friends go all "look at that girl". I look at her face and respond with a "meh" prior realizing they were referring to her enormous bosoms.
One friend always announces that I'm starring, so when we interact I make it a point to stare. Like turn my head, look, look, look, slowly answer the question. He then goes all "Staring mee lololol :3". I find it amusing, which stimulates me to continue.
A few days ago I was taking my nightly walk in this passage, surrounded by trees and no light sources whatsoever. Two thuggish looking guys (leather jackets and everything), shorter than me, were walking to my direction. I flicked my knife in the pocket just to make a click sound and looked into one's, than the other's eyes the whole time. They were starting back at me, which made it even more interesting. I did, however, feel a bit uncomfortable when they ended up behind my back as there were no shadows (due to no light sources) on the ground and I was listening to music, coming from my earphones. Still, it went well.
I usually focus on the eyes and the forehead when making eye contact rather than the lower triangle, i.e. eyes and lips, though I try to maintain the other approach as well.
moonshine stated: source post
I know -- but there are some (as even mentioned in this thread, like aspies etc.) who freak out by it. They may feel even disrespected by it, and they think not making eye-contact is a form of respect.
Oh see if somebody has a problem like that of course I'm able to put that into consideration, I do have the understanding that certain people would have a different view and I normally wouldn't fight with an aspie. But for one instance I was over a girls place a few months ago and she bitched me out for something, I cant recall, and so I got a little defensive and of course I was making eye contact and maybe she felt small but then went from aggressive to passive and wouldn't look me in the eye and if your'e going to put up an aggressive front by all mean keep it up or simply say the misunderstanding that was interpreted. She didn't tho she started arguing still and wouldn't look me in the eye, so I called her out, said something along the lines of "...sorry your'e too self conscious to look me in the fucking eyes." But that's personally how I go about it, not saying its the right way or wrong way, it's just effective
I used to get into stare matches with people in the subway when they faced me in the train. One time this builtfat mofo got into one with me and I expected him to look down or turn his eyes away, instead he just crossed arms and stared even harder in my eyes. I immediately felt anxiety build up and looked on the ground (it wasn't even deliberate, my eyes just went there) he made a snide smile with a snort and told me "maybe the next one kid". I was like 16, this was the moment when it really got into my head that there's a language besides the verbal one that is universal to humans.